Chapter 167 --> Punishment Man

[Clarence]

Cut to Mr. Sandwich's office in Brittlecliff, the morning after the heavy weed smoking ....

Mr. Sandwich and his 4 evil colleagues all wake up on the office on the floor. They look like shazam! and there's empty chip bags and candy wrappers all over...

Mr. Sandwich: What have we done? Oh.....

Evil Colleague #3: My diabetes!

Evil Colleague #1: I ate so much ... my stomach is in agony!

Mr. Sandwich: Guys ... what happened?

Evil Colleague #4: Was that all a dream???

Evil Colleague #2: We all smoked weed in the kitchen yesterday and ate everything!

Evil Colleague #4: And I think there was a giant robot involved!

Mr. Sandwich: Son of a jabberwocky .... Steve!!! That bastard! He drugged us!

Evil Colleague #1: He's trying to get you back for all those attempts to kill him....

Evil Colleague #4: I feel like shazam! guys ... I'm not a kid anymore! I stayed up way too late and ate too much ....

Evil Colleague #2: We smoked so much pot....

Mr. Sandwich: I'm so tired .... but we need to find someone to kill Steve .....

Evil Colleague #1: I know of some ninjas that just moved in ... I'll call them later.

Mr. Sandwich: Ok .... good ... good....

Mr. Sandwich collapses and so does everyone else.

Sandwich JR comes in.

Sandwich JR: Hey Dad, what's on the docket for today ....

Sandwich JR looks around as his dad and these 4 other old guys are all passed out on the floor in a sea of empty food packages.

Sandwich JR: Can't this place ever just be normal?

~~~

The following night....

Steve is in his room asleep and as is Vorthon in the other bedroom of this nursing home unit.

Suddenly the door handle to their apartment begins to turn. We hear noises as if someone is trying to pick the lock.

Unknown voice #1: I thought you said you knew how to do this?

Unknown voice #2: Yeah, you said you did it all the time!

Unknown voice #3: No, I said I seen it in movies all the time! But how hard can it be?

Unknown voice #2: This isn't working!

Show outside the door to see 3 elderly ninjas who can't figure out what to do....

Elderly Ninja #1: ... well this sucks.

~~The next morning at Mr. Sandwich's office. The three elderly ninjas are here in full uniform and dressed in black.

Mr. Sandwich: How did it go? Is it done?

Elderly Ninja #3: Ummmm ... almost ... we just need one thing first.

Mr. Sandwich: What's that?

Elderly Ninja #3: .... a key to his room ...

Mr. Sandwich: ...

~~~ That night ...

Once again Vorthon and Steve are asleep in their separate beds. It's total darkness and once again we hear the three elderly ninjas outside the door. The door nob begins to shake.

Elderly Ninja #1: I thought you said you knew how to do this!

Elderly Ninja #3: Well this key doesn't seem to fit good....

Elderly Ninja #2: We can't fail again! Mr. Sandwich is offering us new ninja stars! We really need those after misplacing ours!

Suddenly the night janitor comes by.

Elderly Ninja #1: Excuse me, can you help us get into our apartment?

The janitor opens the door for them and goes about his business.

Elderly Ninja #2: Whahahahah! There is no place we can't sneak into!

The elderly ninjas enter the apartment now and shut the door loudly behind them.

Elderly Ninja #3: Oops! Sorry!

Elderly Ninja #2 stubs his toe on some furniture and screams!

Elderly Ninja #1: SHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Let's get out our weapons and do this already!

Elderly Ninja #1 pulls out some nun-chucks!

Elderly Ninja #2 pulls out a rusty old katana.

Elderly Ninja #3 pulls out a book about depression.

Elderly Ninja #3: Oh crap! This isn't my bo staff!

Elderly Ninja #3: Let's get it done now!!

The three ninjas are now in Vorthon's room and confused.

Elderly Ninja #1: Wait ... was Steve Mann black? The picture we saw was of a white man, right?

Elderly Ninja #3: I forget....

Vorthon wakes up and looks around.

Vorthon: Wha ... huh?

Elderly Ninja #2: Are you Steve?

Vorthon: *sigh* next room....

Vorthon turns over and goes back to sleep.

The elderly ninjas now go to Steve's room and get ready. Doing fancy moves with the nun-chucks and spinning the katana around and holding a book about depression.

Elderly Ninja #1: Wait ... who's that over there?

Next to Steve's bed is an unknown man standing in the darkness.

Elderly Ninja #2: ... this is weird.

Elderly Ninja #3: I'm scared!

In the dark room we can tell that the unknown man raises a gun with a large silencer on it and quietly shoots and kills the ninjas. He then gets into bed with Steve...

~~~

The next morning...

Steve wakes up after a good sleep and rolls over to see ... a man in his bed staring at him with his eyes wide open. Steve jumps out of bed very fast.

Steve: WHAT THE smurf!?!?!!?

The man gets up and is wearing a nice black business suit which has no wrinkles despite being slept in all night.

Steve stumbles around and almost trips on dead ninjas.

Steve: WHAT IS GOING ON!?!?! WHO ARE YOU?!?!!

The man: I'm Sted.

Steve: Sted????

Sted: Yes, Sted. From the FBI.

Steve: Why are you sleeping with me?! And why are there dead ninjas?!?

Sted: There are more important things at hand. Our country needs you.

Steve: Listen, pal. I am way retired and far too old to do anything for you right now, ok?

Sted: You're the only one who can help. The town needs a hero!

Steve: I'm too old to be a hero! Are you kidding me?

Sted: Not you obviously. But just as Steroids Woman replaced Weed Man who replaced you, we have a new hero lined up for the position.

Steve: Ok ... so why do you need me again???

Sted: You are the only one who has the experience to train this new hero ... he's kind of rough around the edges... but he's the best candidate we could find on short notice.

Steve: ... why should I?

Sted: Because he's outside waiting for you. And if you had any decency you would help protect the world just like the hero you used to be!

Vorthon looks in the bedroom doorway.

Vorthon: Damn it Steve, stop being an balloon knot and just do it!

Steve: *sigh* ... fine. But are you going to get rid of these random ninjas?

Sted: Yup.

Steve goes out into the kitchen and meets Vorthon who has pancakes.

Vorthon: Pancake for the road?

Steve: Yeah. I may need some Tylenol too.

Vorthon: Hey, can you do me a favour before you head out?

Steve: What?

Vorthon: Take that tracking device off your back! For crying out loud it's been on there for days!

Steve: ... well this is the first I heard of it.

~~~

Steve goes outside to try to find this newbie hero ...

Steve: I don't see anyone around that looks like a hero.

In the distance a man is sitting in a red convertible.

Man: STEVE!? WHERE ARE YOU ALREADY??

Steve approaches this car. He sees a man in a black shirt with a white skull drawn on it. He looks like a rough character with a hard face. Messy hair and a scar on his face. Tattoos on his arms and ripped up jeans.

Steve: .... hello? Who are you?

Man: I am Punishment Man! The FBI said you used to be a hero or something and had some words of wisdom for me?

Steve gets in the car and is confused.

Steve: So you're a hero?

Punishment Man: Damn straight! I punish those who break the law!

Steve: What kind of powers do you have?

Punishment Man: I am determined to make criminals suffer! Especially after they killed my family! Also I have a bunch of weapons and bombs and stuff.

Steve: ....

Punishment Man: I also sort of have anger issues and do take Wednesdays off for anger management class.

Steve: Wow ... and you're the best person the FBI could find to be a hero?

Punishment Man (takes out his gun): What the hell is that suppose to mean??

Steve: Nothing!

Punishment Man: I am the best man for the job! I work tirelessly to seek out criminals and kill them!

Steve: Ok!

Punishment Man: Once I become the official hero I'll be able to do so much more! With the salary the FBI will give me I can get better weapons and ...

Steve: ... salary? They're paying you for this???

Punishment Man: Yes. They pay handsomely to have someone be a hero and give every day people the hope they need. They paid you too right?

Steve: ...no...

(Steve never received money from the FBI, but did receive thank you money from other countries when saving the world ... which he accepted ... because he's an balloon knot. Can you picture Super Man taking this money?)

Punishment Man: I heard they paid Steroids Woman pretty good too. I'm glad she died so I could get a shot at this!

Steve: ... that was my daughter...

Punishment Man: Shoot ... that's awkward. Let's go look for crime!

Punishment Man speeds off in his red convertible and Steve goes flying out and into the distance. Punishment Man runs to see Steve in a bunch of bushes.

Punishment Man: You got to use a seat belt man!

Steve (weak voice): ... I think that's good for today, let's pick up where we left off tomorrow.

~~~

The next morning, Steve sleeps safe and sound in his bed.

KABOOM!!!!!!

Steve screams as his bedroom window explodes and Punishment Man busts in and does a dramatic roll. Landing perfectly, he stands up and pulls out a large knife!

Steve: WHAT THE smurf MAN!!?!?

Punishment Man places the knife right next to Steve's throat while Steve sits paralyzed.

Punishment Man: Impressed?

Steve: Impressed?!?

Punishment Man: Yeah. I'm trying to show you how great of a super hero I am by breaking into your place and also how easily I could have killed you.

Steve (clutching his heart): *gasp* ... *choke*

Punishment Man: So what should we do today so the FBI thinks I'm ready and I become official?

Steve: The first thing I need to do is find new underwear....

~~~

Show Mr. Sandwich's large and evil office. Mr. Sandwich and his 4 evil colleagues are here. Sandwich JR is also here doing paperwork and with large headphones on listening to music.

Mr. Sandwich: Any word from the ninjas?

Evil Colleague #3: No .... somehow they have completely disappeared. I'm not sure how this is possible.

Evil Colleague #4: This Steve fellow appears to be a greater advisory than we thought! Especially if he took out those ninjas!

Mr. Sandwich: I don't buy it! He's just lucky, that's all! We need to find another resident for the job!

Evil Colleague #1: Maybe we should look for assassins outside of our retirement home.

Evil Colleague #2: You mean outsource?

Evil Colleague #4: My cousin Earl owns a dump truck. Maybe we could have him run over Steve and it look like an accident.

Suddenly the office door busts open!

Mr. Sandwich: What the hell?

Mr. Sandwich and the 4 evil colleagues and Sandwich JR look over. Sandwich JR removes his headphones.

Steve and Punishment Man enter the room.

Steve: Ok Punishment Man! Here is your first test as a super hero! Kill that evil guy on that large throne!

Mr. Sandwich: What?!?!?

Punishment Man: Ummmm ... these guys are old. Old people aren't evil.... they're just lame.

Steve: No, this guy is evil and should be stopped!

Punishment Man: Come on, this place is boring and reeks of elderly. Let's go find some real crime!

Steve: *sigh* fine.

Steve and Punishment Man leave.

Sandwich JR: What the hell was that?

Mr. Sandwich: Is something amiss, son?

Sandwich JR: EVERYTHING is amiss in this place!!! I never know what's really going on around here!

Mr. Sandwich: What's really going on here is ... I love you son.

Sandwich JR: Awww... I love you too, Father!

Mr. Sandwich: Now back to work.

Sandwich JR: Ok.

Sandwich JR begins to sort out his papers.

Evil Colleague #4: Dump truck?

Mr. Sandwich: Dump truck.

Sandwich JR: What was that?

Mr. Sandwich: Stop listening to everything!

At the open window of the office, a crow wearing an eye patch watches on and then flies away....

Cut to Grimm Valley, the #2 ranked nursing home who is in direct competition with Brittlecliff.

Mr. Hamburger sits in his evil office with his two evil colleagues and also his beloved evil white cat.

Suddenly the crow wearing an eye patch flies in.

Mr. Hamburger: Ah, Spencer the spy crow. What do you have for me today?

The crow speaks bird language to a parrot in the office who translates the message.

Parrot: Mr. Sandwich ... to kill Steve ... with dump truck!

Mr. Hamburger: I see.... Well we will have to throw a wrench in those plans, won't we?

Evil Colleague #2: What are you thinking?

Mr. Hamburger: We get someone to stop the dump truck which will make Mr. Sandwich very mad!

Evil Colleague #1: My cousin Louie owns a bus! He could run the dump truck off the road!

Mr. Hamburger: Excellent! Make it so!

Spencer the crow speaks more bird speak and the parrot again translates.

Parrot: Spencer asks ... any other jobs ... *squawk*

Mr. Hamburger: Yes, go back and peck at some of the residents at Brittlecliff and give them bird diseases!

~~~

Punishment Man and Steve drive around town looking for crime.

Punishment Man: Is that crime???

Steve: That's somebody washing their car...

Punishment Man: Maybe it's stolen and they're trying to wash away the evidence!

Steve: How about we look for real crime?

Punishment Man: Fine. But we better find something soon. I'm BORED!

They drive around until they find some legit crime. Two men in hoodies are meeting up and one hands the other a bag of crack.

Punishment Man: Now we're cookin!

Punishment Man abruptly stops his convertible! Punishment Man then jumps up out of his seat and runs over Steve's legs to jump out the passenger side.

Steve: Hey!

Punishment Man then runs over and kicks the buyer in the head with his large army boot! Punishment Man kicked this guy so hard in the head that his head is smashed between a brick wall and the steel toe boot!

Dealer: smurf!

After the buyer collapses, Punishment Man grabs the dealer's hoodie and yanks him back and smashes his skull into a wall. The dealer is confused and stumbles around and Punishment Man grabs his throat! Punishment Man has the dealer against the wall and grips on his throat and with his free hand takes a gun and shoves the tip of the gun down his mouth.

Punishment Man: WHO DO YOU WORK FOR!?!?!?!

The Dealer is sweating and mumbling because there's a gun down his mouth!

Punishment Man: TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO KNOW OR I'LL MAKE YOU MORE DEAD THAN A ROOM FULL OF DEAD BABIES!

Steve approaches.

Steve: Whoa whoa whoa whoa! What the hell are you doing?!?!

Punishment Man (calm): What's the matter?

Steve: What kind of line is that? "More dead than a room full of dead babies"???

Punishment Man: Yeah, that's pretty threatening right? I'm sure you used threatening lines too when you were a hero!

Steve: Not like that! That was awful! Get better lines man!

The dealer with the hand on his throat and gun down his mouth struggles to talk.

Punishment Man: Ok, I've had enough of you dicking me around, pal! WHO DO YOU WORK FOR!!? TELL ME NOW OR SUCK ON MY GUN!!

Steve: Dude! He obviously can't talk!

Punishment Man: He can talk if he wants to live!

Dealer: (desperate mumbles)

Punishment Man pulls the trigger and the dealer's head explodes. Blood is all over ...

Steve: Well great ... so much for finding the source of the drugs...

Punishment Man: That doesn't matter. The important thing is a message was sent here today!

Steve: ... was it?

The buyer regains consciousness and Punishment Man rams a gun down his mouth.

Punishment Man: Spread the word, street slime! Punishment Man is here to stay and if anyone else deals or buys drugs, they will have to answer to me! Do you understand?

Buyer: (mumbles)

Punishment Man: ANSWER ME!!!

Steve: Stop sticking guns down people's mouths!!!

~~~

Punishment Man and Steve drive around some more.

Punishment Man: So what do you think old man? Am I super hero caliber or what?

Steve: Well .. you might have a few things you should work on.

Punishment Man: Like what?

Suddenly a dump truck crosses the yellow line and comes right at them!

Steve: LOOK OUT!!!!!

Punishment Man: OH shazam!! HE'S COMING RIGHT AT US!!! NOTHING I CAN DO!!!!

Right at the last minute, a random bus t-bones the dump truck causing them to both crash into a building. The drivers of both large vehicles appear to be hurt but Punishment Man's car is fine.

Steve (clutching heart): What just ... happens...

Punishment Man: Time to take out the trash!

Punishment runs over and punches the elderly dump truck driver a bunch of times and then whips out the bus driver and gives him a good stomping!

Steve: I want to go home now!!

Punishment Man: Damn, you old folks turn in early huh?

Punishment Man runs Steve home and drops him off.

Punishment Man: Alright. Let's do this again tomorrow! Maybe we can fight a super villain, huh? I always wanted to fight a legit super villain!

Steve: Ok, sure.

Steve makes his way back in Brittlecliff but first encounters something strange. Something bumps him in the leg and almost trips him!

Steve: What the ... ???

Steve looks down to see a flat, round robot vacuum thing with one red light.

Steve: Did that robot vacuum just try to trip me?

The vacuum goes in front of Steve and vacuums up the dirty floor which leaves the message: DIE!

Steve: I'm going to bed.

~~~

The next day. Steve and Punishment Man drive around some more looking for crime.

Punishment Man: So what else do you have to teach me anyway? I want to be a super hero already.

Steve: I don't even know. I barely know what goes on anymore.

Sted: You're almost ready, we're just looking for a little more experience from you is all.

Punishment Man and Steve scream and swerve all over the road.

Sted: Good car control.

Punishment Man: When the hell did you get back there???

Sted: There is no limit to what the FBI can do.

Steve: Did you want something???

Sted: Yes. The mayor has been signing in new and strange laws and trying to reduce police staff. Go to his office and investigate what's going on. You will get 3 super hero tokens for this.

Punishment Man: I'm on it!

Steve: What the smurf are super hero tokens?!?!

Sted is gone. Steve looks very disturbed.

Punishment Man: Why so glum, chum?

Steve: I been on one too many adventures.

Punishment Man: Anyway, I think I got a good plan for how to approach this whole mayor situation.

Steve: I'm sure you don't.

~~~

Show the mayor in his office signing documents by himself.

Mayor: Yes ... I should make all drugs legal ..... yes ... close all the schools....

Suddenly the door gets kicked in and Punishment Man approaches with a gun, followed by Steve.

Steve: No, this isn't excessive or discreet at all...

Punishment Man: Stop what you're doing right now evil mayor! Don't make me break my penis off in your bottom!!!!

Steve: What did you just say???

Punishment Man: It's another one of my super hero lines.

Steve: We need to seriously go over your lines, ok?

The Mayor lifts his head and appears to be .... possessed or something. He begins to speak but somehow his words don't perfectly line up with his mouth movements.

Mayor: Lower your weapon. You have no legal right to be here.

Punishment Man (gun aimed): What's going on?

Mayor: Nothing is going on. All is fine.

Suddenly strange laughter is heard from behind the mayor's desk.

Punishment Man: What's going on back there?

Mayor: Nothing! Mind your own business!

Punishment Man puts his gun in his pants and slides the mayor's desk out of the way. We reveal another man dressed in a black trench-coat and with a mask over his eyes. This mysterious man has one of his arms up the mayor's bottom.

Punishment Man: What is going on!??!

Steve: Why is your hand up the mayor's butt-hole!?!

The mayor begins to speak while it appears the other man is discreetly moving his lips.

Mayor: He is my doctor. I am very sick. Please leave.

Punishment Man: Oh .... sorry. Hope you get better soon! Let's leave Steve, this is weird.

Steve: I don't think that's a real doctor!!

Punishment Man turns around and at that moment the mysterious man removes his arm from the mayor's bottom! The Mayor collapses and the strange man dives in and places his arm up Punishment Man's bottom! Punishment Man drops his gun and it slides over to Steve who picks it up.

Steve (aiming gun at the mysterious man behind Punishment Man): Are you ok?

Punishment Man: Yes .... of course I am. Why do you ask?

Steve: There's a man with a hand up your bottom!

Punishment Man: Oh no, all is well. He is fixing a back injury I had.

Steve: What?

Punishment Man: Come over here friend. I want a hug.

Steve: Something is not right about this at all but I can't figure out what.

The weakened Mayor struggles to stand up and holds on to his desk while on his knees.

Mayor: Old Man ... don't trust your friend .... he's under control of ..... The Puppeteer!!!

Steve: The Puppeteer???

The man with his arm up Punishment Man's bottom finally introduces himself.

The Puppeteer: Yes. I used to work on a kids show with puppets. I would stuck my arms up the puppet's butts to control them ... but soon learned I could control fellow humans as well!

The Mayor: He's a very dangerous super villain! Be careful!

Steve: Ok ... but I gotta say, this is the most ridiculous super villain I've ever encountered... oh wait, a penny!

Steve bends down to pick up the penny.

Mayor: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

As Steve bends down his eyes grow huge when his butt-hole is invaded by The Puppeteer's free arm! Steve and Punishment Man are now both standing up with The Puppeteer's arms each elbow deep into their butts.

The Puppeteer: I think it's time you got rid of your friend!

Steve begins to raise his gun and has no control over himself while a single tear falls! The gun is getting closer and closer to Punishment Man's head!

Suddenly! The Mayor charges over with some kind of flower pot!

The Puppeteer: Oh no! Both of my hands are occupied and I can't defend myself!

The Mayor smashes the pot on The Puppeteer's head! The Puppeteer rolls back, freeing Steve and Punishment Man. The Puppeteer crawls around in a daze and the mayor passes out from exhaustion.

Steve: I'm free!

Punishment Man: Me too! But my bottom hurts!

The Puppeteer begins to stand but is staggering.

Steve: Get him!

Punishment Man: I need my gun!

Punishment Man takes the gun but The Puppeteer kicks it out of his hand and out the window, breaking the glass!

Punishment Man: Oh crap! Now what?

Steve: Just fight him! He's weakened!

Punishment Man: I don't really fight, I just stick guns down people's mouths!

Steve: JUST DO IT!!!

The Puppeteer punches Punishment Man in the face! Punishment Man takes a step back!

Steve: Fight back! And protect your bottom!!!

Punishment Man throws some wild slaps and resembles a girl fighting.

Steve: What the ....

Punishment Man pulls at The Puppeteer's hair while The Puppeteer wildly tries to grab Punishment Man's bottom.

Punishment Man: Leave my bottom alone!

The Puppeteer: Leave my hair alone!!

Punishment Man scratches at The Puppeteer's eyes!

The Puppeteer: Did you just ... claw me???

Punishment Man: There's more where that came from, jabberwocky!

Punishment Man throws a wild kick but loses his balance and falls into a bookshelf which collapses on him. The Puppeteer reaches down to put his hand in Punishment Man's bottom!

Steve: Oh no!

Steve thinks fast and throws the penny right in The Puppeteer's eye!

The Puppeteer: MY EYE!!!! MY ONE TRUE WEAKNESS!!!

The Puppeteer trips and falls out the broken window where the gun was kicked out of earlier.

Steve looks down to see The Puppeteer is completely smashed and dead on the ground.

~~~

On the awkward drive back to Brittlecliff, there is nothing but silence.

Steve: ... do you want to talk about it?

Punishment Man: What is there to talk about?

Steve: Well ... ummmmm.... where did you learn how to fight?

Punishment Man: smurf you!

Steve: Sorry but ... you do need to work on that.

Punishment Man: No I don't! I usually always have my gun! I never have to worry about fighting when I have my gun!

Steve: Yeah but ... you need a plan for when you lose your gun ... you need to be prepared for all things.

Punishment Man: Is that what you think?

Steve: I never even used a gun when I was a hero!

Punishment Man: Well aren't you fancy?

Steve: I think I can help you out man.

~~~

Steve is back in his apartment. Vorthon and Punishment Man are each wearing boxing gloves and head gear.

Punishment Man: Is this really necessary?

Steve: Hell yes! You need to learn how to fight. Vorthon here is a great boxer!

Vorthon: Yup. I could have been the champion of the world back in my day.

Punishment Man: What happened?

Vorthon: Well, it's a long story, you see...

Steve: No time for back stories, just teach him to fight!

Vorthon shows him some jabs and punches and etc.

Vorthon: Ok, now let's just have a light sparring match, ok?

Punishment Man: Ok...

They throw some light jabs back and forth but Punishment Man can't land a single hit.

Vorthon: Come on hit me!

Punishment Man: I'm trying!

Vorthon: Stop trying! Just do it! I'm a super villain! Hit me!

Punishment Man keeps missing and is getting very frustrated.

Punishment Man: smurf!!!!

Vorthon: Calm down! Focus!

Punishment Man: smurf THIS!!!!

Punishment Man throws his gloves across the room and begins to leave.

Punishment Man: I gotta call my anger management instructor!

Punishment Man has now left the room.

Vorthon: That guy's smurf.

Steve: I know. He could never be a super hero!

Sted: Well you better fix him! And fast!

Steve: SON OF A jabberwocky!!! STOP SNEAKING UP ON ME LIKE THAT!!!

Sted: Get used to it, because I'm going to be a big part of your life until we get a new hero to bring order back to this chaotic world and fill Steroids Woman's absence!

Steve: But ....

Sted is gone.

Steve: smurf ME!!!

Vorthon: Wanna box?

Steve: Hell no! You'll clearly kick my bottom!

Vorthon: Could be fun.

~~~

Punishment Man walks down the streets very sadly.

Punishment Man: Why did my horrible secret come out? Nobody should have known I'm a crappy fighter! If I only never lost my gun .... I can usually bluff my way out of most situations!

Punishment Man finds himself at his favourite restaurant.

Punishment Man: Maybe this will cheer me up.

Punishment Man walks in to see a "wait to be seated" sign.

Punishment Man: Wait to be seated? Since when? It used to be seat yourself!

A waiter comes by with a tray of drinks.

Waiter: I'll be with you in a minute, sir!

Punishment Man: Go ahead and take your time. I'll be sitting over there!

Waiter: That table isn't ready. Please wait and I'll seat you!

Punishment Man: I can seat myself damn it! I'm a grown man! smurf YOU!!

Waiter: Excuse me?

Punishment Man: Excuse these!

Punishment Man flips off the waiter.

Waiter: Ok, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Punishment Man begins to run his mouth so loud that the whole restaurant can hear and looks over.

Punishment Man: Do you know who I am? I'm punishment Man! Now you take my order right now or I'll beat the shazam! out of you, do you understand me? I am tough! I know how to fight! I'll kill you for a joke! I'm a man damn it and you can't do this to me! I won't let you! Now are you going to take my order or will I have to beat your snobby bottom to the ground? I will smurf you up and wipe my bottom with you like bad toilet paper!

The waiter takes his tray of drinks and smashes Punishment Man over the face with it! Punishment Man crawls around as the waiter boots him in the ribs a bunch of times! The restaurant cheers as this loud jerk gets what he deserves! The waiter is relentless and continues to kick and stomp Punishment Man all over!!

~~~

Cut to the hospital. We show Punishment Man in a hospital room hooked to machines and covered in bandages. Steve, Vorthon, a nurse and Sted look on.

Sted: He better be ok, or else we are going to have a lot of work to do!

Steve: I'm sure he will be fine.

Suddenly Punishment Man's heart monitor flat-lines.

Nurse: Yup, he's dead.

Steve: Son of a jabberwocky!

Sted: I guess we're going to be seeing A LOT more of each other!

Steve: NO!

Sted: What?

Steve: Damn it man! I'm retired and can't be playing these games anymore! I'm waaay too old for this! I already played the "search all over for a new hero" game before and am not doing it again!

Sted: You owe this country! It needs you right now!

Steve: I already did my part for this country!

Sted: Some hero you turned out to be!

Steve: Deal with it.

Sted: I will not deal with it! I'm not taking no for an answer here!

Steve: *sigh* ... what if I told you Weed Man was still alive?

Sted: What?

Steve: Yeah. He lives in a cabin out in the Willmore forest.

Sted: Are you serious?

Steve: Yes, very serious. Will you leave me alone now?

Sted: If I can find him and get him to be a hero again, I surely will!

Steve: Good because I never want to see you ....

Sted is gone.

Steve: ... again.

Vorthon: You kind of sold your buddy out, didn't ya?

Steve: He should get out more anyway.

~~~

Cut to the morgue.

A man wheels a dead body to another room. The dead body is under a sheet.

Morgue Worker: What a boring job.

Suddenly an arm reaches out from under the sheet!

Morgue Worker: What the......

Suddenly the Morgue Worker has an evil look about him.

Morgue Worker: The Puppeteer lives again!!!