Chapter 86 --> Demon Hunters

[Clarence]

Steroids Man is in some weird laboratory fighting with a guy in a lab coat over a metal brief case. The lab is badly destroyed and there's injured lab workers all over.

Steroids Man: Give me the plutonium man, just make this easy!

Lab worker: No, you can't! We need it for this experiment! Sure it's not government approved, but I know this will be for a good cause!

Steroids Man: But I need it more, just give it over I don't want to hurt anyone!

Lab worker: Too late for that!

They have a tug of war and Steroids Man gets mad and pushes the lab worker off a ledge inside the strange laboratory and he falls on some technology and a piece of metal pierces through his chest.

Steroids Man: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Steroids Man runs down to the injured worker who is clearly dying.

Steroids Man: Damn it man, I never wanted to kill anyone... I just wanted to get the plutonium and leave!

Lab worker: Steroids Man *cough* ... you were suppose to be a good guy....

Steroids Man: I am a good-guy! I'm trying to save my wife...... by working for a demon....

The lab worker reaches into his pocket and hands his wallet to Steroids Man.

Lab worker: Do me a favour....

Steroids Man: What....

Lab worker: Tell my wife and son I love them very much..... *choke* *dies*

Steroids Man has a tear in his eye and leaves without taking the plutonium with him.

Steroids Man flees the scene as The Manager uses his powers to erase the memory of the surviving lab workers.... he can't have Steroids Man get legal troubles cause he needs him.

Steroids Man is driving fast down the road and is very upset. The Manager projects himself into the front passenger seat.

The Manager: You have to go back! You left the plutonium behind!

Steroids Man: I don't care!

The Manager: You know we need it to build my machine, do I have to push Amanda down another flight of stairs? Or maybe off a building?

Steroids Man: smurf OFF!!!!! I killed a man today!

The Manager: You used to kill people all the time without a second thought, remember the roid rages?

Steroids Man: I've changed, I want to do good. I know helping you is wrong, but innocent people shouldn't have to suffer because of me!

The Manager: Listen....

Steroids Man: NO! You listen! Leave me alone for a while!

Steroids Man pulls up to a strange house, gets out and knocks on the door and a woman answers.

Woman: Hello?

Steroids Man: Hello .... there...

Woman: You're Steroids Man, right? From the TV?

Steroids Man: Yes, listen.... I have something to tell you.

Woman: What is it? (sad look in her eyes)

Steroids Man: I'm very sorry.....

Woman: For what?

Steroids Man: Your husband.... I'm afraid he died....

Woman: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The son rushes to the door and the woman braces herself against the wall.

Woman: WHAT HAPPENED!!!???

Steroids Man: I'm so sorry... he fell off a ledge... I couldn't save him.

Kid: Why not? ..... you're suppose to be a hero........ why would you let my Dad die!

Steroids Man: I'm sorry!!!! Before he died... he wanted me to tell you he loved you both very much.

The woman falls to her knees.

Steroids Man: I have to get out of here.... this is too real for me!

Steroids Man begins to walk away as the woman begins to cry loudly and the kid runs up to Steroids Man and begins punching his back with no effect. Steroids Man is very upset and gets in the car and drives off.

Steroids Man: What have I done? I'm a MONSTER!!

Steroids Man drives up to the town's biggest church and gets out and walks towards the entrance.

Steroids Man: I need to talk to a priest ... or something, see if I can repent.

The Manager: Don't go in there!

Steroids Man: LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!

The Manager: I'm WARNING you!!!!

Steroids Man runs inside and shuts the door.... looking around he can't see or hear The Manager.

Steroids Man: Manager?

--silence

Steroids Man: Could it be? Could the manager not be able to follow me in here?

Steroids Man goes into a confession booth and sits down.

Steroids Man: Oh father.... I've done something TERRIBLE! Worse than that time I took DVD's of movies I didn't like and shoved them between my bottom cheeks and put them back into their packages at Wal-mart!

Priest (Hidden behind wall): Tell me about it my son.

Steroids Man: Well... ok... you remember that time a giant Godzilla like demon stomped throughout the city right? (End of Season 3)
Suddenly a wall slides down and a very intense looking priest reaches over and touches Steroids Man on the shoulders.

Steroids Man: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Priest: This demon you speak of, what of him!?

Steroids Man: Well .... he's still alive as a ghost or something... and he's making me do evil things!

Priest: I knew he was still alive!

Steroids Man: Huh!

Priest: You must come with me at once!

The priest presses some buttons in the confessional and Steroids man and the Priest descend to a secret basement area deep in the ground.

Steroids Man: What the heck is this???

Priest: Come with me!

The priest takes Steroids Man into a secret room deep deep under the church filled with strange weapons and bibles and holy artifacts.

Steroids Man: Ok, tell me what's going on!

Priest: Ok, allow me to introduce us.... we are THE DEMON HUNTERS!!!

Steroids Man: That's not such an exciting name.....

Priest: We are far too busy hunting demons to come up with a better name!

Steroids Man: But if you announce yourself as the demon hunters then the demons will know you're coming from miles away!

Fat guy: Who is this guy?

Priest: Ok everyone, this is Steroids Man.

Steroids Man: Hey....

Priest: My name is Caleb and I am the leader of this group and I have the most experience with Demons, the four members of my group are --

- Stone: A big big guy with a beard who was a former x-wrestler with a Christian theme.

- Goldy: A man who is wearing a gold trench coat and gold fedora who uses a bow staff as a weapon

- Wild Cat: A woman with long straight hair who has some sort of claw weapons on her hands, like long sharp metal claws

- Tuffy - A Woman with short blond hair who specializes in hunting vampires.

Steroids Man: Ummmm you people are weird, can I go home now?

Caleb: No! Tell us all what you said earlier.

Steroids Man: You know this while confession booth thing was a lot less private then I was lead to believe.

Stone: Why is this guy here again?!?

Caleb: Because, he is working for the demon we have been looking for!

Goldy: You mean the one who is referred too as "The Master"?

Steroids Man: Yeah... he talks to me all the time... so you guys know him?

Tuffy: Yes, we have been tracking him for quite some time, we figured he was still alive somehow....

Goldy: It must be fate that brought you to us so we could find him!

Wild Cat: MEOW

Caleb: We have learned quite a bit about him, apparently he is thousands of years old and very powerful! We even found a missing excerpt from the bible where he got into a fist fight with Jesus!

Steroids Man: He got into a fist fight with Jesus???

Caleb: Yes, he was very weak back then and defeated easily, but apparently the fight was very epic.

Stone: But Jesus POWER BOMBED HIM STRAIGHT TO H - E - Double L !!!

Caleb: We have tracked him for the last thousand years, from what we learned he is very powerful and is constantly plotting to enslave humanity... he must be stopped!

Goldy: And with you, we finally have a chance to stop him once and for all!

Steroids Man: It's not that easy.... first off he's a ghost and he's trying to return to this world, that's what I'm helping him do, build a machine to return.

Tuffy: It's ok, even as a ghost we have special weapons to defeat him!

Goldy: We can get him like TODAY.

Stone: And we'll PILE-DRIVE him into oblivion!!!

Steroids Man: But there's more... he's using my bride to be against me....

Caleb: Ok, here's the plan. You keep this demon busy for a few hours and we'll go to your home and turn one of your rooms into an official church. From there we'll make sure your woman is safe inside the church where this demon can't harm her, and we'll ambush him and all attack him together. Give us your address.

Steroids Man gives them the information they need.

Steroids Man: Ok... she'll be home in a few hours.... she knows about the demon thing....

Caleb: Ok, let's do this!

Stone: And if this demon asks what you were doing in here this whole time, tell him you were taking a severe bowel movement.

Steroids Man: I been in here for about 20 minutes...

Stone: It's believable! Just keep him away from your home for a few hours so we can set this all up!

~~~~

Steroids Man leaves the church and gets back in his car.

The Manager: What the hell were you doing in there?!?!

Steroids Man: I was taking a crap.

The Manager: Don't you EVER enter a church again, do you understand me?

Steroids Man: Fine!

The Manager: Now go back and get that plutonium!

Steroids Man: No... I can't go back there, the police are probably there now! Just give me something else to do on your list and we'll get plutonium later.

The Manager: Grrrrr.....

~~~~

As Steroids Man keeps The Manager distracted, the demon hunters go to the mansion and begin to convert one of the rooms into a church. They replace regular windows with stain glass windows and do some quick and minor construction.

Phil: Ummm.... who are you guys and what are you doing?

Caleb: Don't worry about us, Steroids Man sent us!

Phil: But what.... what is going on?

Stone: SILENCE!!!!

Phil: Whatever.....

~~~

The demon hunters have completed their church room and Amanda comes home from her job as chief of police. When she is about to go to her room she is greeted by the demon hunters.

Amanda: Who.... are you people?

Tuffy: Come here we can explain.

They guide her to the church room.

Caleb: Steroids Man sent us to stop the demon that's after him.

Amanda: Ok... right....

Caleb: You have to stay in here while we go out and fight him, he can't harm you in here.

Amanda: Ok, but is this going to take long, I really wanted to relax tonight.

Caleb: We'll do our best to cast this demon out as fast as possible!

The demon hunters leave and shut the door and Amanda is alone with nothing to do...

Amanda: So..... this is my life now.... it would be nice if I at least had a book to read in here....

Amanda finds a Bible.

Amanda: Alright....

~~~~~~~~~~~

Steroids Man comes home bickering with The Manager which only he can see. They enter the kitchen where the demon hunters are.

Caleb: Is he with you?

Steroids Man: Yes....

Caleb: NOW!!!!

Stone throws a device of some kind which illuminates the room a red colour and reveals to everyone The Manager.

The Manager: What is this???

Steroids Man: You're going down TODAY Manager!

The Manager: You fool!

Caleb: He looks even more evil than I imagined!

Tuffy shoots at The Manager with a weapon of some kind that traps The Manager's spirit with some kind of gold energy net. The Manager struggles for a second but breaks free of the net.

Caleb: Uh oh....

They shoot at him with various holy weapons but nothing seems to have any effect.

The Manager: YOU FOOLS!!!! YOUR WEAPONS CAN'T HURT ME!!!

The Manager's eyes glow red and he shoots a red thunder bolt at Stone which cuts a hole through his body and kills him.

Phil enters the room.

Phil: What the hell is going on here?

The Manager waves his arm and a great wind sends everyone crashing down and Phil falls down the steps and hits his head hard on the floor. Steroids Man is on his knees watching as The Manager uses his powers to force a drawer full of knives open and they all stick in Wild Cat's back, killing her. The Manager then moves the fridge with his mind and it crushes Tuffy.

Caleb: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Goldy gets it next when a microwave and toaster come flying at him from opposite ends crushing his head. Everyone of the demon hunters is dead except for Caleb.

Caleb gets blown out the window and lands on the cement driveway.

The Manager turns around and looks at Steroids Man.

Steroids Man: Ummmm.....

The Manager: YOU! You betrayed me!

Steroids Man: I ummmmm ahhhhh

The Manager: Amanda will suffer for what you've done!

Steroids Man: Good luck getting her, she's safely secure in a church room!

The Manager: That's your plan? To keep her in a church room for ever? What kind of quality of life is that? Does she even have a bathroom?

Steroids Man: .... shazam!.

The Manager: All I have to do is wait, WahaAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The Manager disappears and the robot enters the room.

Robot: WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!?!? SO MANY DEAD BODIES!!!

Steroids Man: Ummm..... oh no, PHIL!!!!

They rush downstairs and see Phil is out cold.

Steroids Man: I think he's ok.... he's still breathing....

Robot: WHAt'S GOING ON?

Steroids Man: No time to explain, but here's what I need you to do. Take these dead bodies and send them back to the church for a proper burial....

Robot: WHA...

Steroids Man: Just do it!!!

~~

The robot takes the bodies and sneaks them back to the church and drives off. Everyone is dead except for Caleb who wakes up and realizes what's happened.

Caleb: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO They're all dead..... it's all my fault! I had no idea he would be so strong!

~~

Steroids Man crudely throws Phil into his bed.

Steroids Man: Where the hell is Doug?

Steroids Man goes to Doug's room who's drinking Jack Daniels whiskey straight.

Steroids Man: What are you doing?

Doug: I have a mop for a leg, let me drink!

Steroids Man: I think Phil is in a coma or something, you have to take care of him.

Doug: No.

Steroids Man: You suck!

Doug: What it is motherfucker, now shut my door and let me drink!

~~~

Steroids Man goes inside the church room to meet Amanda. Steroids Man has a very sad and disappointed look on his face.

Amanda: Hey Steroids Man, have you ever read this (The Bible). It's surprisingly captivating!

Steroids Man: I failed....

Amanda: What?

Steroids Man: Those demon hunter people... they're all dead....

Amanda: WHAT!?!!

Steroids Man: I'm afraid you can never leave this room....

Amanda: WHAT?!?!?

Steroids Man: And on top of everything else, you lost your hearing!!!

Amanda: I can't live in this room my whole life you fool!

Steroids Man: I'm sorry....I'll figure something out, I promise!

Amanda: Steroids Man!

Steroids Man leaves to seek advise.

~~~~

Steroids Man is on top of Phil in his bed bouncing up and down.

Steroids Man: Wake up damn it, I need you to help me, you're so good at thinking!!!

Steroids Man gets a boom-box and plays it at maximum volume right in Phil's face.

Steroids Man: WAKE UP!!!!

The loud music echoes through the house.

Amanda is in the church room very sad and confused.

Amanda: What is going on!!??!?!?

From outside the door she hears Steroids Man calling to her.

Amanda: Steroids Man?

Amanda peeks her head out the doorway.

The Manager (Using Steroids Man's voice): Amanda.... come in the kitchen and hurry!

Amanda comes to the kitchen to see the destruction.

Amanda: What happened in here!?

Suddenly plates come flying out from the cupboards and smack Amanda all over, knocking her unconscious and cutting her up.

The Manager: There, that should show Steroids Man who's in charge!

The Robot enters the room.

Robot: NOW WHAT HAPPENED??!?!

The robot looks around but sees nothing so he changes different frequencies and sees The Manager.

Robot: MASTER?

The Manger: Wait..... you can see me?

Robot: YES.... YES I CAN.

The Manager: And you are programmed to obey me? Even though you wanted to kill me before? (See season 3 - My Robot Enemy)

Robot: MY PROGRAMMING HAS BEEN ALTERED SINCE THEN AND IT APPEARS I HAVE BEEN RESET TO OBEY YOU MY MASTER!

The Manager: Good... I may need you later depending on how my plan works out.... so listen to me carefully....

~~~~

Steroids Man missed all the commotion cause he was busy trying to wake Phil and goes back to the church room.

Steroids Man: Amanda.... she's GONE!!!

Steroids Man looks for her and finds her in the kitchen on the floor cut up and hurt badly.

Steroids Man: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT HAPPENED?!?!1

The Manager: She's ok, this was only an example to remind you who's in charge.

Steroids Man: You monster!

The Manager: You're the monster, by making this difficult you keep putting Amanda's life in danger.... just play along and everything will be fine.

Steroids Man is crying and feels very defeated.

The Manager: Don't forget, I can be your friend or your enemy. Remember how I actually saved Amanda's life from the snow storm and from the evil blue man? Wouldn't you rather have that guy by your side?

Steroids Man gives The Manager an evil look.

The Manager: So, are you going to help me get my task done so you and Amanda can live happily ever after or what?

Steroids Man: On one condition!

The Manager: You're not in a position to give conditions.

Steroids Man: I don't want to kill anyone else or do evil deeds while helping you.

The Manager: What do you propose?

Steroids Man: If you need plutonium for example let me steal it from terrorists, not innocent lab people.

The Manager: What makes you think I'll go along with that?

Steroids Man: I assume you want your device built as fast and effortless as possible, this way we both get what we want. I want to be a hero and take from criminals not the innocent!

The Manager: Fine, just so happens I know where there's an even better supply of plutonium for you to acquire! I will come back shortly to begin your next assignment!

The Manager disappears and Amanda wakes up.

Steroids Man: I'm so sorry baby.....

Amanda: Steroids Man.... when will this all end so we can just live our lives?

Steroids Man: Soon baby, I'll get this all sorted out very soon!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We cut to a large ship in the ocean..... a terrorist has made a deal with a very over-weight man in a metal mask.

Fat masked guy: Excellent, with this plutonium I can finally prepare to build a weapon to KILL STEROIDS MAN!!!!!




~~~~

[Wesley]

This makes me wonder.... what dimension does The Manager live in, and how is he able to see into this dimension? Fascinating.

[Clarence]

Dimension K

[Clarence]

BTW, I think the Manager has become far more powerful than he ever was considering the influence he has on our realm when he isn't even in it.