Dangerous food

[Wesley]

Have you ever had a tortilla chip stab you in the roof of your mouth? Had an apple peel go between your teeth and cut your gums? This is the thread for stories like that.

[Wesley]

I'll start. Since I am eating breakfast right now, I'll go with breakfast foods for the first dangerous post.

This tasty and moderately healthy breakfast cereal is made up of little pillow-shaped squares of toasted oatmeal. See?

Well, the structural integrity of toasted oatmeal is such that if you happen to bite down one one or two of those when they are in your mouth diagonally, the roof of your mouth will break before the corner of the cereal does. On rare occasions it is possible to stab and cut your lower gums as well. Eating a healthy breakfast has never been so dangerous and exciting!

[chex]

I refuse to eat this cereal now.

[LaLou]

I had an herring on a roll once. That was the first time I had herring. I didn't know that there was about two cm of fishbone left in the tail end of the fish. One got stuck in my throath. Sideways. I was in a restaurant by myself, and none of the staff saw me gasping for breath. I already finished my drink so that wasn't an option. Then I saw the huge strawberry in my desert. I stuffed the whole thing in my mouth and squished it. Swallowing the juice made the fishbone go down with it. I was so relieved. And for the rest of my life very careful when eating herring. Or any other fish.

[Dowster]

Years back McD's used to have the Chicken Premeire (before the chicken legend)


I got one on the first day of a 2 week holiday that I had from work around easter (2002 I think) Anyways, the sammich itself didn't seem that hot, but when I took a bite into it I found out that the mayo was about the same temperature as molton lava, and over the course of the next couple of weeks - pretty much the duration of my holiday. The entire roof of my mouth turned into a giant blister, eventually all of the damage bit peeled off, and it all healed over. But it was not a fun holiday, as I could barely eat anything without being in severe pain, and even the things I could manage were still very unpleasant

[bella]

Did you try to sue them?

I love this kind of candy, a bit similar to jelly beans but they are bigger and the outside is harder.



One time I bit on one of them with my back molars and when the outer shell of it cracked, it hurt my jaw joint. Not badly though, it got worse when the wound got inflamed. Moving my lower jaw hurt, the gums and eating too. It lasted a few days.
I still eat them though.

[Eff]

That's a funny thread

[Dowster]

Nope no suing. I didn't think that being a greedy bastard who was too impatient to wait or even check before biting into very hot food, was much of a case

[Wesley]

These things have to be in the top 3 of all time for mouth damage.

The wavy shape guarantees maximum structural integrity of the chip at the point of contact with the roof of your mouth. You eat these, you are going to bleed. Look at a close-up...

Mighty fine salsa there, but I will not eat it with those chips. It would be like playing Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun. No, thank you.

[Mouse]

Giant hot dogs... dangerous for 2 reasons:
1: because you have to open your mouth so big that it can tear the corners of your lips if you're not well prepared
2: because onlooking males get dirty images in their heads and stare at you while you eat, rendering you horribly uncomfortable and unable to enjoy the tasty goodness


Oh, and small children can choke on the perfectly esophagus-sized morsels.

[chex]

Zot, I haaate those chips!

[Beany]

Pre-washed salad - it sticks to your throat. Also, fairly dry carbonara.

[bella]

Where is summer when you need a 'sausages make me gag'-post?