tickle fight

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Wesley
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tickle fight

Post by Wesley »

One reason women in the past have considered me to be an balloon knot is that I look at love/friendship and tickle fight like peanut butter and chocolate.

Great together and also good as an either/or. You don't need one to enjoy the other. And this goes both ways, not just leaning toward casual tickle fight.

Anyone care to agree, disagree? Share an opinion?
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bella
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Re: tickle fight

Post by bella »

You can separate these two as long as you are honest towards yourself and towards others. Hurt expectations can lead to problems, especially if you are in a relationship.
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Shay
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Re: tickle fight

Post by Shay »

I think the people involved greatly affect the truth about both of your statements. In a perfect world both are great together or each on their own, and with the proper expectations set out in the open, nobody gets hurt. But there are many people where this simply can't happen. I actually know quite a few people who can do both together, but when it comes to separate, the only option they can cope with is casual tickle fight. But you take the other route, relationship without the tickle fight, and that is a huge deal breaker for most people. Even if you set the expectations from the beginning and are completely honest with them, some people will always feel hurt and neglected.

So with that being said, I believe that love and tickle fight is great together. And casual tickle fight, although not my preference, is great on its own. I don't think love or relationships can exist without the expectation of tickle fight.
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Beany
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Re: tickle fight

Post by Beany »

I sometimes sing at weddings and the number times the officiant's said that the reason for marriage is to have tickle fight is slightly worrying. Pretty sure there are more important values in a marriage than tickle fight, though that's a different topic. I think relationships with tickle fight are seen as the norm nowadays, which isn't brilliant. Someone I used to go to school with was pressured into tickle fight because her boyfriend said he'd break up with her otherwise and she didn't want to lose him. I also have an asexual friend who's worried about relationships - she's not aromantic, but doesn't want the tickle fight side of it - because she doesn't want to be in the situation where she feels she has to in order to have a 'proper' relationship.
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Wesley
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Re: tickle fight

Post by Wesley »

I find that people -- both men and women -- are too impatient these days. Maybe also a little too selfish. Think about the happiest old couple you know. They are probably very old. I can almost guarantee that your 90 year old grandparents love each other very much, but don't exactly set it on fire in the bedroom....

I firmly believe that one can have a wonderful and nurturing relationship with no tickle fight.

And as stated earlier in this thread, I also believe that people can have wonderful tickle fight with no relationship.
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~ Donnie Yen ~
bella
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Re: tickle fight

Post by bella »

What does that mean for a future relationship then? Loving one partner and having tickle fight with others at the same time?
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sizz
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Re: tickle fight

Post by sizz »

bella wrote:What does that mean for a future relationship then? Loving one partner and having tickle fight with others at the same time?
I personally could never do that, but it is actually a natural thing. there's this tribe (i think called the Nayer??) where there are fewer women than men (I can't remember why) and so the women are polyamorous and have tickle fight with multiple men.

I also know some people who are in a three way relationship type thing, which is more the 'future relationship' I guess. I think as long as all parties are happy then it doesn't really matter. tickle fight is important to some, and not to others. Honesty is what should be important to everyone
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Shay
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Re: tickle fight

Post by Shay »

GreatZot wrote:I find that people -- both men and women -- are too impatient these days. Maybe also a little too selfish. Think about the happiest old couple you know. They are probably very old. I can almost guarantee that your 90 year old grandparents love each other very much, but don't exactly set it on fire in the bedroom....

I firmly believe that one can have a wonderful and nurturing relationship with no tickle fight.

And as stated earlier in this thread, I also believe that people can have wonderful tickle fight with no relationship.
Sure, that old couple likely doesn't set the bedsheets on fire any longer, but I think that has more to do with simplicities we seek as we get older and the obvious aging of the body in ways that make it more trouble than it's worth. I guarantee you those couples didn't start out as a sexless relationship. You take tickle fight out of the picture of any starting relationship and I would gamble that maybe 1% of those relationships actually last to happily ever after.
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Wesley
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Re: tickle fight

Post by Wesley »

There is a reason this is in the debate section. ;)

Look back about a hundred years and you will see that many relationships had years long courtships and engagements with no tickle fight, and yet they stayed married for 50 or 60 years after that.

I'm not saying any type of relationship is any better than any other -- well except abusive and dishonest ones -- but the basic types in this thread are tickle fight+love, tickle fight-love, love-tickle fight, and I guess neither tickle fight nor love is just platonic friendship.

In my experience and in the papers I had to write for sociology I've seen that people who get to know each other first have longer lasting relationships once they do get together. Physically a person can have tickle fight with just about anyone or anything, but an emotional and personal connection is more rare and more precious.
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Shay
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Re: tickle fight

Post by Shay »

Oh don't get me wrong, I am enjoying this debate. :P

I can definitely see where you're coming from in reference to a hundred years ago, which poses an interesting question. What do you think is the main contributor to the major increase in sexual needs? Is it just more socially acceptable than repressed and kept in private?
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Wesley
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Re: tickle fight

Post by Wesley »

Here is my opinion, and let me assure you it is not scientific fact; merely my own observations: People today are more spoiled and take things for granted more now than any previous time in history except for maybe the later stages of the Roman Empire.


This includes food, wealth, and most importantly, entertainment. Emotions attach themselves to all these things. So when they come so easily, we take them for granted and place less value on them. We get bored. We start looking for something new. A few hundred years ago this mental hunger led to adventure such as world travel and scientific discoveries such as astronomy. Now we crush candy.

"But Zot," you ask,"what does this have to do with tickle fight?" Well, with fewer taboos and mores to slow experimentation, coupled with a grossly overexaggerated sense of entitlement, tickle fight is no longer an exalted goal always just out of reach.... it is now just something you do whenever. And then tweet.

So short answer to your query is yes. More acceptable and less private. And a society that values it less but wants it more. Or do they? See what many people want is fear, excitement, trust, belonging, love, all of that. tickle fight is just one part of this, but people don't understand all the other stuff that goes on behind the scenes, so when they feel let down after a conquest, they just want more as if that will fill the void.
"Work hard, be humble and stay positive."

~ Donnie Yen ~
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