Chapter 142 --> The Settling of Cokima

[Clarence]

In what appears to be a jungle or an area ripe with nature and mysterious plants is actually a foreign planet .....

From the trees and into a clearing, our heroes emerge:

Steve carrying his daughter Samantha, A VERY pregnant Amanda, Weed Man and Max the cat.

They all look very tired and worn out and have sweaty and slightly tattered clothes.

Amanda: We've been wandering around for 2 hours now!!!! There's nothing on this stupid planet but awesome wonderful nature! And it's smurf HOT! Why is this planet so smurf HOT?!?!

Weed Man: Yeah, I'm not a fan of this planet either. Pretty Tho.

Weed Man takes a random large leaf off a plant and rolls it tight, lights it with the lighter built into his robot hand and smokes it.

Weed Man: None of these plants get me high at all....

Weed Man dips into one of his many secret pockets and grabs one of his joints.

Weed Man: .... but this shazam! will!

Steve: I'm so hungry ....

Amanda: You're hungry? YOU'RE hungry? I have a baby inside me so I'm double hungry and don't even try to compete with me!!!

Weed Man: Well .... Max isn't having a hard time at all....

Everyone looks down to see Max the cat is eating a lot of random plants and is having a great time.

Steve: Yeah ... but where's the people food???

Weed Man: Yeah ... it would have been sweet if we could have found a pizza place in here somewhere.

Amanda sits down and looks very defeated.

Amanda: There's nothing on this planet ... all we came across is never ending trees and plants and nothing that resembles food.... I don't think there's any life here.

Weed Man: Oh man ... what I wouldn't give for a bucket of cake right now.

Steve: That does sound pretty sweet!

Amanda: No it doesn't are you listening to yourself? What the hell is a "bucket of cake" ???

Steve: I don't know ... but son of a jabberwocky if it doesn't sound tasty!

~~~~~ They continue to wander around for another hour ~~~~

Amanda (out of breath): I got to stop.

Amanda and everyone rests, all even more sweaty in the hot planet and have even more tattered clothes from trudging through thick trees.

Amanda: Frig .... why are we in such bad shape? We've only been here for 3 hours and we look like we've been stranded here for weeks....

Steve: Hmmm... we do kind of suck.

Amanda: At this rate we won't survive to nightfall ... if this strange alien planet even has a night...

Weed Man: This place has to have a night ... otherwise where would the sun go?

Suddenly they hear rustling in the bushes. Everyone looks concerned! Max peeks up from eating more plants and looks very frightened. Little Samantha hugs Amanda tight! Weed Man smokes a joint and is oblivious. Steve gets ready to fight it.

Amanda (whispering): Baby....

Steve (whispering): shhhhhhh.....

What appears to be a pink creature moves around in the woods.

Steve (whispering): I'm gonna kill whatever that is and we're gonna eat supper tonight!

Steve reaches into his pocket and pulls out the magical ring of Mighty Man and places it on. Steve instantly grows twice his size and gets super strength!

Steve runs into the woods with a war cry and tackles the pink creature ... he then wrestles it out of the woods and gets it into a head-lock! Everyone watches as Steve holds onto this alien beast......

Amanda: Awww... it's really cute!

Samantha claps her hands in delight and even Max isn't scared and begins to eat the planet's vegetation joyfully.

Weed Man (excited): Dude .... that is a full on pink unicorn!!

Everyone watches as Steve has this pink creature submitted. It looks very sad. It's a small pink horse like alien with a horn that basically looks like a harmless and pink unicorn.

Amanda: Oh baby ... it's so beautiful!

Steve: We have to kill it!

Steve begins to choke it out from behind as the creature cries.

Amanda: No.... we need to find another option!

Steve: The other option is we starve to death!

Amanda: Ok .... *crying* ... just get it over with .....

Samantha sobs too and holds Amanda tight and Weed Man smokes extra joints from his reserve to combat the feelings he's having.

Steve: Sorry buddy ... now let's hear that snap .... damn you have a strong bone structure or something ....

Suddenly the pink alien unicorn thingy's eyes begin to glow and everyone can hear it's thoughts.

Pink Unicorn (Simply adorable voice): Please ..... pleeeease don't kill me!

Steve: OH shazam! IT'S SOME KIND OF TELEPATHIC CUTE PINK ALIEN UNICORN LOVABLE CREATURE THAT'S SENDING MESSAGES TO OUR BRAINS!!!

Everyone breaks out into tears about how sad this is and Weed Man smokes even more joints.

Weed Man: smurf man we're balloon knot!

Amanda: This is terrible!

Steve (bawling his eyes out): Come on buddy ... please just die already....

Pink Unicorn: I want to be your frrrriends.......

*SNAP*

Steve rips the Unicorn's head clean off it's body and blood rains down on everyone.

Everyone is devastated and emotionally drained. Another noise is heard in the woods and they see two very young pink unicorns looking on sadly who escape through the trees.

Steve: Oh, smurf me!

~~~~~

Nightfall does eventually happen shortly after .... everyone is gathered around a camp fire cooking and eating the unicorn like creature they killed earlier. They used some jerry rigged logs and etc to form a rotisserie for the creature and Weed Man is constantly rotating it around the fire. They also found a small amount of water near by.

Samantha sleeps a safe distance to the warmth of the fire in a bed made out of leaves and etc. Max keeps coming up and pawing at the meat on his hind legs.

Steve: No Max! Frig! Didn't you eat enough today?

Amanda looks very sad.

Amanda: What about Kiera .... and Conky?

Steve: Don't worry about them. We got outdoor cats remember? I left the door open when Ultra princess sophia came after us with that gun .... and not only that but we have the other windows left open. They will eventually branch out and find a new home, ok?

Amanda (sob): Ok....

Steve: Let's change the subject ... ummm ... Dave!

Weed Man: Yo.

Steve: Thank goodness for your lighter hand dealy! I don't know how we would have got this fire started otherwise.

Weed Man: Yeah man, I'm right awesome! And so is this friggin dope!

Weed Man smokes his weed enjoyably while Amanda feels her belly.

Amanda: Steve ... the baby is kicking!

Steve feels Amanda's belly and they share a happy moment.

Amanda (suddenly serious): Ummmm .... are we going to figure out how to give birth to this baby by ourselves?

Steve: Don't worry sweetheart! One way our another I'll find a way to get our son out of you.

Amanda: Not comforting .... also we don't know the gender yet, it's just like the first kid all over again.

Steve: Yes, but what are the chances I would have shot out another girl? Also I made you watch all those Rambo movies and etc ...

Amanda: *sigh*

Steve: Don't worry, even if we have 50 girls I'll love them all equally!

Amanda: You got fixed remember? We won't be having anymore kids.

Steve: Oh shazam! that's right! Damn... I was hoping we could have kids a lot and populate this planet to create our own wonderful society .....

Amanda: Let's just focus on the present right now baby ... seriously.

Steve stands up and tries to distract himself from the bleak situation they are in.

Steve: I'm going to build us a house.

Amanda: Sit down! We gotta eat already!

They all enjoy a glorious meal of alien unicorn meat.

Steve: Damn ... this is PHENOMENAL!!! I feel so much better about killing it now!

Weed Man: Yeah man, those cute little dudes are DELISH!

Amanda: Soooo juicy!!!

Samantha looks over with meat stains on her face.

Samantha: Yum!

Everyone: Awwwwwwww

Everyone looks over to see Max has pretty much eaten all his generous proportion of meat ....

Amanda: Guys ... does Max look like he gained weight ... just since we been on this planet?

Steve: Oh Amanda, you and your stories ....

Amanda zooms in on Max eating up all the meat with a passion while ominous music plays.

Weed Man: So .... what are we naming this planet?

Steve: Hmmm?

Weed Man: It's not Earth ... we have to call it somethin.

Amanda: That's a good idea ... let's see.

Steve: How about .... Earthy ... Junior ...

Amanda: Are you still wearing that magical ring that makes you stupid?

Steve: Oh yeah!

Steve takes off Mighty Man's ring.

Weed Man: Let's name it ...

Weed Man looks around and then looks up at the stars.

Weed Man: Cokima

Amanda: Why?

Weed Man: I don't know .... it just stoned enough that I feel it fits.

Weed Man takes a big haul off his joint.

Weed Man: It's also the first two letters of your cats' names.

(Conky Kiera Max)

Amanda: Oh yeah!

Everyone looks up at the stars.

Steve: ... I wonder which one is Earth?

Amanda rubs Steve's back to comfort him.

~~~ Later that night.

Smoke from the fire begins to diminish and the coals grow dim and an alien unicorn skeleton collapses.

Steve: Hey guys, our new house is done!

Everyone looks over and sees what Steve did with the aid his "Mighty Man" ring.

We all see a bunch of trees broken off at the base and piled up to form what resembles a shelter... but it looks very shady and unsafe.

Amanda: Ummmm ...

Steve: How much do you love it?

Suddenly a MAJOR earthquake hits and surprises everyone! Everyone hugs the ground and watches as Steve's shelter collapses! After a few minutes the earthquake ceases.

Weed Man: Guys you have to try this potent weed I found in the lining of my costume! It makes the whole planet shake!

We look over to see Steve with Max. Max is clung to his face with his fur and tail standing up! Steve has to pull Max off of him and he gets clawed up in the process.

Steve: We all felt that, it was an earthquake! This planet sucks bottom!

Samantha cries for a bit and then falls back asleep. Everyone looks exhausted and worn out from their first day on this strange planet.

Amanda: I'm just going to make a bed out of leaves and sleep out here.

Steve: Out in the open? What if enemies get us??

Amanda: There's nothing on this planet but wonderful pink unicorns ... and I'm exhausted ... good night.....

Steve: Alright .... goodnight.

Weed Man stretches and yawns: Me too!

Everyone just passes out from exhaustion.

~~~~

In the morning hot sun ... Weed Man wakes up and notices something.

Weed Man: Hey .... where's my hand?

Amanda wakes up too: Huh?

They see Steve with a new fire going and is using his shirt to fan the smoke.

Weed Man: Hey bro, can I have by hand back?

Steve: Oh sorry, I needed it to start the fire.

Steve tosses the robot hand which contains a built in lighter back to Dave.

Amanda: What are you doing?

Steve: I'm sending smoke signals to Earth so the cops can rescue us!!

Amanda: Oh Baby ... that's retarded.

Steve: DON'T SHATTER MY PERFECT LIE I HAVE CREATED FOR MYSELF!!!!

Amanda: Baby....

Steve: PEOPLE ON EARTH OWN TELESCOPES!!!! SOME smurf HAS TO BE LOOKING OUT HIS WINDOW AND SEE THIS!!!

Steve lets his shirt sit too long in the fire and it burns to pieces instantly.

Steve: Great! Now I don't own a shirt and I don't see any Walmarts around!!!

After Steve calms down, everyone stands up and tries to plan out their day.

Amanda: Oh .....

Amanda looks like she's almost in pain or something while holding Samantha.

Amanda: Hold her please!

Steve takes Samantha. Max looks up and meows confused.

Amanda (rubbing her belly): The baby ... it's coming VERY soon!

As Steve and Amanda talk, we zoom in between to them to Weed Man in the distance.

Weed Man is frantically searching every pocket and nook and cranny of his body and Weed Man costume.

Weed Man looks at Steve and Amanda with extreme desperation on his face.

Weed Man: Guys .... I'm out of weed!

Steve and Amanda take a concerned look at each other as suspense music plays.....