Chapter 150 --> Earth: Day 1

[Clarence]

150th episode milestone!!!

This episode takes place immediately after the Season 11 ends (after episode 147) and follows the first full day on Earth after leaving Cokima, on the first morning on Earth:

Show Steve and Amanda, in front of them is David and Samantha. David and Samantha look around at the big city before them and all the moving cars and people and etc.....

David: This is so overwhelming....

Amanda: Come on kids.... we're going to teach you about ... Earth.

They all walk into a huge shopping mall.

Samantha: Wow!

Samantha and David are very overwhelmed at the lights and shops and sights and people. Remember, they are trying to adjust from spending 20 years on Cokima where there was just trees and ... unicorns...

David: I'm scared!

Steve: Are you flipping serious?

David: Yes! You didn't tell me there would be so many people!!!

Steve: How many people did you think there would be?

David: 5?

Steve: 5?!!?!

Amanda: Steve ... are you ok?

Steve is very red faced and frustrated and disappointed in his son.

Steve: How about we split up? I'll take Samantha and you can take David somewheres.

Amanda: Ok... come on David this will be fun!

Steve: Meet back here in about half an hour?

Amanda: Sure!

Steve and Samantha stay behind as Amanda and David walk away holding hands (even though he's like 20)

Samantha: Be safe guys!

Amanda: We will!

(ominous music plays)

~~

Meanwhile at the mansion...

Weed Man is in full costume and is high as a kite, chilling out on the couch & smoking a large joint. Max is here too ... also remember since living on Cokima that Max has evolved into a humanoid cat person that stands upright but is still covered in orange fur ... and talks.

Max: So where did everyone go?

Weed Man: I guess they're going to the mall to get their kids used to society.

Max: What's a mall?

Weed Man: It's a boring place where you can play video games and buy crappy weed.

Max: Oh....

Weed Man smokes weed enjoyably as Max gets increasingly bored and restless.

Max: I want to go outside and play!

Weed Man: Yeah man.... but remember last night after we arrived on Earth?

##FLASHBACK##

Show a few cop cars in front of the mansion at night with their flashing lights on.

Police Chief Jino is talking to Steve and Amanda.

Police Chief Jino (looking over clipboard): We have reports of a giant orange cat like creature running around this neighbourhood, coming from your house and just going frantic and running around and freaking everyone out and scratching stuff up and ... puking on people's lawns .... one report says he dug up someone's yard and popped in it .... ummmm stole chicken out of a fridge.... the list just goes on ... is this true???

Steve: No.

Police Chief Jino: Ok then.

Police Chief Jino gets back in the squad car and drives away.

Steve: That was a close one.

Later show Steve and Amanda standing over Max who's on the couch cleaning his paw.

Steve: Ummmm.... you better become an indoor cat until we figure out how to work you into society....

Max (disappointed): Oh....

##End flashback##

Max: I hate this planet .... I never had to hide from anyone on Cokima.

Weed Man: I know what will make you feel better man. Here, hit this.

Weed Man passes the joint and Max inhales.

Max: Whoa... that's good stuff man, thanks!

Max begins rubbing his face all over the couch in delight.

Weed Man: Oh shoot man... I just remembered that I'm not suppose to smoke weed in the mansion.

Max: Man... I'm so tired of Steve and Amanda making all these RULES.

Weed Man: Well maybe it doesn't matter anymore cause that was when they had little kids.

Max: Do you have any more of this shazam!?

Weed Man: Yeah, I'll go to the weed garage and get more man!

Suddenly Kiera comes in and growls at Max and he jumps while clenching his heart.

Max: Oh shazam!! That's EXTRA scary when you're stoned!!!

Outside of the mansion we can see Max through the window ... suddenly an old beat up pick up truck pulls over on the side of the road and looks from the distance.

Zeke: Look ... there it is!

Phineas: Oh shazam!!! You weren't foolin!!!

Zeke: Damn right, I told you it was here! I saw it last night!!

Zeke takes out a shotgun and cocks it.

Zeke: It's the Sasquatch we've been looking for!

Phineas (also loading shotgun): Let's bag this shazam! and become millionaires!

Zeke: Right on!

~~~~

Steve and Samantha find themselves outside of a KFC in the mall.

Steve: Oh man, I'm right excited for this! I miss Earth food so much! You sure you don't want anything?

Samantha: No thanks ... what is that anyway?

Steve: It's called a double down and it's awesome! It's two pieces of deep fried greasy chicken with bacon and cheese in the middle.

Samantha: That looks horrible....

Steve: Anyway I can eat this as we shop, where do you want to go next?

Samantha: What's that store?

Steve: It's a craft store for the womens. Want to see it?

Samantha: Sure!

~

Amanda and David are walking around the mall. It's quite crowded and David is not handling it so well.

Amanda: Are you ok?

David: I'm scared and why are there so many people here?!?!

Amanda: You have to get used to crowds and other people.

David: THAT GUY IS KILLING THAT GUY IN THE CHAIR OVER THERE!!!

Amanda: That's a barber shop..... and that guy is getting a hair cut...

David: This place is too weird for me!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

David begins to run through the mall in a strange panic.

Amanda: DAVID!!

In a blind panic, David runs into a butcher ship and sees dead animals hanging and fresh meat all over and workers covered in animal blood.

Meat Store Clerk: Hey there can I help you...

David: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

David runs back through the mall while Amanda tries to catch him.

Amanda: Slow down!!!

David runs into some handicapped high school students on a trip to the mall.

David: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

David suddenly busts into the theater section of the mall and runs into a movie in progress.

David is by the big screen clenching his beating heart and can't comprehend all the stuff he's seeing on this strange world.

David: *pant* .... *pant* .... ok .... need to calm down.....

SUDDENLY EXPLOSIONS AND GUNFIRE ARE HAPPENING ON THE SCREEN AS THE LOUD WAR MOVIE PLAYS THE EPIC ENDING!

David: WHAT IN THE smurf IS HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!

Random movie watcher: SHUT THE smurf UP DOWN THERE!!!

More explosions and guns are played loud in the dark theater and David loses his shazam! and screams and screams! The people watching the movie get pissed off and begin booing loudly!

David: HELP ME MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Suddenly popcorn and drinks and stuff are thrown at David as he curls into a ball on the floor in the dark, loud theater.

David (shaking and curled into a ball): I want to be home, I want to be home, I want to be home!!!

~


Back to Samantha and Steve in the craft store.

Samantha: Wow... this is pretty, what's all this?

Steve (looking like hell): It's ... glitter.

Samantha: This is pretty! Are we allowed to take this stuff?

Steve (holding his stomach): We can buy it yeah. Here's a bunch of money.

Steve hands Samantha a wad of 100s

Samantha: ...are you ok, Dad?

Steve: Double down ... killing Daddy... about to have worst poop of my life....

Samantha: You better find a bathroom!

Steve: Agreed!!! You can stay here and buy stuff if you want!

Steve runs to the very sketchy mall bathroom to see there's a line for the stall and one person in front of him.

Steve: Crap man, I got to go ahead of you!

Magnet Hands turns around.

Magnet Hands: ... Steroids Man?

Steve: Oh crap ... it's the worst super villain ever....

Magnet Hands: Crap... why do you look so much older?

Steve: Cause I spent 20 years on a strange planet yesterday.

Magnet Hands: Are you ... on drugs or something? shazam! you're old looking now!

Steve's stomach suddenly makes very loud terrible noises.

Steve: Shouldn't you be in the handicapped bathroom or something!?!

Magnet Hands: WHY!? BECAUSE I HAVE MAGNET HANDS?!?! HOW DARE YOU!!

As Magnet Hands gets upset he flails his hands about and gets stuck to the metal bathroom stall.

Magnet Hands: Oh no..... I really do have to crap and now I'm stuck ... a little help?

Suddenly a stall becomes available and Steve runs in.

Steve: I DON'T HAVE TIME TO TAKE MY PANTS OFF PROPERLY!!!

Steve rips his pants off and destroys them and has an awful and painful bowel movement.

Steve (covered in sweat): I'm dying.... body ... not used to fast food .... double down .... poison....

Magnet Hands: OH MAN!!! THE SMELL!!!

Magnet Hands tries to run away but his hands are still stuck to the metal stall walls.

Magnet Hands: HELP!!!!!!!!!!!

~~~

A bird is flying in the sky, peaceful and nice when suddenly it stops and falls to the earth....

Weed Man is unlocking the door to his weed garage to get some more dope. Suddenly a few birds begin to drop out of the sky and fall around him.

Weed Man: That's .... odd....

Weed Man enters his garage to see .... some black guy in an eye patch.

Weed Man: What the?

Man in Eye Patch: I need your help!

Weed Man looks shocked and confused.

~

Max has been sitting on the couch for a while waiting for Weed Man to return and is high as shazam!.

Max: I need some treats!

Max tears into the fridge and goes to town on any food he can get his paws on!

Max: YUM!

Max literally cleans out the fridge in a matter of seconds and then rests against the wall.

Max: That was so good.....

Max suddenly has great big eyes and panics.

Max: WHAT IF I JUST ATE ALL THE FOOD AND THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE ANYMORE?!?!

Max suddenly gets scared and power pukes all over the kitchen like a scene from The Exorcist!

Max: Wow ... I have no idea why that happened.

*BLAST!!!* Suddenly the cupboards behind him explode and wood splinters fly all over. Max looks around frantically.

Max: WHAT WAS THAT!!!!

Show Zeke and Phineas in the kitchen with Max. Zeke has a smoking shotgun.

Zeke: We got you now Sasquatch!!

Phineas: Take this you monster!!!

They open fire on Max as he runs through the house! Max runs on all fours and the big clumsy cat man wrecks up the mansion and so do the hunters as they constantly miss with their guns and blow holes in the wall.

Max runs to the weed garage.

Max: HELP ME WEED MAN!!!!

Max looks around to see ... Weed Man is nowhere to be found.

Max: WEED MAN!!??!

*BANG*

Shots are fired and Max runs into the thick woods behind the mansion!

Zeke: Don't let him get away!!!

The two hunters chase max into the thick wilderness....

~~~

Amanda and a terrified David meet up with Samantha.

Samantha: Whoa... what happened to you!?

David: This world is terrible.... it's going to kill us all!

Samantha: What is that all over you?

Amanda: Soda and popcorn.... it's a long story.

David: We're all going to die...

Amanda: Wow... you bought a lot of glitter.

Samantha: Yeah, I thought it was pretty!

Amanda: What are you going to do with it?

Samantha: I ... don't really know.

David: Where's Daddy?

Samantha: He's in the bathroom ... and he's been there for a while.

They go to the bathroom and Amanda yells in.

Amanda: Steve?

Steve (yelling back in week voice): YEah... I'm here...

Amanda: Are you ok?

Steve: Double Down.....

Amanda: Oh dear.

Steve: ...emergency ... had to destroy pants...

Amanda: Ok .... we'll bring you in a new pair.

Samantha and David look on confused.

Amanda: Your father destroyed his pants again, I'll be right back.

~~~

Show the mansion again and suddenly the roof part begins to break apart and pieces of rock crash down on the driveway and lawn....

~~~

Amanda (yelling in the mall bathroom): Ok we got your new pants!

Steve: Bring them in so I can leave!

Amanda (To David): Bring your father his pants.

David: I don't want to go in there ... I'm scared.

Amanda: You're the only one who can go in there! It's a man's washroom! You're a man so please do this.

David: Oh whoa is me....

Amanda and Samantha: ...

David takes the pants and says a prayer and enters the sketchy mall bathroom. From David's eyes we see a horrifying scene .... like in the most scary horror film. The washroom is old and run down and the light flickers to add to the unsettling feeling.

David: *gulp*

David makes it up to the urinals as he approaches the stalls... the washroom is so dark and scary. The smells are also terrifying. A large biker zips up and leaves the urinal and is covered in tattoos.

Biker: What you lookin at PUNK?

David: Nothing Sir....

David makes it closer to the stall to see Magnet Hands hanging off the wall by his magnetic hands.

Magnet Hands: Kill ... me....

David: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

David throws the pants into the stall and runs back out.

David: LET'S GO HOME! LET'S GO HOME! LET'S GO HOME!!!!!!

Steve makes it out of the bathroom in his new pants.

Steve: UGghhhhh.... I should have worked my way up to a double down.....

Amanda: You got to be careful! You're 20 years older and no longer used to the horrible processed food Earth has to offer!

Steve: I need to go home and drink Pepto Bismol.

~Back to the bathroom one last time:

Magnet Hands: ... revenge....

~~~~~

Steve is driving home with the family eating a bunch of chocolate bars.

Amanda: Why are you eating so many chocolate bars?

Steve: Because I miss them and also I got to flush the rest of that double down out of my system.

Amanda: That's not even the least bit healthy!

They pull into the mansion driveway to see things out of sorts... Everyone gets out of the car and looks around puzzeled.

Steve: What the....

Samantha: What happened? It looks like part of your roof fell off?

Amanda: And Dave left the garage door open.

David: Hey ... there's a note from Weed Man on here.

Steve: Let me see that.

Steve reads over the note and has a concerned look on his face.

Amanda: What is it?

Steve: I .... don't know .... I think he left for some reason!

Amanda: Strange.

Suddenly an ice cream truck drives down the street with it's music playing.

David: I'm too scared out here! Can we go inside!?!?!

Steve: Fine.

They go inside to see the house a mess.

Amanda: Now what happened in here?

Steve: There's holes in our walls ... and someone puked all over the place!

Amanda: This is very .... odd.... something is up.

~~~

A few hours pass and they clean up the mansion and sit around discussing the day.

Amanda: Well ... Dave and Max still haven't come home... I'm worried.

Steve: They're probably fine.

Samantha: Maybe we should go looking for them.

Steve: Let's just wait it out. Anyway, did you guys have fun at the mall? Getting a little more used to Earth maybe?

Samantha: It was strange but you know... we just got to get used to life outside of Cokima.

David: I don't think I'll ever get used to it here ... this place is horrible.

Steve: Well this is where we live now, David ... you have to adjust to it.

David: What if I can't?

Steve: Just .... *sigh* ... just do it, ok?

Amanda leaves and comes from the kitchen with a basket of apples.

Amanda: Ummm... we're going to have to buy food if we want to have supper tonight. Most of our food has been eaten.... all that's left are these apples.

Steve: Oh man, I remember apples!

They all grab an apple and begin eating.

Steve: What do you think Samantha?

Samantha: I love it!

Steve: David?

David is on the floor turning red and having seizures.

Steve: .... are you serious?

~~~~

At the emergency room... David is in bed while his family is all around him.

Doctor: So .... he's allergic to apples.

Steve: You ... have GOT to be kidding me.... how the smurf can you be allergic to APPLES?

Doctor: Yes... if he ever bites into another yummy, delicious apple ... he'll die.

Amanda: How is this possible?

Doctor: Not sure ... but we did some tests and he's allergic to A LOT of things. Here have a look.

The doctor passes Amanda a piece of paper which unfolds and sags to the floor.

Amanda: Wow....

Samantha: What does this mean?

David: This planet ... is trying to kill me...

~~~

Back at the mansion...

David is in his bed sleeping off the allergic reaction while the rest of the family watches over him.

Amanda: Me and Steve have to get groceries so we can eat tonight ....

Samantha: Ok.

Amanda: You keep a close eye on your brother until we get back, ok?

Samantha: Will do!

Steve and Amanda head to the grocery store and make sure the mansion is secure.

Samantha: Are you feeling better, David?

David: Yeah ... but I hate this planet.

Samantha: It really isn't so bad. We just got to get used to it.

David: I want to go home...

Samantha: This is our home now.

David looks really sad.

~~~

Steve and Amanda are driving to the grocery store.

Steve: I can't believe it! It's like riding a bike, I never forgot how to drive at all!

Steve pulls his very damaged car up to the grocery store and grabs a sweet parking spot. Amanda gets out of the car and heads to the store, then looks back to see Steve still sitting in the drivers seat.

Amanda: ... are you coming in?

Steve: Nah, I'll just slow you down. I'm gonna stay in the car and eat up these chocolate bars and play with my balls a lot.

Amanda: Are ... you serious?

Steve: Ya.

Amanda: *sigh* Whatever...

Amanda heads in the door while Steve yells from the distance.

Steve: AMANDA!!!!

Amanda: WHAT?!?

Steve: GET FUNYUNS!!!

Amanda gives a dirty look and begins shopping.

As Amanda goes through the store she's whistling and having a good time. Grabbing celery and stuff and filling up her basket.

Suddenly 4 guys in black business suits come up to her.

Amanda: ....hello?

Business Suit Guy #3: We need you to come with us.

Amanda: Ummm.... no.

Business Suit Guy #1: It's very important ma'am.

Amanda: So is me making supper for my family, now out of my way!

One of the guys grab her arm.

Business Suit Guy#1: Please just listen to us for a second.

Amanda: Listen to this!

Amanda grabs a glass jar of mayonnaise out of her cart and smashes it over the head of the guy holding her. An epic fight ensues!

Meanwhile, Steve is outside and has to take a break between chocolate bars.

Steve: Oh man... I'm dizzy and see stars .... I think that means I need more chocolate bars!

Back to the fight scene, Amanda and the 4 unknown men in business suits are engaged in a serious brawl! They have already done major damage to the store.

Store Manager: Please! Everyone stop this! I'll give you coupons!

Amanda takes a rotisserie chicken out of the hot display and opens it and hurls it at one of the men.

Business Suit Guy #2: MY FACE!!!!!!!!! IT BURNS!!!!!

Another business suit guy swings at her and she ducks and then flips him over her back into a shelf of glass pickles which collapses! As he tries to get up he's covered in broken glass.

Amanda grabs a shopping cart and rams it into another guy and eventually wins the fight.

Amanda is covered in sweat and random food and is breathing heavy.

Amanda: I still... still got it!

Suddenly another man in a suit walks on the screen but we can't get a look at his face.

5th Man: Seriously? 4 of my best men couldn't handle the simple task of acquiring you?

Amanda: What do YOU want with me?

Steve is outside in his car listening to "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" by Taylor Swift while eating two bags of chips and dancing in his car. An army of cops pull in and enter the building as people run out. Steve notices none of this.

Meanwhile in the back of the store an unconscious Amanda gets loaded into a black van that disappears into the night...

~~~~

It's starting to get late out and Samantha looks out the window worried.

Samantha: Where are you???

Suddenly Samantha sees something weird floating by on the street.

Samantha: What the.... a car that's ... floating? They never told me about this!

This fancy car is literally floating down the street as Samantha watches .... then it begins to lose control and crash into a large tree and flames shoot out!

Samantha: Oh no!

Samantha runs out very fast as she's in excellent shape and comes up to the crashed and burning hover car labeled "Ludicrous Industries"

Captain Ludicrous: Crap Murray ... I was too excited to drive this radical untested hover car!

Murray: A little girl is looking at us.

Captain Ludicrous: Get out of here!!! This hover car may explode!!

Samantha: Get out then!!!

Captain Ludicrous: We can't! Our seat-belts are stuck!!!

Samantha: I'll be right back!

Captain Ludicrous: No - leave us!!!

Samantha runs into the mansion quickly and finds a large and sharp kitchen knife and runs back out. She heroically cuts Captain Ludicrous and his lab assistant Murray free and they are able to escape.

Captain Ludicrous: Our stuff!

Murray: I'm on it!

Murray opens the trunk and grabs a LARGE box of random shazam! and they all run.

Captain Ludicrous: We got to find cover now! That hover car is mostly hydrogen, gas and nuclear power!

Samantha lets them all run into the mansion and she shuts the door.

KABOOM!!!!!!

The insanely loud explosion causes David to open his eyes wide in bed and wake him from his nightmares.

David: I can't take it anymore!!!

Downstairs Samantha checks on the two scientists who are catching their breath.

Samantha: Are you guys alright?

Captain Ludicrous: You saved our lives! You're a real hero!

Samantha: I am?

Captain Ludicrous: What you did was so great, we owe you a life debt!

Murray: Maybe we can give her something in here.

Murray rummages through his box of science things and pulls out this strange futuristic skateboard.

Captain Ludicrous: Perfect! Give her that!

Samantha takes the skateboard and looks it over.

Samantha: What is it?

Captain Ludicrous: One of my many inventions. Did you ever see Back to the Future?

Samantha: Back to the Future?

Captain Ludicrous: You know, the movie?

Samantha: I never seen a movie before.

Captain Ludicrous and Murray look at each other confused.

Captain Ludicrous: Anyway, it's a skateboard that floats in the air and moves at extreme speeds. Be careful with it!

Samantha: I can really have this?

Captain Ludicrous: Of course! You saved our lives! You should feel great about this, it's a wonderful thing!

Samantha: I really do! I'm glad I could help!

Captain Ludicrous and his assistant Murray leave and walk home.

Murray: Hmmmm...

Captain Ludicrous: What's wrong?

Murray: Did you ever wonder about our judgement on things? I mean think about it ... we made that very dangerous hover car and tested it recklessly .... and we gave a little girl a very dangerous floating skateboard ... not to mention all the other things we've...

Captain Ludicrous (putting his arm on Murray): Oh Murray, I never let silly thoughts like that get in the way of science!

~~

David looks out the window. It's now dark out and he sees the strange cosmic explosion scene left over from the hover car explosion.

David begins to cry and shiver.

David: Those tears are cold on my face.

David then makes a life decision and sneaks out of the mansion and heads for the woods.

David (looking back on the mansion one last time): I can't live in this world ... sorry everyone .... the woods are my home!

David retreats into the woods which is more familiar territory and feels more like Cokima.

~~~

Samantha is very excited and goes up to Conky and Kiera.

Samantha: Oh yes! I'm so excited kitties! I know what I must do now!

Samantha, now inspired from saving people decides to become a super hero like Weed Man and more importantly her Dad that she's heard so much about from his Steroids Man days. She goes around the house taking material from jackets and other things and brings them to her room.

Samantha: Ok, here we go!

Samantha makes a magnificent costume and quickly. She learned how to make clothes from living on Cokima. Samantha puts it on and looks in the mirror.

Samantha: Hmmmm...

We see a costume that's all made of different materials such as blankets and etc ... and it looks kind of strange and random. She then looks over to the Glitter in her room.

Samantha: Aha!

~~~

It's now exorbitantly late and Steve and one other car is all that remains at the grocery store.

Steve is still dancing and listening to music and eating junk food. But is now very tired and worn down.

Steve: Oh man.... she's so slow. She must have forgot how to shop or something.

Suddenly the manager exits the store and locks up.

Steve (rolling down his window): Hey! Don't lock those doors! MY wife is in there!

Store Manager: What? Nobody is in there and we have been closed for an hour.... notice that you're the last one in the parking lot?

Steve looks around to see one other car.

Steve: Not true, there's...

Store Manager: That's my car.

Steve: Oh....

Store Manager: Yes so I'm not sure what to tell you about your wife .... wait a minute....

The store Manager describes Amanda to him.

Steve: Yes! That's my wife! She's probably trapped in the milk isle or something since you locked her in there ... dark and alone and afraid in the dairy section ... so alone..... how could you do this you monster???

The Store Manager: I'm afraid I got some bad news for you ... I'm not sure how to say this.

Steve: Just say it man.

Store Manager: Well .... some guys in nice suits came in and .... took your wife.

Steve: Took my wife??!?

Store Manger: Yes...

Store: Took her where!?!? To Disney World!!? I told her I was going to do that if she was just patient enough!

Store Manger: I don't know where they took her, but she's gone.

Steve: DID YOU CALL THE COPS!

Store Manager: Yes ... there was a bunch of cops in this parking lot and they searched all over ....

Steve: There were?

(flashback to Steve dancing in the car and eating chocolate and then back to present)

Store Manager: I'm so sorry.

Steve: MY wife ... what am I going to do???

Store Manager: Here.

The store manager hands Steve something through the open car window.

Steve: What's this?

Store Manager: 20% off your next order up to $100 dollars.

~~~~

Samantha finishes her costume.

Samantha: Awesome ... now what to call myself?

Samantha looks at her costume that's covered in pink and purple glitter.

Samantha: Hmmm.... guess I'll just call myself Glitter Girl until I can come up with something less lame.

Samantha decides to hide her costume and keep her attempt at being a super hero a secret.

Samantha: Wow... it's crazy late! I got really distracted making that costume. I better check on my brother! Oh crap... I'm talking to myself again.

Samantha opens the door to David's room.

Samantha: David?

Samantha now fully looks in to see ... nothing.

Samantha: David!?!?

Samantha panics and begins ripping the mansion apart while searching for her brother.

Samantha (whipping closets open): Where are you!?

Samantha takes it to the outside of the mansion and yells for David when Steve pulls in. Steve just makes it into the driveway when his car finally dies from all the accidents along the way.

Samantha: Dad!!!!

Samantha runs and hugs her father as he gets out of the car.

Samantha (tears in her eyes): I can't find him anywhere!!!

Steve: Who?

Samantha: David ... he's missing!

Steve collapses and lands on his knees.

Steve: What ... what is happening?

Samantha: Where's Mom?

Steve: They ... they took her.

Samantha: What?!?!?! Who took her?!?!?

Steve (crying): I ... Don't know.

Steve and Samantha hug while kneeling in the driveway and cry in each other's arms as Conky and Kiera join them.

Steve: How could this get any worse???

~~~

Cut to Steve in the examining room at the doctor's office.

Doctor: You have diabetes.

The doctor flips through a few pages of his chart.

Doctor: .... a lot of it.

Steve (lowering his head): Oh.....

~~~

~~~

~~~

Show a great big funeral. Cut to the coffin as people pay their final respects.

Magnet Hands: Goodbye Uncle....

*clink* *clunk*

Everyone looks over at Magnet Hands.

Magnet Hands (nervous laughter): Ummm... I'm stuck to the coffin.

At the reception following the funeral.

Maria: I can't believe he's dead.

Joe: I can't believe how much inheritance we all stand to receive....

Mona: What are you going to do with the money?

Joe: Well I could fix up my house.

Magnet Hands busts into the conversation!

Magnet Hands: I'm going to use the money to kill Steroids Man once and for all!

All the other relatives look at Magnet Hands and laugh.

Joe: What a joke! You're the worst member of our family!

Terry: And Steroids Man retired a while ago...

Magnet Hands: Yeah, but nobody has ever managed to kill him, have they!?

Ken (putting his hand on Magnet Hand's shoulder): Give it up brother. Stop trying to pretend to be a super villain and just be a normal member of our family.

Magnet Hands (pushing off): No! I'm going to make you and my dead Uncle proud! You'll see!

Joe (yelling): Get a job! Then we would be proud of you!

Magnet Hands (crying): You know nobody hires me because of my magnetic hands!!!

Anyway, Magnet Hands sets up his office, receives the inheritance money and makes a very important phone call.

Caped Man (answering phone): Hello?

Magnet Hands: I got a job for you....