Chapter 125 --> The Retirement Party

[Clarence]

125th episode milestone + 3 year anniversary and finale!

Amanda comes home now showing a slight baby bump. She looks around in shock at what she sees.

Amanda: Baby!?!

Steve comes into the room covered in stains.... there's broken watermelon all over.

Amanda: What ... the hell happened in here?

Steve: I'm practicing to be a Dad.... there's been a few ... hurdles along the way....

Amanda: You smashed a lot of watermelons to become a Father?!?!?!

Steve: No.... it wasn't like that..... let me explain....

##Flashback

Steve has a watermelon wrapped in a tiny blanket.

Steve (to Phil): This is a great idea, right Phil? If I can carry this watermelon around all day and not break it, than I should be able to care for a baby!

Phil: ... sure .. why not?

Phil begins sweeping up the living room while whistling as he's doubling as replacement hero and janitor.

Steve gets up and slips on a discarded pizza slice and the watermelon goes flying out of his hands and smashes into a wall and explodes.

Steve: Oh no! What have I done!?!!??

Phil: *sigh* I can't get this place cleaned up fast enough.

Steve: Damn it Phil, I'm leaving you the mansion when I retire tomorrow and move to a fabulous vacation island somewhere to spend the rest of my life with my wife and son.

Phil: You still don't know the gender of the baby....

Steve: Damn it man we need more watermelons!

Steve goes out to the closest grocery store and buys out ALL the watermelons. He now has a room full of watermelons in blankets.

Steve: There. There's NO WAY I can kill all these babies!

Steve grabs a watermelon and instantly drops it.

Steve: Oh come on now! That one was slippery, I'm not counting it!

Steve spends the rest of the day randomly tripping and crushing watermelons, or crashing into walls or other things. Sometimes he even slips on the remains of previous watermelons when crushing new watermelons. Other times he trips on one of the cats. He keeps track of how many watermelon he destroyed by using a golfing score sheet.

We later see Steve in a motorized wheel chair moving around while holding a watermelon as he runs into Phil.

Phil: ....what the hell are you doing?

Steve: There's no way I can trip and drop the watermelon if I'm not walking!

Phil: So..... when you're a real Dad you're just going to go around holding your child in a motorized wheelchair?

Steve: Maybe I should break my legs for real to be more legits.

Phil: Umm.... why is there a knife in the watermelon?

Steve looks down and screams.

Steve: HOW THE smurf DID THAT HAPPEN!?!?!?!

Steve cries and eats some watermelon.

Phil: So... now you're eating the watermelon?

Steve: Spending all day smashing watermelons has made me hungry... and there seems to be plenty watermelon around......

Suddenly the doorbell rings.

Steve: OH shazam!! It's Amanda!

Steve runs to the door to see she already let herself in.

Amanda: Baby?!?

Steve comes into the room covered in stains.... there's broken watermelon all over.

Amanda: What ... the hell happened in here?

Steve: I'm practicing to be a Dad.... there's been a few ... hurdles along the way....

///end flashback

Amanda: I know this part!

Steve: Oh yeah.

Amanda: Ok ... listen baby. We are very wealthy. We are going to give you some baby care courses.

Steve: I took one of those YEARS ago.

Amanda: .... you did?

Steve: Yeah, they give you a training baby doll that you stick a key in the back to make it stop crying. Check this out.

Steve pulls out some really pointy keys.

Steve: I got some razor sharp keys we can use on our kid when he's crying!

Amanda: What the smurf!!!??! You're talking about those electronic baby dolls they give out in some of those baby care courses?? The ones that have a key which you use to stop it from crying!!! You don't actually stick a key in a REAL baby!!

Steve: Right... right... right... times have changed... it's all digital now, right? Is there some kind of a swipe card involved?

Amanda: Ok... let's sit down and have a very long conversation.

Steve: Ok! I can't wait to show my Dad how much of a better Dad I'm going to be!

~~~~~~

It's the night of the retirement party. They rented out a big open room at the ground floor of a fancy hotel and set up round tables for everyone. They have a DJ and stage area for Steve to make the announcement and introduce the new hero. Everyone important is here and others have been invited from all over town. Even the cats are here!

There are even cameramen for news stations who are about to film this event live when it starts.

Steve and Amanda are going around talking to people before it starts. There is a lot of drinking and conversation going on and people are having a good time.

Ryan: CONGRATS ON THE RETIREMENT BUDDY!!!!

Steve (drinking a beer): Son of a jabberwocky you're still alive?

Ryan: OF COURSE I AM BUDDY! I EVEN BROUGHT MY FRIENDS, FRANKIE AND DAN HERE!!!!

Frankie: hey dere rea berk ... good

Dan: MY balloon knot!!!!!

Steve (calmly): You guys need to leave.

Ryan: WHAT DID YOU SAY BUDDY?

Suddenly Phil appears next to Steve.

Phil: I thought you quit drinking.

Steve: No... I quit drinking insanely. I'm still going to drink a little bit like at special occasions like MY RETIREMENT PARTY! I'm just not going to get crazy drunk. Amanda's cool with it.

~

Amanda is at Dougette and the robots table.

Amanda: So how is married life?

Dougette: Great! We are actually doing really good and are even making some money!

Robot: TELL HER ABOUT OUR WONDERFUL BUSINESS!

Dougette: You got to hear about it!

Amanda (smiling and taking a drink): OK!

Dougette: Ok, you know how people love kittens right?

Robot: HUMANS LOVE KITTENS!!

Dougette: Wouldn't you like to have a kitten forever?

Amanda: Well... they're cute... what are you getting at?

Dougette: Our business allows people to own a kitten forever!

Robot: THAT'S RIGHT! THE HUMANS WILL BUY A KITTEN AND TRADE IT IN WHEN IT GETS TOO OLD FOR A NEW KITTEN!

Dougette: Exactly! When your cat is no longer cute and adorable, you bring him to us and swap it out for a new kitten!

Amanda (looking concerned): What do you mean?

Dougette: Your kitten gets old, you give him to us and we give you a new kitten. Straight trade.

Amanda: But what happens to the old cats you take back?

Dougette: We breed the cats that are able too and make more kittens...

Robot: AND THE REST GO INTO THE FURNACE TO KEEP THE PLACE WARM!

Amanda (choking on her Pepsi): You ... you people are terrible!

Amanda goes to find Steve.

Dougette: Stuck up Shay.

~

Steve is still talking to Phil.

Steve: So.... you are sure you're ready for any .... trouble?

Phil: What makes you think there will be trouble?

Steve: This whole event has trouble written all over it. Somebody is going to try to kill me tonight.. maybe a few people.

Phil: You're paranoid.

Steve: You sure you can protect us and really be the replacement hero?

Phil: In my new form, I can't be hurt. No conventional weapons can penetrate my solid hologram form.

Steve: Ok then. Just don't smurf this up for me, I need to retire!

Phil: How am I going to smurf this up?

Steve: All my previous replacements died horribly and if you die I'm going to be screwed so hard!

Phil: Again, I'm basically indestructible and there's backups of me at the mansion and in the robot.

~~~

Show the Mansion completely gone and a huge smoking crater.... it was just blown to bits!!!

~~~

Back at the party, Amanda runs to join Steve and Phil.

Amanda: We got to get the cats out of here!

Steve: Ok Baby, let's put them in our limo.

Phil: What...

Steve: We really like out cats.

Amanda: Ok, let's do that and get this event started!

They gather the cats Max, Conky and Kiera and place them in the limousine and then take the stage.

Steve is approaching the podium as Amanda sits to his right and Phil to his left.

Steve (tapping the microphone and causing feedback): Hello everyone! Welcome to my retirement party!!!

Everyone cheers!

Steve: We are going to start with a tribute to the fallen heroes....

Suddenly the lights go off and a screen lights up and we hear the following song: Cutting Crew - (I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ua26qTEK25U

As this song plays we see the following pictures stay on screen for about 10 seconds each:

-Pencil Man sitting in a chair with a beer bottle and empties all over
-Thunder Bolt and Sparky strangling each other
-Shotgun Harry holding a bunch of guns
-Ryan in the hospital looking sad waiting for the doctor from when he blew his voice out - captioned "Not dead, but is an balloon knot"

Ryan: WOOT!!!! THAT'S ME ON THE SCREEN!!!

- OCD Man and a caption "Not dead, but really sucked"
- Super Persuasive Guy with an intense stare
- And finally Phil with a caption that says "I wish this guy was dead but unfortunately I need him so I can retire"

Phil looks really hurt.

The music stops and the screen goes dark as the lights turn back on and people applaud.

Amanda (whispering to Steve): Why did you put a picture of that intense guy who made us make pretzels??

Steve: I was looking through the pictures and we had one of him and he looked really intense and I was scared not too.

Steve and Amanda continue to whisper to each other on stage as the crowd gets confused and restless and someone clears their throat loudly. Steve and Amanda look over to see Stan's parents.

Stan's Mom : ... where's our son? Why isn't Stan in the tribute???

Steve: Oh ... well... Stan's death kind of hits a little too close to home for me.... It's too upsetting.

Stan's Dad: IT HITS TOO CLOSE TO HOME FOR YOU!?!??!! HE WAS MY smurf SON!!!

Steve: I had a special place in my heart for Stan and....

Stan's Dad draws a gun.

Steve: Oh shazam!....

Stan's Dad: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

Steve (to Phil): See? I told you someone would try to kill me tonight.

Phil: You make so many enemies!

Stan's Dad: DIEEEEEE!!!

Stan's Dad stands up and begins to fire as Steve squints and Phil gets in between and absorbs all the bullets. Everyone gasps in awe. Stan's Dad is shocked and confused.

Phil: GET OUT OF HERE!!!

Stan's Dad: Come on honey!

Stan's parents run away and there's an awkward silence as Phil concentrates and the bullets inside of him are pushed out on their own and fall to the floor.

Steve: Well... this is a good moment to introduce who the new hero is.... your new hero is Phil!

Steve points to Phil and he waves to everyone.

Phil (making himself louder and not needing a microphone): Hello everyone!

*awkward silence before random people start yelling*

Random Guy: THIS is our new hero?

Random Woman: Some random guy?

Phil: No... I'm an indestructible solid hologram!

Random Woman 2: What does that even mean?

Random Guy 2: You don't even have a super hero name?

Phil: No.... I'm just Phil....

Random Guy 2: You at least need a costume or something!

Phil: I ... ummm.....

Steve: Ok guys, listen. I know he doesn't look like much... just some dork in a business suit... but ummmm.... yes, ok he sucks but....

Phil looks really sad.

Steve: Amanda, come take the microphone and help me compliment this uncomplementable man!

As Amanda gets next to Steve on the podium, the doors in the back bust open.

Steve: Oh now what?

Mechanical Pencil Man: TIME TO DIE STEVE!!!

Mechanical Pencil Man gets closer to the stage and is carrying some kind of high tech weapon.

Mechanical Pencil Man: I'm going to kill each and every one of you with my high powered LEAD PENCIL RAY!!!

Steve: Oh shazam!... Phil?

Phil: I'm on it.

As Phil is about to step off stage, SUDDENLY Mechanical Pencil Man screams! Everyone looks as a bloody fist emerges from his stomach. Someone with incredible strength has punched their arm right through him.

Mechanical Pencil Man: *choke* ... you ..... suck!

Mechanical Pencil Man falls to the ground dead the we reveal who the bloody fist belongs too .... Ultra Man!

Ultra Man looks like his old self, not crazy and very cleaned up with his traditional costume on sporting a large letter "U" on his chest. His arm is covered in Mechanical Pencil Man's blood though.

Ultra Man: Never fear everyone! Ultra Man is here! And I just saved the day!

Everyone in the room applauds.

Dougette: I thought I cut off your ring finger!

Ultra Man holds up his hand and shows he's wearing his magical power ring... but it looks like someone else's finger is sewn on.

Steve (monotone): Oh no... don't replace Phil whatever you do.

Ultra Man takes the stage and shoves Phil aside.

Ultra Man: Everyone rejoice! Your new hero is here! Far better than Steroids Man ever thought of being!

Everyone cheers loudly.

Steve (To Phil): Well, I guess you're out friend. This new mysterious hero has come to take your spot and save my bottom!

Ultra Man: Wait... what?

Steve (announcing to crowd): Everyone welcome this new hero... ummmm.....

Steve puts his hand over the microphone and addresses Ultra Man.

Steve: What was your name again?

Ultra Man: ARE ... YOU ... smurf ... SERIOUS!?!?!

Steve: Yeah, you never gave me your name pal.

Ultra Man: HOW DARE YOU NOT REMEMBER ME!?!?!!?!?! I LITERALLY JUST ANNOUNCED MY NAME MOMENTS AGO!!! YOU ARE SUCH A PIECE OF shazam!!!!

Steve: I beg your pardon?

Ultra Man picks up Steve and begins to strangle him. Before Ultra Man can access his super strength and do some serious damage, Phil comes up from behind and grabs each of Ultra Man's arms and pulls them apart, releasing Steve.

Ultra Man: WHAT THE HELL!?!?!

Phil now has Ultra Man's arms stretched out as he holds on to the wrists and is behind Ultra Man.

Phil: Time for you to leave!

Ultra Man: I don't think so!

Ultra Man jerks his head back and headbutts Phil who releases the hold and rolls back and gets to his feet in a fighting stance addressing Ultra Man.

Steve is sitting down on the stage as Amanda checks on him.

Amanda: Are you ok babe?

Steve: *choke* I think so.... man being strangled sucks when you're not on steroids!

Ultra Man (to Phil): You want to tangle with me you little jabberwocky!!! Let's get it on!

Phil: You don't stand a chance, I downloaded and mastered every form of martial arts!

Ultra Man: You are such a nerd!

Phil and Ultra Man exchange punches and don't really hurt each other until Phil Breaks Ultra Man's arm and takes his ring.

Ultra Man: SON OF A jabberwocky, I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!!!

Phil holds Ultra Man's ring high up in the air as the now skinny Ultra Man jumps and tries to reach it.

Phil: Who's the nerd now?

Ultra Man: You suck!

Phil: You clearly don't deserve to command the mysterious powers this ring seems to provide... and it should never fall into the wrong hands...

Ultra Man: ...what are you going to do?

Phil: This!

Phil takes the ring and crushes it in his hand and there's a bright flash of light as it crumples up and he tosses it away.

Ultra Man: NO!!!!!!! THAT WAS ALL I HAD LEFT OF MY HOME PLANET!

Phil: Take him out of here!

Security guards for the hotel come and take Ultra Man away who is left skinny and crying and breathing some kind of inhaler.

Steve: shazam!... you broke his ring!

Phil: I know!

Steve: I could have used that you idiot!

Phil: ....

Steve: I don't want to be a super hero again, but it could have been protection for me and my wife.

Amanda: You screwed up again Phil!

Phil's lower lip trembles and suddenly something else happens. Steve's Dad comes running to the stage!

Alvin (Steve's Dad): Son!!! Oh my goodness, son!!!

Steve: ... Daddy?

Alvin: Yes! Oh son! I thought you died in that horrible car fire .... a second time.....

Steve: ....

Alvin: But then I heard about this retirement party ... and ran late but I'm here for you now and will NEVER leave you again.....

**KABOOM!!!!**

A wall explodes on the side of the room and people scatter. The cameramen filming this also run away meaning this is no longer being filmed. As the smoke starts to clear, Steve sees his Father once again leaving him and running away.

Alvin: OH shazam! THAT WAS A LOUD EXPLOSION!!! MY SON IS PROBABLY DEAD!!! *cries*

Steve: Daddy I'm not dead!!!

Alvin (in the distance running faster): THE EXPLOSION HAS MADE ME TEMPORARILY DEAF AND I'M SO FULL OF GRIEF!!!

Steve looks really sad and Amanda consoles him.

Amanda: You're really better off without him.

Phil: Aren't you guys concerned at all about that explosion!??!

Steve: No... really we've been through so many explosions that we've been kind of desensitized.

Amanda: Yeah, explosions don't really do it for me either.

Mysterious voice: OH WILL YOU BOTH SHUT UP ALREADY!!!

The smoke finally clears and we reveal Metal Face looking more menacing and powerful than ever and holding some kind of futuristic looking rocket launcher.

Steve: Oh son of a jabberwocky, didn't you die? A smurf burning mansion collapsed on you!

Metal Face: TRUE EVIL NEVER DIES!!!

Phil: I told you he wasn't dead.

Steve: Oh shut your face!

Metal Face: SAY GOOD-BYE TO YOUR PRECIOUS REPLACEMENT, STEROIDS MAN!!!

Metal Face fires the futuristic rocket launcher looking weapon at Phil which shoots a bright ray of energy at him! Phil takes a few steps back while absorbing this energy and sparks and smoke fly all over!

The weapon stops and Phil is left smoking and sparking.

Phil: NOOOOOO!!!

Suddenly Phil disappears only leaving a burnt motherboard looking thing that falls to the ground and smokes some more.

Steve: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!??!?

Amanda: I can't believe it! Phil!

Steve: You killed my replacement! Now how the smurf am I going to retire!?

Metal Face: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!

Steve: Well the joke's on you because there's a backup of Phil's program at the mansion!

Metal Face: I destroyed the mansion! There's nothing left but a smoking crater!!

Steve: Damn!

Amanda: Well there's another backup in the robot!

Show Dougette and the robot still hanging out at their table drinking despite most people left at the explosion.

Robot: NO... I HAVE NO BACKUPS OF PHIL!

Amanda: But....

Robot: I DELETED THE PHIL BACKUP TO MAKE MORE ROOM FOR PORN FILES!

Dougette: You balloon knot!

Amanda: Then....

Steve: ....Phil really is dead...er...

Steve and Amanda look down at the burnt and smoking motherboard lying in Phil's spot that used to project his hologram.

Metal Face: Good... this is so good! I have been waiting specifically for your retirement party to kill you! It's going to be glorious! I will FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY Get to watch you die!

There's an awkward silence as nothing happens except for a blue light on Metal Face's fancy weapon moving around the device.

Metal Face: .... this weapon takes a while to reload...

Amanda: What are we going to do?

Steve: I can't do nothing without my steroids powers! That ring would have been really nice right now! Stupid Phil...

Amanda looks really sad and they hug.

Steve (To Metal Face): Can I make one last request before you kill me?

Metal Face: What?

Steve: Let my pregnant wife go! She doesn't need to be involved in this! It's me you really want!

Amanda: NOOOO!!!

Metal Face: What.... you're going to be the father of something!?!

Steve: Yes...

Metal Face: That makes me want to kill her even more to ensure your offspring never survive!!!

Steve: Damn it, sorry babe.

Amanda: This is terrible!

Steve and Amanda hug and cry and wait and wait....

Steve: What's the hold up?

Metal Face: Sorry... this is an amazing weapon but hella slow!

Steve: Well we need something to do, because this is boring!

Metal Face: ....

Steve: I still don't understand how you're even still alive!

Metal Face: It was terrible.... your precious mansion collapses on me..... burning and burning... burning my burnt face even more! Thanks to my super strength from the super solder serum ... I couldn't die... all I could do was crawl through the burning wreckage!!

Steve: That sucks....

Metal Face: After I crawled away from the flames... I crawled into the woods... crawling for days and being attacked by wild animals.... at one point I crawled across a busy divided highway and got run over a bunch of times, breaking my legs... wolves gnawing at me... vultures pecking at me!!

Amanda: This is a terrible story...

Metal Face: Finally, FINALLY I made it to the professor's house!

Steve: The professor?

Metal Face: Yes. An evil professor has been helping me this whole time. He hates you almost as bad as I do! He nursed me back to health and gave me renewed super strength and this weapon, which by the way is almost ready to fire again!

Metal Face aims the weapon more forcefully at Steve and Amanda when..... some guy in a green costume and mask with a weed emblem walks in through the hole on the wall.

Weed Man: Hi guys.

Steve: ....hello?

Amanda: Isn't that one of the heroes who auditioned to replace you?

Steve: Maybe?

Metal Face: Get out of here weirdo!

Weed Man: Let me just smoke this joint....

Weed Man begins to smoke an already lit joint and everyone watches as he inhales slowly and seems to be really enjoying it.

Weed Man: Yeah... that's the good stuff.

Metal Face: Get out of here or I'll kill you!

Weed Man: I'm actually here to stop you man.

Metal Face: Ok, that's it!

Suddenly the spinning blue light on the weapon rotates faster and gets louder and Weed Man positions himself between Metal Face and Steve + Amanda.

Metal Face: I'm going to kill all of you!!

Weed Man casually pushes the weapon so it now aims at Metal Face's stomach and it goes off shooting an amazing ray of energy right through him and in the background destroying another wall!

Metal Face: shazam!!!!

Metal Face drops the weapon and falls to his knees with a huge hole in his belly.

Metal Face: I'm... dying...

Weed Man: Sorry dude.

Metal Face is grabbing onto his mask.

Metal Face: ...before I die....

Metal Face removes the mask exposing his hideous burned face.

Metal Face: .... REMEMBER MY HORRIBLE FACE!!!!!!

Metal Face collapses in a pool of blood and dies from the gaping hole in his stomach.

Amanda: You saved our life!

Steve: Who are you?

Weed Man: It's me.

Steve: ....ummmm

Weed Man: Oh right, the mask.

Weed Man removes his mask to reveal.... DAVE!!!!

Steve: Shut up!

Dave: Huh....

Steve: But you ... you went insane!

Dave: Oh you mean the other people living in my head? Maverick and Oceans Jeff and all them are gone.

Amanda: But you bit your hand off when you went crazy!

Dave: Check it out, I got hooked up with this cool robot hand that's also a lighter. (Dave shows everyone a metal hand)

Dave puts a joint in his mouth and moves his metal hand to his face, The tip of his finger flips open to reveal a flame that he uses to light the joint and then he flicks it back closed.

Steve: How....?

Mysterious voice off screen: Thanks to me!

Everyone looks over to see a crazy man in a lab coat with wild crazy long gray hair holding a similar weapon that Metal Face had.

There's an awkward silence.

Steve: Who the hell are you?

Mysterious Man: It's me.... WILLIAM!!

Even awkwarder silence.

Steve: Who the smurf are you???

William: You killed my father you balloon knot!

Dave: Come on man, this isn't cool. Let everyone go and smoke a joint.

William: No!

Amanda: Do you know this man?

Dave: Yeah... he's the one who fixed me up.

William: Exactly... let me tell you a story...

Steve: Son of a jabberwocky, why do people want to tell us stories before they kill us?

William: Before you killed my Father, Steroids Man, he invented the super soldier serum that turned Dave here into a super soldier... but it had a defect... it created multiple personalities and him go crazy!

Steve: I didn't kill your Dad.

Dave: Yeah... and neither did I... just throwing that out there.....

(Actually Dave did kill his Father when he was under the mindset of Maverick ... the cops blamed Steroids Man and William still doesn't know any better)

William: Anyway, I tried to take on my Father's work ... I thought I perfected the serum when I gave it to Metal Face ... but it still had side effects.... Metal Face at times took on multiple personalities ... but not as severe as Dave... something about Dave really made the multiple personalities more powerful....

Dave: Strange huh? *tokes*

William: Before Metal Face completed his long journey back to me from the woods after he tried to kill you last Christmas... Dave sought me out....

##Flashback##

William is at his lab when the door bell rings, he answers it to reveal Dave looking really crazy and homeless.

Dave: You got to help me!

William: Who are you!?

Dave (Different voice): Good day old chap, it's me Milford Bloomingdale of Sussex.

William: Huh?

Dave (Another voice): I'm Oceans Jeff! You're going to help me or I will kill you!

William: What the hell is going on???

Dave (Another voice still): It's ME!!! MAVERICK!!!

William: Gasp!

Dave (Now Dave): Please help me... too many people inside my head!

Dave grabs on William's lab coat and falls to his knees.

Dave (Child's voice): Please mister... it's too much for us all to live inside this pot head! It keeps getting worse and worse!

William: How the hell did you find me?

Dave (smart sounding voice): Thanks to me, Professor Pennyworth, the smartest and one of the newest of this young man's personalities. After much digging and research, we discovered you, the son of the man who created the serum that gave us super strength and created all the multiple personalities.

William: Ok, I'll help you!

William works tirelessly and around the clock and hooks Dave to machines and works on him. William researches the serum and finally sees the flaw that his Father missed.

William: Of course!

William injects Dave with a new and improved serum and waits for a minute.

William: How do you feel?

Dave: My head.... it feels really empty like it used to feel! *smokes joint*

William: Are the multiple personalities gone?

Dave: I think so.... now if only I could have my hand back....

William: I'll help you out with that too.

##End flashback##

William: I was so grateful you helped me perfect the super soldier serum, I helped you out and gave you a new hand. You even got to keep your super strength and lost your multiple personalities forever! But you had to smurf it all up by showing up here.... now you'll die like the rest of them!

William takes out a special syringe while keeping the weapon aimed at them.

William: This is the newest version of the super serum... it will make me 100 times more powerful than even Dave!

Steve: Wait... you didn't inject yourself with it yet?

William: No, I'm going to do it right now!

Amanda: That's dumb.

Steve: Yeah, you should have injected it before you came here.

William: It's not like you're going to be able to stop me from injecting it! You're way over there and I'm over here with a weapon. Now watch as I transform into an unstoppable killing machine and finally murder you all!!

As William moves the needle to his arm to do the injection, Dave does something awesome. Dave swings his arm and throws his metal detachable hand across the room at William and he drops the syringe and it shatters, at the same time William accidentally fires the weapon at the ceiling and a ray of energy destroys the roof and pieces fall down.

Just then the police arrive and shoot at William and he collapses. Dave quickly puts his mask back on before his identity is revealed.

Police Chief Jan: Is everyone Ok?

Amanda: Yeah..... what took you so long?

Steve: You know, we really should have had the cops here from the get go.

Police Chief Jan: Congratulations on your guys retirement by the way. You still off the crack Amanda?

Amanda: Of course I am.... I'm having a kid.

Police Chief Jan: Now that your life is cleaned up, you're welcome back at the police station any time.

Amanda: No thanks, I want to enjoy retirement with my hubby!

Steve (to Weed Man): So... you decided to become a super hero eh?

Weed Man: Yeah... I got really high and made this sweet costume after the professor man fixed me. I figured I got the super strength... and I want to make up for all the wrong I did as Maverick.

Steve: So you'll replace me so I can finally retire from this crap?

Weed Man: Of course I will pal.

Steve: Awesome. I just want to finally retire and move to a tropical paradise. You can have our mansion!

Weed Man: Sweet!

Amanda: Our mansion exploded.

Steve: Oh yeah .... well we'll buy you a new one.

Weed Man: Even Sweeter.

Amanda: Can I ask a favour?

Weed Man: Sure.

Amanda: Will you take care of our cats for us in the mansion we buy you until we finish our cruise and are settled into our new place?

Weed Man: Sure thing!

Ted: I don't know how I feel about this hero who promotes marijuana use to replace you.

Steve jumps and feels his heart as Ted the government guy is right behind him.

Steve: Oh will you just smurf right off!

Ted drops his jaw in shock.

Suddenly the Texas Tornado comes running in.

Texas Tornado (out of breath): Oh man... I just listened to all the messages you left me... Yeah... (gasp) ... I will be your replacement hero!

Steve: ... you're too late... we have Weed Man.

Texas Tornado: Weed Man?!!??!

Weed Man: Want some weed?

Texas Tornado: No I don't want any weed!

Weed Man: Ok, well I'm going to go ahead and have some.

Steve: *sigh* Ok, is there ANYBODY who wants ANYTHING else before I finally retire!?!?!

Some guy in a business suit and golden name tag comes in.

Hotel Owner: WHAT THE smurf DID YOU GUYS DO TO MY HOTEL!!?!?!!

Steve: Ok, there's that, anything else?

*silence*

Steve: Ok then, everybody but Dave and Amanda go smurf yourselves, I'm retired!

Steve and Amanda leave the hotel.

All that's left is A large hotel area that's destroyed with debris everywhere, holes in the walls and ceilings, A dead Metal Face, A dead Mechanical Pencil Man, some cops on the scene looking over William's lifeless body, Weed Man smoking a joint, the hotel owner crying, The Texas Tornado sitting down sad, Ted still in shock that Steve told him to "smurf right off" and Dougette and the robot still at their table drinking.

Dougette: Well this party smurf died really fast.

~~~~

epilogue:

Dave is wearing his Weed Man costume with the mask off hanging out on the couch inside his new mansion with the cats. Everyone seems very happy.

Dave: This is pretty sweet.

Dave hauls back on a large bong and has never been happier. Maverick, Oceans Jeff and all the other multiple personalities are gone forever!

~~~~

We show up close to the top of a cruise ship to see Steve and a slightly more pregnant Amanda on the end of it wearing leis and drinking tropical drinks. (Amanda's is non-alcoholic)

Steve: I love you so much my wife.

Amanda: I love you too!

Steve: I'm so happy to spend the rest of my life with you and our son and be retired and away from so many crazy and annoying things!

Amanda: Our new life together is going to be great!

They kiss with the sun behind them.



...The End