Chapter 81 --> Super Deck

[Clarence]

Early morning.

Steroids Man wakes up in the kitchen which is a mess. He's sleeping on the kitchen counter and wakes up and hits his head on the cupboards and falls off and crashes to the floor. Steroids Man then gets up and feels his head.

Steroids Man: Oh man.... what happened.... my head.... do I actually have a hangover? Usually I have too many steroids in my system to have a hangover... wtf... what happened last night?

Steroids Man thinks back and remembers proposing to Amanda and thinks about it with a smile on his face. He then remembers Doug, Phil and the Robot joining them as they busted out the alcohol.

Steroids Man: Yup, I was partying last night.

Steroids Man remembers more stuff.... drunken craziness and then remembers the best moment ever... finally and I mean FINALLY having tickle fight with Amanda. It was awesome but normal tickle fight that didn't involve an injury or a fatality... Steroids Man finally had tickle fight with the woman he loves more than anyone ever and is now engaged to her.

Steroids Man: Oh man, last night was awesome!

...suddenly Steroids Man's happy expression changes as he begins to remember even more about the night... seeing the Manager......

#Flashback#

The Manager: I'm back Steroids Man, and you're going to help me return to this world or Amanda will die! MUAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
##

Steroids Man falls back and crashes into the fridge.

Steroids Man: No.... no that didn't happen... I must have alcohol poisoning....

Steroids Man clutches his heart and remembers more about last night.....

#Flashback#

Steroids Man stumbles down the stairs after just finding out The Manager is still in his life.

Steroids Man walks into the room with Doug, Phil, the robot and Amanda and crashes on the floor.

Amanda: Steroids Man!

Amanda runs to steroids Man who is barely conscious.

Steroids Man: My heart....

Phil: I was afraid of this.... his rhino heart needs to be replaced... after all it's now 7 years old due to the time travel thing so.... I prepared for this.

Phil leans down towards Steroids Man holding a large brief case.

Phil: I'm pretty drunk right now.... but I'm going to have to give you a heart transplant, ok?

Steroids Man: Someone pour some whiskey into my mouth!

Phil performs the surgery and Steroids Man has a new rhino heart beating inside him within 20 minutes.... Steroids Man wakes up.

Steroids Man: Ohhh... I don't feel good at all.

Phil: Take it easy, you have a new heart now.....

Steroids Man: AMANDA!?!

Amanda: I'm here baby....

Steroids Man (Hugging): I love you so much!

##

We cut back to the kitchen with Steroids Man very confused and trying to sort out last nights events.

Amanda enters the room.

Amanda: Hey there baby, oh man I'm so hung over .... thank goodness I don't have to work today!

Amanda goes to the fridge and drinks some cold water and takes some Tylenol. Steroids Man then hugs her so hard that she almost loses her balance and drops the water.

Amanda: Oh my!

Steroids Man (crying): I love you so much Amanda!

Amanda: I love you too! What's wrong?

Steroids Man: I'm just so happy that we're finally together.... what a crazy night last night, huh?

Amanda: Yeah, how are you feeling after that heart transplant?

Steroids Man: *GASP*!!!!! You mean.... that really DID happen? Than that must mean the other horrible thing happened too!!!

Amanda: What horrible thing?

Steroids Man: Ummmm..... I have to pee.

~~~~

Steroids Man is very hung over and peeing in the sink in the bathroom while looking in the mirror and watching himself pee.

Steroids Man: Ok Steroids Man, it was all just a dream.... none of it happened. The Manager is dead and not trying to kill your future wife!

Steroids Man finished his pee and shakes it twice then looks up in the mirror to see The Manager looking back at him. Steroids Man screams and falls back against the closed door.

The Manager: Good morning Steroids Man!

Steroids Man: You aren't real!

The Manager: Oh yes I am, I have been watching you for a very long time.... making sure you stay alive so you can help me with my return!

Steroids Man: You have!?!

The Manager: Of course I have, do you think Phil could have figured out how to fix your heart all on his own? Or know where to find you when you were frozen in the arctic....?

Steroids Man: I....

The Manager: What about when that guy had a rocket launcher at your face and a mysterious wind picked up just as he was about to shoot it at you? It's been me all along! I can't count how many times you would have died if it were not for me and my powers.

Steroids Man: But you're supposed to be dead! I seen you get nuked and shot through a portal!

The Manager: That's right ... you did.... that portal was supposed to lead to a demon world... but the explosion closed the portal closed on both ends, leaving me trapped in limbo.... which is where I am now! I'm trapped between two worlds! ...I've lost my ability to transform into a super demon monster, but my power grows with each passing moment! I am strong enough to influence your world even though I'm not in it! I have been waiting for so long for my powers to grow enough to maintain communication with you for long periods of time... and I have waited even longer for you to hook up with Amanda so I can use her as a guarantee that you'll help me. I'm a very patient demon!

Steroids Man: That was a lot of words and I'm way too hung over to remember most of what you said!

The Manager: What?

Steroids Man: Honestly, I zoned out like half way through you talking just now.

The Manager: Just help me or else!

Steroids Man: What do you want me to do?

The Manager: You're going to help me construct a machine that will allow me to pierce the veil of Limbo and return to your world... and with my new powers I will rule it!

Steroids Man: So.... are we still friends?

The Manager: We were never friends you smurf idiot! Now help me or I will kill Amanda!

Steroids Man thinks about it and thinks about how The Manager really used him for evil the last time and does something very bold this time.

Steroids Man: No.

The Manager (Glowing red eyes): WHAT?!?!

Steroids Man: I refuse!

The Manager: You know what's at stake!

Steroids Man: I'm going to ignore you, and you are going to have to find someone else to do your dirty work this time!

The Manager: YOU WILL REGRET THIS!!!

Steroids Man punches the mirror that The Manager is projecting his image on and it shatters to a million pieces. Steroids Man comes out and his fist is a bit bloody.

Amanda: What happened in there? I heard yelling and glass shattering?

Steroids Man: I was .... constipated.

Amanda: Are you ok?

Steroids Man: I'm ok as long as I have you.... and no matter what I am not going to lose you!

Steroids Man hears the Manager's voice.......

The Manager's voice: Yes you are.....

Steroids Man replies though to Amanda it seems like there is nobody around.

Steroids Man: No I'm not!

Amanda: huh?

Steroids Man: I got a surprise announcement... gather everyone around.

~~~

Phil, Doug, The Robot, the pet cat Max and Amanda are all in the living-room on couches listening to Steroids Man talk.

Steroids Man: Hey everyone, I got an important announcement to make.... I am finally going to live my life long dream and do something I always wanted!

Robot: THAT SOUNDS EXCITING, WHAT IS IT?

Steroids Man: I am going to build.... SUPER DECK!

Doug: What the hell are you talking about?

Steroids Man: Have you ever seen some people's decks? They're tiny and crappy.... I want to build a HUGE deck outside... but it will be epic! We have tonnes of land and I think we can pull this off!

Phil: Well that could be nice, have some barbecues and stuff.

Steroids Man: I want this deck to be seen from space!

Phil: Ok... why does it have to be that big?

Steroids Man: It's been my life long dream to have a huge deck.

Doug: Are you sure your life long dream isn't to have a huge princess sophia?

Steroids Man: Get the smurf out.

Doug: What....

Steroids Man: This isn't a place for jokes, leave.

Doug: Whatever.....

Steroids Man: This is going to be awesome guys, you'll see........

Steroids Man looks over at the wall to see a large scale of The Manager's face giving him an evil look.... only Steroids Man can see this.

Steroids Man (looking over): Don't you look at me like that, you're not going to get your way THIS time buddy! This is all about Steroids Man right here!

Everyone else looks over and sees nothing but a velvet painting of a cat where Steroids Man is looking... Amanda looks very worried.

Phil: Who the smurf were you just talking to?

Steroids Man: *shakes his head to clear his thoughts* Phil, don't you have some managing to do or something?

Phil: YOU called me out here for this!

Steroids Man: Well you're certainly not wanted.

Phil and everyone else is shocked at Steroids Man... nobody knows what's really going on and Steroids Man won't tell them.

We hear and see many trucks enter the driveway.

Steroids Man jumps up and down and claps his hands excitedly.

Steroids Man: My wood is here! Who wants to help me play with my wood?

Robot: I WILL!

Amanda: I think I'm going to see if I can go into work after all...

~~~~

Steroids Man and the robot are working hard on starting the deck. They have stockpiles of wood and nails and everything they need.... because Steroids Man is still obscenely rich he can afford to build as much deck as he wants.... and he's been at it for a few hours with the robot and has a good start on it.

Steroids Man: Yes, more steroids!

Steroids Man keeps injecting steroids and building the super deck like mad.... whenever Steroids Man takes a break The Manager bugs him so he immediately gets back to work.... because of this Steroids Man has sworn off breaks.

Amanda comes out and is shocked how much of the deck is built already.... it's already the size of a basketball court. Amanda goes over to talk to Steroids Man who is constantly pounding in nails.

Amanda: Wow... I can't believe the size of this deck.... you really wanted this huh?

Steroids Man pounds in nails and won't break his concentration on his job.

Steroids Man: yup.

Amanda: So how big is this deck going to be again?

Steroids Man: Never ending.

Amanda: Wow.... that seems insane....

Steroids Man: It needs to happen.

Amanda: How long do you think you're going to be working on this?

Steroids Man: Until the day I die.... this deck is going to become it's own city.

Amanda: You know..... I'm glad you are this passionate about something.... but....

Steroids Man: Super deck is my life.... I will never love something as much as this deck.

Amanda: You know what? This is our first full day being engaged... I was hoping we could spend SOME time together.

Steroids Man: This deck isn't going to build itself.

Amanda grabs the hammer out of Steroids Man's hands.

Steroids Man: What are you doing?!?!?

Amanda: You need to take a break!

Steroids Man (Seeming really distant): but... super deck....

Amanda: Something is wrong, you're acting weird... tell me!

Steroids Man: Everything is fine baby... I need to build super deck now.

Amanda (Grabbing Steroids Man's hand): I think you'll forget about super deck when you see what I'm about to do...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We cut to Steroids Man's room and Amanda on top riding him hard.

Amanda: OH YESSS!!!! OH YESSSSS!!!

Steroids Man: yeah.... that's good... thanks for this.

Amanda looks down while riding him.

Amanda: what the smurf are you doing?

Steroids Man is looking out the window and watching the robot build the deck while Amanda is smurf him.

Amanda: Look at me not the deck!

Steroids Man: Sorry...

Amanda rides him for a bit more and then finishes up but Steroids Man looks very distant like he's seen a ghost.

Amanda: Was that good for you?

Steroids Man: Sure was.

Amanda: I love you baby!

Steroids Man: I love you too deck.

Amanda: WHAT?!?

Steroids Man sees another ghost image of The Manager watching him.

Steroids Man: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Steroids Man jumps out of bed naked and runs through a wall crying. Amanda is just so confused and upset by all this.

Steroids Man grabs a pair of underwear and goes back to work on the deck....

~~~~~~
We cut to a middle aged couple sleeping in bead and they wake up from pounding noises.

Wife: what's going on?

Husband: I'm not sure... I'll go see.

The husband goes out in his sleeping clothes to see Steroids Man and the robot hammering away at super deck... which is growing and now only inches from his driveway.

Husband: What the hell is going on?

Steroids Man: We're building the greatest deck in the world!

Husband: But... your property is way the hell over there!

Steroids Man: I need your home.

Husband: What?

Steroids Man: I'll give you 3 million dollars for it.

Husband: Really? For THIS place?

Steroids Man: 5 million!

Husband: Ok!

(Steroids Man has so much money from thankful countries after saving the world even HE can't spend it all)

The husband is happy that he is selling this piece of junk house for 5 million dollars and goes inside to tell his wife.

Steroids Man (to robot): All these houses are in my way... we'll have to buy them all out.

Robot: OK!

Steroids Man: Now that we own this house, go demolish it!

Robot: BUT ... THOSE PEOPLE ARE STILL INSIDE!

Steroids Man: DO IT!!!

Steroids Man begins to build the deck over their driveway as the robot goes over and starts physically ripping the building apart with his robot strength......

Steroids Man continues to work all night on the deck until morning taking the whole block of houses and converting it into a large deck!

Steroids Man is sweating and holding a hammer as the sun begins to raise. His mansion is completely surrounded by super deck. There is nowhere left to build.

Robot: THERE IS NOWHERE ELSE TO BUILD STEROIDS MAN, THE STREETS ARE IN THE WAY!

Steroids Man: Well I guess this will do... it will be kind of a mediocre super deck though.

As Steroids Man stops and rests a vision of The Manager comes to him.

The Manager: Are you done now Steroids Man? It's time to help me or Amanda dies!

Steroids Man: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Robot: WHAT?

Steroids Man: We have to keep building, I am safe as long as I keep building.

Robot: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???

Steroids Man: WE NEED TO KEEP BUILDING!

Robot: WE CAN'T, WE DON'T OWN THE ROADS!!

Steroids Man: .... or do we?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steroids Man is at the Mayor's office.

Mayor: So... let me get this straight.... you want to buy the east side?

Steroids Man: Yes.

Mayor: Why?!

Steroids Man: I want to build the world's largest deck.... and the roads are in my way.

Steroids Man is starting to look a bit crazy... he hasn't slept since he woke up from heart surgery and drinking cause he sees The Manager when he sleeps... Steroids Man now has dark circles in his eyes and is twitching and winking randomly.

Mayor: You're scaring me... this is even worse than your idea to carpet all the streets in the city....

Steroids Man: I'll give you a LOT of money.

Mayor: Well... the city is in debt..... alright fine, I'm sick of this town anyway, go ahead and destroy it (drinks whiskey straight from the bottle)

Steroids Man: Awesome!

Steroids Man looks over to see another ghostly silhouette of the Manager looking at him on the wall.

Steroids Man: LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU DON'T EXIST!!!!!

Steroids Man goes over to the wall and rips the drywall apart and leaves.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the news ~~~

Reporter: Tonight, on the 6 O'clock news! Steroids Man, world recognized super hero has officially purchased the entire east side of Marzipan City... apparently he is attempting to build the world's largest deck....

Suddenly we hear pounding noises.

Reporter: Sorry viewers, there appears to be some commotion going on in here....

Suddenly The Robot and Steroids Man enter holding pieces of wood and hammering them together right in front of the news reporter.

Reporter: You can't build your deck in here!

Steroids Man: YES I CAN!!! Now get out of my way!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steroids Man builds and builds and eventually 2 days pass and it covers most of the east side ... the town will never be the same again.

Amanda comes home from her cop job on a small helicopter that Steroids Man provided and lands on the super deck, there's no ground for miles.... so basically Steroids Man gave everyone helicopters or golf cart like vehicles with soft wheels to travel around the deck and east side.

Amanda gets out of the helicopter and heads towards the entrance of the mansion when she hears growling.

Amanda: AHHHH!!!

Amanda looks down to see a bear looking up at her through the cracks of the wood.... as Steroids Man began to build into the woods a lot of bears got under super deck and are lost, hungry, and fighting each other for food and eating each other.

Amanda comes inside and hangs up her police hat and jacket.

Amanda: When is this going to stop Steroids Man? There's something clearly wrong and as your now engaged to me you have to tell me stuff! (Don't make me leave you again)

Steroids Man: Don't worry about it baby, come see this!

Amanda gathers around with The Robot and Doug around the computer being manned by Phil.

Amanda: *sigh* what is it?

Steroids Man: Look... you can see our deck from space!!! Aren't you excited!

Amanda: Oh my God you look horrible! Have you been sleeping?

Steroids Man has THICK dark circles and a beard and is swaying back and fourth as he stands up drinking a Red Bull in one hand and a 5 hour energy shot in the other.

Steroids Man: Of course I have!

Steroids Man once again sees a vision of The Manager ... he will not leave Steroids Man alone.

Steroids Man: Got to go!

Steroids Man runs outside and gets into his golf cart looking vehicle and heads to the outskirts of the deck with his map and some tools and drives off.

Amanda: That's it, I'm getting to the bottom of this!

Amanda gets into another golf cart like vehicle and begins to chase Steroids Man down.

It's dark and cloudy out all of a sudden as Amanda chases Steroids Man while yelling... traveling about 30 miles an hour which is their vehicles' top speed.

Amanda: Stop and talk to me!

Steroids Man: I can't!

Amanda: Why are you doing this?!?!

steroids Man: I'm sorry!

Amanda takes out her gun and shoots out Steroids Man's tires and he wipes out and the vehicle rolls about a bit damaging part of the deck that they were driving on.

Amanda gets out and goes over to the wreckage... all we see for miles is a never ending landscape of wooden deck.

It's still getting darker and now the wind is picking up. Steroids Man crawls out from under the golf cart thing and cleans himself off and injects steroids when the map he's holding blows away.

Steroids Man: shazam!!

Amanda: Why did you ask me to marry you then start avoiding me!!?

Steroids Man: I don't want you to die! *cries*

Amanda: This again? I'm not going to die!!

Suddenly it begins to snow.

Steroids Man: I don't think I can protect you... I don't think I can keep you safe.

Amanda: Steroids Man, I love you, you have to stop worrying about this! Let's just have fun together and enjoy life and be happy together, nothing is going to happen to us!

Amanda finds herself talking louder as it's getting VERY windy and the snow is REALLY picking up.

Steroids Man: I love you baby.

Amanda: Then be with me, spend time with me and let's enjoy life!

Steroids Man: Ok... I'm so sorry I'm an balloon knot!

Amanda: No you're not, I know you mean well, I know you care!

Steroids Man: I'm going to be sure that you will always be safe!

They hug and kiss and the storm gets extremely bad.

Amanda: We have to head back now, it's freezing and I'm not dressed for it!

They get in Amanda's gulf cart but it won't start...

Amanda: Oh no, it's completely dead!

Steroids Man: We'll have to run home!

They begin to run and get even more lost on the massive super deck until it becomes hopeless...

Amanda: Oh no... I'm freezing and can't feel my legs... where are we?

Steroids Man: I don't know....

Amanda collapses and Steroids Man falls next to her as they begin to freeze over.

Amanda: This is the end...

Steroids Man: It's all my fault!

Amanda: I will love you forever...

Steroids Man cries as Amanda passes out in his arms... then a floating red ghostly image of The Manager appears floating high above them.

Steroids Man (looking up): You bastard! You just won't leave me alone will you!

The Manager: If you help me then she will live.

Steroids Man: How dare you take advantage of this random act of nature!

The Manager: I created this storm you idiot, now agree to help me and she will live!

Steroids Man: ... I don't know what to do... I don't want Amanda to die...

The Manger: All you have to do is help me build a machine to come back to your world, that's it. Agree to help me and she lives and also you guys can live happy ever after!

Steroids Man: Fine.

The Manager: I knew you would choose the right answer!

The Manager laughs and fades away along with the storm and the sun comes out, Amanda is still in Steroids Man's arms and the snow and ice begin to melt off of them, Steroids Man looks over to see he was right in front of the door of the mansion the whole time.

Steroids Man: OHH smurf ME!!!

Steroids Man gets her inside and Doug, Phil and The Robot all help warm her with blankets and hot chocolate and stuff.

Steroids Man: Are you ok???

Amanda slowly wakes up and smiles.

Amanda: I am now, just promise we can be happy together now.

Steroids Man: We can, from now on your my number 1 priority ... (whispering) next to building a machine for a demon to ensure you stay alive

Amanda: What was that last bit?

Steroids Man: I'm horny.

[Wesley]

Seriously. The Manager is just the demonic equivalent of Steroids Man. I mean, why the hell would you rely on Steroids Man to build a machine to connect the demon world to Earth? Something is obviously going to go very wrong.

[Clarence]

It can't go wrong this time because of Amanda.

If Steroids Man fails, Amanda dies.

[Wesley]

I think is Steroids Man makes the thing, it will somehow go wrong. And maybe cause even more grief to The Manager. Also, if/when it does go wrong, and The Manager tries to get his revenge, THAT will go wrong! The same thing that made the machine go bad will cause the revenge plot to backfire.

[Clarence]

You and your theories

[Clarence]