Cushion - Cowardly main character who everyone seems to want to kill. Has annoying hobbies as well as personality. She is a woman who has been pretending to be a man to inherit her Grandfather's money as her parents have died mysteriously.
Peach Ring - Murderous peach ring who is mostly a confused serial killer! Grows tired of disappointing adversaries that aren't worthy of the kill. Has unusual religious beliefs.
Sir Walter (AKA Mr. Yellow) - Cushion and Bread Slice's former landlord. Former member of the League of Shadowy Figures, but quit! Enjoys a good monocle, cane and top hat. Is also 48th in line of succession to the British Throne. Has hilarious eye problems. Has a cane that seems to have unlimited additional functions.
Great Dot - A friendly blue dot who is laid back and is constantly doing renovations on his house or having food themed parties. Has a brother, Boggle.
Boggle - Great Dot's brother. Makes awesome Burritos.
Strawberry Chex - An awesome kick-bottom cereal who always gets stuck with a bad online date.
Froot Loop - Eldest spawn of Strawberry Chex. Future neurosurgeon.
Apple Jack - Middle spawn of Strawberry Chex. A curious cereal who loves to jump and climb.
Corn Pop - Youngest spawn of Strawberry Chex. Always wants a snack.
Bella - She is a bell who helps babysit for Strawberry Chex sometimes.
LaMeow - A zen-cat who hates arguments/fights and likes the color blue and chocolate. Oh and occasionally looses her temper when she feels pressured by others. 
Car Battery - He is the leader of the Society of quilters and carries a blanket!!!
5 Hour Energy Drink - A very hyper guy with unlimited energy and an AXE!!!! This seems like a dangerous combination to me.
Charlie the Chainsaw - A Chainsaw who carries a chainsaw ...
Coke - A dangerous man who takes fabulous pictures!
The Crack Hen - A hen and crack pipe combination that needs to borrow money for drugs.
Mustafa - Evil toiler paper roll that has toilet paper themed powers and is totally gangster! Formerly Ephraim the Eraser's assistant as Ephraim couldn't touch things.
Pastor Podium - The very honest pastor of the local church.
Sir chair - A super pathetic super villain that has fallen so far down in status it’s beyond sad. Think Lex Luthor on the street crying and begging for change with a hobo beard.
Pine - Sir Chair’s on again / off again wife. She doesn’t have a lot of options, obviously.
Bigger English Cucumber - Older and fatter brother of English Cucumber. Also kidnapped by Strawberry Chex.
Smokey - Super stoner of epic proportions who runs the Weed Shop! Mr. Gear's number 1 supplier!
Clocky AKA Timekeeper AKA Handyman AKA Ronald - A clock by many names with some kind of multiple personality disorder who is obsessed with hiding in bushes and jumping out when someone happens to ask "What time is it?"
The Killer Suppository - A evil doer who does evil things to balloon knot.-----Elite Elderly Circuit-----
Thaddeus - Evil Leader of the Elite Elderly Circuit who apparently was in some horrible accident!
Arthur the Victorian Couch - Cushion's balloon knot/racist Grandfather who wants to have her killed. May have had Cushion's parents killed as well!
Benchy - A random bench that Cushion was sitting on in the first comic. Cushion flipped him over when trying to get away from Peach Ring on their first encounter. Benchy has since been trying to get back on his feet and wants to kill Cushion. Joined up with the elderly to help his cause.
Covered Bridge - A really old member who likes to insult the other members.
Sammy - An old cellphone who refuses to die! Seriously!
Miss Chamberpot - Only female member who is maybe the least evil and maybe not evil at all, kind and caring actually.
Ole Scratchy - Has a seeing eye disorder or something.
Knob - Hasn't been the same since tube left him.
Professor Tobacco Pipe - Has bladder problems and misses his Grandson who may be in the League of Shadowy Figures.-----League of Shadowy Figures-----
Captain Awesome - Leader of the League of Shadowy Figures. Insists everything happens in the dark and remain secretive. Also enforces code names on all members.
Mr. Brown - A hammer that always tries to ban people and likes to argue.
Mrs. Red - A nurse who is using the evil league influence to become a doctor!
Mr. Green - High all the time! Screws up or forgets to complete his evil plans because he got high, because he got high, because he got high!!
Mr. Pink - Hates being called Mr. Pink because he wears a red cape. Also Mrs. Red finds him creepy. Likes to carry and use bombs a lot. Gets mad when others think he's gay but at the same time has a lot of gay qualities.
Mr. Black - Recruited by Captain Awesome to replace Mr. Gray. Rarely talks and generally creeps everyone out. His bark may be worse than his bite, or fire breath.
Mrs. Sparkles - Newest member. Recruited by Captain Awesome to replace Mr. Yellow. She's a pretty intense presence in the league! Has a pet unicorn named Frederick!-----Deceased Characters!!!-----
Magneto (AKA Mr. Gray) - The first death in the comics from this poorly named character who is loud and has magnetic powers ... he accidentally pulled a plane into himself and died and the League of Shadowy Figures blames Cushion who was there at the time being harassed by Magneto.
Mortimer Maximus Manheim Junior III -Mortimer lead a very sheltered yet structured life with his strict parents, a wagon wheel and a bent coat-hanger. Forbidden to watch TV he wasn't able to learn things as quickly as his peers, which were few and far between because he was home schooled and not allowed to have friends. Sadly his sheltered life lead to be his undoing as he was unable to recognize the danger of the lit bomb he was holding that blew him up at McDonalds on a random Wednesday. He was one day away from being promoted to manager too, sad.
Evil Flower - A surprisingly evil flower who lost his head!
Monica - Peach Ring's knife who died tragically
Bread Slice (AKA Tobias) - Poor Bread Slice died trying to save Cushion's life. He was Cushion's only real friend and secret love interest. Former room mate and loyal to Cushion at all times despite finding her annoying like everyone else at times. A closet gay slice of bread who only came out during death.
Ephraim the Eraser - A killer eraser that erased everything he touched! Seems to regret that he can't touch anything but had his assistant Mustafa touch things on his behalf.
English Cucumber - Was very attractive to the ladies.... until he was treated too rough and broke in half.
Roy - Liked old music. Choked to death on ketchup?? Former member of the Elite Elderly Circuit.
Winebottle - A happy go lucky wine bottle who loved to have people over for a glass of wine. Very friendly but picked the wrong friends it seems...
Clippy - Crazy candy addict who was very stupid/random and always liked to go on an adventure and tried to be a good guy.
Mr. Gear - Stoner balloon knot who was especially mean to Clippy and never wanted to do anything, seriously lazy and unhelpful. Seemed kind of evil really.
Cheesus - Alcoholic former super hero who drank because he lost his powers and was totally useless in the end.
Steroids Man - A character who did steroids a lot and lost control of himself often. A very original character because I'm not so out of ideas that I'm starting to rip myself off.
Mr. Bucket - He died so gruesomely I don't dare explain what happened
