Chapter 169 --> Room Mates

[Clarence]

About a week or so has passed and everyone in Brittlecliff is mostly better from the last episode where children were sent to spread germs everywhere by Mr. Hamburger of the rival nursing home, Grimm Valley.

Cut to Vorthon and Steve's room.

Vorthon: I feel a lot better today!

Vorthon throws some punches in the air.

Vorthon: I could do a boxing match today!

Steve: Damn you got energy man. I'm jealous.

Vorthon: We should go for a drive or something, it's a beautiful day!

Steve: Yeah... wanna go for a walk instead?

Vorthon: What ever you want to do, buddy!

Vorthon looks out the window and can't find his car in the parking lot.

Vorthon: Hmmm... that's strange.

Steve: Ummm ... what is?

Vorthon: I can't see my car out there ... I always park in the same spot....

Vorthon notices that Steve is breathing heavy and sweaty and looks nervous.

Vorthon: ...what happened?

Steve: Ok .... here's what happened and don't be mad!

Vorthon gets into a boxing stance and raises his fists.

Steve: It was a thief!!!!

Vorthon: What?

Steve: I was looking out the window and saw a thief steal your car!

Vorthon: WHAT?!?

Steve: He just picked the lock and hot wired it and it happened so fast there was nothing I could do!!

Vorthon: WHAT THE smurf!!!

Steve: I'm sorry! I didn't know how to tell you!!!

Vorthon: When did this happen???

Steve: ... before breakfast?

Vorthon looks very confused and shocked and suddenly looks over at the rack where he usually keeps his car keys to see .... no car keys.

Vorthon tries to remain calm but is beyond pissed!

Vorthon: ... where are the keys?

Steve: What?

Vorthon: You said he hot wired the car so ... why are the keys gone?

Steve: Oh .... OH! The keys .... yes .... I threw them out because .... I thought it would help you cope with losing your car better.

(Of course Steve tossed the keys in the woods after accidentally destroying the car)

Vorthon: Is that what happened?

Steve: Yes.

Vorthon: Where did you throw them out?

Steve: Our garbage ... but the janitor came and cleaned it out ....

Vorthon: No ... the janitor doesn't change the garbages until later.

Steve: Oh ... he did an early garbage changing run because ... he's going on vacation.

Vorthon goes to the garbage and sees it's quite full.

Vorthon: No, it hasn't been changed.

Steve: Ummmm... would you believe it has and I created a lot of garbage today?

Vorthon: No I wouldn't. So the keys are in here right?

Steve: Ummmm... well...

Vorthon: They would have to be!

Steve: Ok ... yes ... but ... you don't need them anymore and it would be hard to get at ... how about we go for a walk to get your mind off things?

Vorthon: No... I want my keys back.

Steve: Why?

Vorthon: Because I do! Will you get them out of the garbage for me?

Steve: Ummm... are you sure?

Vorthon: Very sure ....

Steve takes the garbage bin and sits in a chair and looks in.

Steve: I'm sorry Vorthon ... it's just so buried in there ...

Vorthon: Get it back.

Steve digs in the garbage and Vorthon can't believe this display as Steve keeps an obvious lie going.

Steve: I'm sorry man ... not seeing it ...

Vorthon: Cause they're not in there right?

Steve: Umm they sure are.

Steve is covered in garbage and lies at this point.

Steve: Ummm.... I think I'm sick *fake cough* *fake cough*

Vorthon raises his fist at Steve and is mega angry!

Vorthon: WELL YOU NEED TO GET BETTER VERY DAMN FAST!!!

Steve: OK! OK! I borrowed your car and it somehow accidentally rolled down a hill and into a lake!!!

Vorthon is red in the face with rage!

Steve: I'm super duper sorry!

Vorthon: That's the straw that broke the camel's back!

Vorthon rolls up his shirt sleeves.

Vorthon: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!

Vorthon runs at Steve and Steve throws the garbage contents at him and then suddenly and out of nowhere -- KABOOM!!!!!

A massive explosion rocks the nursing home!!

Steve and Vorthon look out the window where they can see another room of the nursing home has completely exploded!!

Steve: Wow! Let's focus on that because that's crazy!

Vorthon punches Steve in the face and knocks him down! Steve is bleeding all over.

Steve: You broke my nose!!!

Vorthon: YOU BROKE MY smurf CAR!! ONE OF THOSE THINGS IS MORE EXPENSIVE THAN THE OTHER!!!

Steve: ...but I'm so much closer to my nose than your car....

Vorthon: GET THE smurf OUT!!

Steve: But ... when can I come back?

Vorthon: Never! You don't live here anymore, got it?

Steve: But...

Vorthon (raises fist): You want another one?

Vorthon runs at him while shaking his fist and Steve takes off. Vorthon slams the door and locks it.

Steve sits himself down outside the door and is very sad.

Steve: Where am I going to go now?

~~~

Cut to Mr. Sandwich's office where he sits on his throne between his 3 evil colleagues. They meet with a strange old man covered in smoke and ashes. Sandwich JR is not in the office as he's at the exploded room trying to figure out what happened and what to do....

Mr. Sandwich: YOU smurf IDIOT!!!!

Elderly Bomb Expert: What?

Mr. Sandwich: YOU BLEW UP THE WRONG ROOM!!! ONE OF MY EVIL COLLEAGUES WAS ONE OF THE TWO GUYS YOU KILLED!!!!

Evil Colleague #4: Evil Colleague #3 was too young to die!

Evil Colleague #2: ... he was 86.

Elderly Bomb Expert: Well ... sorry. But I got the job done. Steve Morris is dead!

Mr. Sandwich: STEVE MANN!!! YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO KILL STEVE MANN!!!

Elderly Bomb Expert: Why are you calling me Man so much?

Suddenly the large screen in the office comes on. We show Mr. Hamburger and his 2 evil colleagues. Mr. Hamburger looks TERRIBLE and is crying and distraught.

Mr. Sandwich: What do you want? I'm busy!

Mr. Hamburger: I don't give a shazam!!! What did you do to Fluffy Meow Meow?!?!?

Mr. Sandwich: ... what?

Mr. Hamburger holds up his elderly dead white cat.

Mr. Sandwich: Oh that, yes I killed your cat.

##Flashback##

The janitor of Grimm Valley is on his smoking break outside when Mr. Sandwich pops out of the bushes.

Janitor: What the?

Mr. Sandwich: How would you like to work for me at double pay?

Janitor: Hell yes!

Mr. Sandwich: All you have to do is swap out Mr. Hamburger's cat pills with this rat poison!

Later...

Mr. Sandwich meets with his own janitor.

Mr. Sandwich: You're fired.

Janitor: oh...

##End Flashback##

Mr. Hamburger: WHY DID YOU DO THIS?!?!!?!?!?!!

Mr. Sandwich: Cause you're an balloon knot and just last week made us all sick....

Mr. Hamburger: Do you want us to go war!?!?

Mr. Sandwich: Ok, we both know that you're just all talk. You'll never really go to war with us!

Mr. Hamburger: You want to bet?? You must pay for what you've done!!!

Suddenly Steve busts into the room and to interrupt Mr. Sandwich, Mr. Hamburger, the elderly bomb expert and everyone else.

Steve: Can I switch rooms? My room mate kicked me out...

Mr. Sandwich: No you can't switch rooms!

Steve: Come on...

Mr. Hamburger's Colleague #1 (to Mr. Sandwich): Isn't he that Steve Mann guy you keep trying to kill?

Elderly Bomb Expert: That's Steve Man???

The elderly bomb expert pulls out an explosive and lights it!!!!

Elderly Bomb Expert: Now's my chance!

Steve: What the...

Mr. Sandwich: NOOOO!!!!!!

Mr. Hamburger: Awesome.

Everyone frantically runs out of the room and makes it out just in time before the bomb goes off!

Elderly Bomb Expert (still holding bomb): Wait come back!

KABOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The room explodes and Mr. Sandwich, his colleagues and Steve all cough as there's smoke and debris everywhere form the blown up office.

Steve: Ok ... I don't think I want to live here anymore.

Steve leaves as Sandwich JR goes to see what happened.

Sandwich JR: Dad are you ok?? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON AROUND HERE?!?!

~~~

Steve is wandering around outside Brittlecliff kicking a can around and wondering what the smurf he's suppose to do now with his elderly life.

Steve: *sobs* I'm homeless and old and everyone I love or who likes me is dead or hates me .....

Suddenly Steve finds something positive in his life to turn too.

Steve: Wait ... one person may still like me and even maybe take me in!

Some old guy: smurf YOU!!!!

Steve looks over to see some very elderly man in a motorized wheelchair.

Steve: Do I know you?

Some old guy: I remember you! You're the balloon knot from the grocery store who pushed me out of my last wheelchair and stole it!

Steve: Hmmmm....

Some old guy: You owe me a lot of money!!!

Steve: What the hell is that behind you?!

Some old guy: What?

The old man turns his wheelchair around. Steve pushes on the old man's back and knocks him out of the wheel chair!

Some old guy: No!!! Not again!!!

Steve jumps in the motorized wheelchair and speeds off!

Some old guy: You won't get me a third time, I promise you that!!!

~~~

Show Dave's secret cabin in the middle of the woods. Dave sits on his couch and smokes out of a large bong while watching Marvel movies.

Dave: Oh yeah, this if the life heh heh.

*SMASH*!!!

Steve comes smashing in through the window in his year 2035 super powerful motorized wheelchair! Glass and parts are thrown all over and Dave gets some of his bongs broken!

Dave: I don't remember this scene in the movie ...

Steve: Help me....

Dave: Oh shoot, that's real life!

Dave goes over and lifts the wheelchair off of Steve and helps him up.

Dave: Steve!

Steve: Hey man! Thought I would pop in for a visit....

Dave: Are you ok? You just smashed through a window....

Steve: Yeah, I'm so old I don't have much feeling in my body anyhow.

Dave: Nice to see you again man! Nice to have company!

Steve: I was thinking of being more than company....

Dave: Oh?

Steve: I'm kind of ... homeless now. Want a room mate?

Dave: Yes! I would love to have you for a room mate ... but ....

Steve: But...?

Dave: Can you help me get rid of my current room mate?

Suddenly this man enters the room. He has a huge bong and is beyond stoned. His eyes are red as hell. He is wearing tie dye pajamas and has serious dreadlocks which are dirty as hell. He is the most severe hippy you can ever see or imagine. He makes the Trivago Guy look like a wonderfully clean man.

Steve: Who the hell is that...

Dave: Sted ...

Steve: Sted ... from the FBI?

Dave: Yeah, let me tell you ....

##Flashback to a couple week ago or so##

Dave is in his cabin smoking weed and watching a 10 hour video about an oscillating fan.

Dave: This shazam! is bananas .... D O R I T O S ....

Dave is completely alone as always in his secret cabin where he never has visitors.

Sted: So it's true.

Dave: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Where the fu... how did you ... what???

Sted: My name is Sted from the FBI and you are Weed Man, yes?

Dave: How do you know this???

Sted: Steve told me everything. We need you to be a hero again, the world needs you!

Dave: I'm sorry FBI man ... but I'm not in the super hero business anymore...

Sted: Why? So you can spend all day, every day, stoned in your secret cabin, eating junk and watching nonsense?

Dave: Ya

Sted: It's time to be more productive with your life! You have talent that shouldn't be wasted and a whole planet of people who need a hero!

Sted takes a brownie off Dave's table and bites into it.

Dave: Oh... you maybe shouldn't have done that ... those are my most potent weed brownies yet.

Sted is suddenly standing in a more relaxed way instead of his usual rigid posture ... his eyes are instantly blood shot as hell.

Dave: Are you ok man...

Sted is licking his lips.

Sted: Did you put cotton in my mouth .... he he he he he he he he

Dave: Want some soda and chips?

Sted: Dude.... you just went inside my mind and read my taste buds ..... OMG THAT FAN IS FANTASTIC!!!

##End Flashback##

Sted is on the couch covered in crumbs and in all his hippy glory, sitting back with his hands by his legs and his palms up.

Sted (loudly): WHOA MAN!

Steve: ... he is completely ruined.

Dave: Yeah, and the surprising thing is he smokes more weed and eats more stuff than me...

Steve: How is that possible?

Dave: He's a super mooch and I don't know how to get rid of him.

Steve: So if I get rid of him I can live here?

Dave: For sure! That guy really is not fun......

Steve: Hmmmm....

Sted remains on the couch and scratches at his super dried out dreadlock hair ... which Steve lights on fire! Sted's hair immediately lights up like a Christmas tree!

Sted: OH smurf!!!!!

Sted runs and jumps out the window and disappears into the woods.

Steve: I got rid of him!

Dave: Yeah man ... that was quite horrifying and awful....

Steve: So we're room mates now?

Dave: Sure man. Just don't light anything else on fire or break any more windows and we're cool.

Steve: Sweet! Where's your bathroom because I have a lot of poop to make.

Dave: ...

~~~

Steve and Dave are outside and Dave is cooking a bunch of meat on his barbecue!

Dave: Oh yeah ... we're going to have a big glorious feast, bro!

Steve: Damn ... how have you not gained weight like last time you did nothing?

Dave: Well I try to go for hikes in the woods and stuff.

Steve: Better yet .... how do you have money?

Dave: I still deal weed from time to time.

Steve: Ah.

Steve looks down and sees a frisbee.

Steve: Hey! A circular flying toy!

Dave: Throw it here dude!

Steve throws the frisbee way too high by mistake but Dave does a super soldier enhanced leap and catches it!

Steve: Damn man. You still got it!

Dave: Here, man catch it back!

Dave tosses it back but Steve stumbles and falls into Dave's car making a HUGE dent!

Dave: Oh crap, are you ok?

Steve: Yeah.... I hurt my hip ... sorry about your cat!

Dave: Hey man, as long as your ok, accidents happen!

Steve: Don't worry, I will try not to have any more accidents!

(So many more accidents are on the way)

~~~

Dave takes Steve to the mall to buy some snacks and stuff. Steve decides to buy a pizza to make for Dave to sort of thank him for letting him live there.

Steve and Dave pack the groceries into the trunk.

Dave: Oh no!

Steve: ... what?

Dave: I forgot to buy Doritos!!

Steve: But you already bought Doritos....

Dave: But I forgot to buy more Doritos.

Steve: ...

Dave: Are you ok here for a second while I run back?

Steve: Sure.

Dave runs at super speed while Steve waits ... and is suddenly confronted by a strange man in a trench coat.

Steve: Hello....

Trench Coat Man: You want any drugs?

Steve: Ha ha ha, no thinks, I think I already got a good supply of weed!

Trench Coat Man: But what about magic mushrooms?

Steve: Hmmmm......

Steve thinks it would be fun to surprise Dave with magic mushrooms on his pizza.

Steve: Do you take credit card?

Trench Coat Man: Of course!

The man in the trench coat pulls out a machine to take credit cards and Steve hands over Vorthon's credit card.

After the transaction, the man in the trench coat leaves and Steve hides the mushrooms. Dave runs back super fast with bags and bags of Doritos.

Dave: Let's go!

~~~

Later that night Steve serves the pizza to Dave and they hang out on the couch.

Dave: Wow! This pizza is AMAZING!

Steve: Glad you like it man. Really wanted to thank you for letting me live here!

Dave: Awww... you didn't have to thank me.

They continue to eat pizza and Dave notices something.

Dave: Hey... your pizza doesn't have mushrooms.

Steve: Yeah, the magic mushrooms are just for you, I'm too old for that stuff!

Dave swallows slow and looks concerned.

Steve: I thought it would be fun for you to get high in a different way instead of weed all the time....

Dave: Are you kidding me?

Steve: No good?

Dave: Mushrooms effect me in a very specific way ....

Dave picks up a hand mirror and looks into it.

Dave: oh no ... it's happening!!

Steve: ???

~~~

Steve and Dave hang out on the couch. Dave is wearing a bright dress and has died his hair pretty pink and is wearing lipstick.

Steve: This is weird and uncomfortable...

Dave: Oh my gosh, did you want to talk about shoes??!

Steve: No....

Dave: Oh my goodness look at my NAILS ..... they're hideous!!!

Steve: ...

Dave: Nail polish time!! Yay!!!

Dave prances around and acts like a ditzy teenage girl until the mushrooms wear off.....

~~~

During the night, Sted the FBI guy is wrestling around with a deer in the middle of the woods somewhere. Sted is bald and has a burnt skull and is dirty and lost and confused.

Sted: WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!?!?

~~~

The next morning...

Steve wakes up on the couch and looks around the room. Dave enters the room with his bright pink hair and looks like shazam!, but is wearing his normal clothes again.

Steve: Morning brother....

Dave: Yeah..... please don't surprise me ever again, ok?

Steve: I had no idea that mushrooms would make you take on some weird teenage girl persona!

Dave: Why not? Crack turns me into an evil sailor and beer makes me into a terrible unstoppable party animal ... that's why I only do weed exclusively...

Steve: Sorry!!!

Dave: Yeah....

Steve: I got a question though ... how come you already had the dress and hair dye and all that...

Dave: From the last time I tried mushrooms! I went out of my mind and bought that stuff but never threw it out!

Steve: Ok ... a little suspicious though...

Dave: Ok... I'm going to drive to town and buy something to fix my hair ... want anything?

Steve: No thanks. Want me to come with you for company?

Dave: No.

Steve: Ok...

Dave leaves and Steve is home alone.

Steve: Hmmmm.... guess I may see what's on the television or the news. I never did really get a good grasp on life in the year 2035....

Suddenly there's a knock on the door.

Steve: Hmmm... I wonder who that is?

Steve opens the door to see .... nobody.

Steve: That's strange....

Suddenly something trips Steve and he stumbles around and looks down to see ... a flat and round robot vacuum.

Steve: Are you serious?!! I threw you in the garbage!

The robot vacuum's red light blinks in a very specific way.

(Translated to: I didn't find you at Brittlecliff so this was the next logical place to check!!)

Steve: I don't know what you're saying. I don't speak blinking light.

The vacuum charges at Steve and Steve dodges ... and crashes into the large television and smashes it ....

Steve: You bastard! You destroyed my TV!!

Steve takes one of Dave's overly large bongs and smashes the vacuum with it! The glass bong shatters and the vacuum continues to chase Steve!

Steve fights off the vacuum with bong after bong, destroying the bongs and other things in the cabin in the process.

The fight goes on and on until the cabin is in shambles and every item and every bong is broken.

Steve is covered in sweat and exhausted and clutches his zinc heart. The vacuum is actually damaged and dented and low on battery power.

The vacuum blinks it's red light in a very specific way.

(Translated to: You won this battle... but you won't win the war!)

The vacuum retreats to recharge and somehow fix itself up.

Steve: Yeah.... suck it, vacuum!

Steve collapses and takes a really good nap in the debris.

~~~

Dave pulls in with his dented car and comes back into his cabin with his supplies to fix his bright pink hair.

Dave: What the .....

Dave can't believe the state of his cabin .... quite literally and impressively ... EVERYTHING appears to be broken.

Dave: What .... what happened?

Steve: Thank goodness your home! I'm so hungry but way too sore to make myself food.

Dave: What ...? Why is all my stuff broken....

Steve: Oh that ... this vacuum cleaner has been after me and somehow found me here and I had to fight it ... I won though!

Dave: I'm not high enough to believe any of that....

Steve: But that's what happened!!!

Dave: I really need to get high.

Dave looks like he might cry.

Steve: ... are you ok?

Dave: Yeah ... *sniff* ... just kinda shocking to see this place so messed up.... I worked hard to build this place and now .... don't worry about it.

Dave leaves the room and Steve feels REALLY bad.

~~~

Dave works to fix some things and Steve tries his best to help....

(Steve helping is like wearing a heavy book-bag filled with sand on your back all day)

Dave works away all day fixing stuff and seems kind of sad and different as he goes about it.

As the sun sets....

Dave: Ok, good night man.

Steve: You're going to bed now? It's not that late.

Dave (sad): Yeah..... I'm just tired and could use some sleep.

Dave has left for his room and shuts and locks the door.

Steve: My poor brother ... I never seen him like this ... I think I know how to cheer him up!

Steve steals Dave's keys and car and quietly heads to the 24 hour ice cream store!

Steve: I'm going to buy him the biggest ice cream cake I can find! That will make him feel better!

Steve is at the ice cream store on the hill and leaves the car in N for "Not gonna move this time!"

Steve walks away from the car and then realizes something.

Steve: I made a horrible mistake!

Steve looks back at the car.

Steve: I left the keys in there!

But before Steve can get back to the car it rolls down the hill and down a cliff and into a lake and explodes.

Steve: Hmmmm.....

Steve goes into the ice cream store.

Steve: I would like your largest ice cream cake you have and a cab called please.

Steve gets the item and rides back with a taxi using Vorthon's credit card as usual.

Cab driver: Damn, how long is this dirt road?

Steve: Almost there but be quiet, I don't want to wake my room mate.

The cab driver drops off Steve in front of the cabin and leaves. Steve stumbles with the overly large ice cream cake.

Steve: Almost ... almost there....

Steve enters the cabin and trips and ice cream cake explodes and rains all over.

Steve: smurf!!!!!!

Steve goes to Dave's door and hears faint snoring.

Steve: Well.... at least I never woke the poor guy.

~~~

The next morning Dave goes into the living room find Steve ... and sticky floors.

Dave: What the ... why is everything sticky? And when did this many ants get in here...

Steve: Morning Dave, I'm not sure .... global warming?

Dave: Wha....

We hear birds chirping outside and Dave looks out the window.

Dave: At least it's a beautiful day today!

Steve: Maybe we should stay inside for a few weeks straight and play video games, how does that sound?

Dave says nothing and continues to look out the window.

Steve: Brother ...?

Dave: .... where's my car?

Steve: Look at these Doritos! I bet you want to eat those huh...

Dave: Yeah I do.

Steve: Whew.

Dave: But first ... where's the car?

Steve: I don't know how to tell you this man...

Dave: It's ok, tell me.

Steve: Ok... remember your room mate Sted?

Dave: Yes, that other annoying person...

Steve: ... well he came by and hot wired your car for revenge and took it away?

Dave: Really?

Steve: Yes .... there was nothing I could do ... he had a gun.

Dave: I see.

Dave looks over at where he normally keeps his keys to see that they're gone....

Dave: Ummmm........

Steve: So did you want to move on?

Dave: I'm just wondering .... where my car keys are....

Steve: Who cares? Your car is gone, let's just forget about it and be happy brothers!

Dave: Yeah.... sure ... but .... why would the keys be gone if he hot wired the car?

Steve: Maybe I tossed them in the woods to help you get over losing your car.

Dave: Ok, I suppose that makes sense.

Steve: Yeah, case closed as they say.

Dave: Hahahahaha

Steve: ha ha ha

Dave: Can you get them for me?

Steve: ... what?

Dave: The keys you tossed into the woods. Can you find them?

Steve: Well I threw them quite far....

Dave: Show me.

They are now outside the cabin.

Steve: I guess I threw them in that direction but ... could be anywhere now.

Dave: Let's look for them.

Steve: But ... you don't have a car anymore.

Dave: Right... but I really like those keys.

Steve: ok...

Steve and Dave pretend to search the woods for keys even though they both know that there is no keys to be found.

Dave: Strange... we can't find them.

Steve: Yeah... so weird.

Dave: Yes, how strange. As they really should be here unless you're lying. But you would never lie to me right brother?

Steve: Of course not.

Dave: So we should keep looking right?

Steve: Yes... I suppose we should.

Dave: Ok, we'll keep looking until we find it. Sound good?

Steve: Yes....

An hour of searching goes by.

Dave: We are really having a hard time with this, huh?

Steve: Yeah... maybe we should stop.

Dave: No, they're here, you said they were.

Steve: Well maybe ... a squirrel took them away or something.

Dave: You're really going to keep this going man? For reals?

Steve: Ummmm....

Dave: Just tell me the truth man. What really happened? Come on man, you can do it.

Steve: Ok .... I took your car without asking and ... it rolled down a hill and into a lake and is gone! I'm sorry!!!!

Dave just stands there with his eyes closed and breathing slowly and calmly.

Steve: D ... Dave?

Dave: Ok, I'm going for a long walk. Won't be back for a while.

Steve: Where are you going?

Dave: I'm going to have to walk to town and get a rental car.

Steve: I'm so very sorry!

Dave: No worries.

Dave leaves.

Steve: I'll fix this brother, I promise!!

~~~

Steve prepares the barbecue with some meat he found in the deep freeze.

Steve: If this doesn't fix things, I don't know what will!

Steve gets the barbecue going and is cooking the steaks and etc and doing good so far.

Steve: Going good so far!

...then Steve's long shirt catches on fire as he neglected to notice that it was hanging into the barbecue for a while while he was standing there...

Steve: Oh shazam!! I need water!!!

Steve runs into the cabin to find water but forgets that he has worn out elderly legs.

Steve: Oh shazam!!!!

Steve trips and stumbles on the floor rugs which have absorbed the essence of a million bong hits. Steve's a lot more on fire now!

Steve: Need to roll ... but so old.

Steve very slowly rolls around but can't get the fire out and it spreads to the carpeting.

Steve makes it to the bath tub and turns the shower on and finally gets the flames off himself. Steve looks down to his numb body to see he has considerable burns.

Steve: Damn.

Steve then sees the floor is completely on fire from the crazy old rug which is dry and filled with marijuana smoke.

Steve: Oh no!

Steve turns the shower head into the hallway in an attempt to put out the fire! Meanwhile outside, the barbecue is completely on fire with high flames shooting out, a wind moves the flames to the cabin and broken windows catching the curtains on fire....

Steve makes it outside as the cabin catches more and more on fire...

Steve: What can I do???

Steve goes into a near by shed and finds a blow torch.

Steve: Of course ... the only way to fight fire is WITH fire!!

Steve ensures the cabin is really well burnt down by lighting more of it on fire with the blow torch....

~~~

Dave comes home in the rental car and gets out and full on cries at what he sees while lighting a joint. There's nothing left but hot coals all over.

Steve is now in his underwear and keeps the fire going by fanning it with his pants.

Steve: This is one tenacious fire that WON'T quit!!!

Dave: What ... what happened???

Steve: ... wild bears.

Dave: WHAT THE smurf!?!?!?!?

Steve takes a step back as he never seen Dave so mad.

Dave: I .... I had everything here.... this place was all I had.....

Steve: You still have me!

Dave raises his fist but calms himself down and lowers it.

Dave: Brother...

Steve: Yesum?

Dave *twitch*: What say you ... we go to pizza store now....

Steve: Oh boy, pizza!

They get in the rental car and Dave drives as fast as physically possible down the dirt road.

Steve: Holy crap man! Maybe you should slow down!!!

Dave: Nope.

Dave drives like a maniac through town and they finally come to a stop.

Dave: Ok ... *twitch* ... let's get out and have pizza.

Steve gets out of the car and looks over to see he's back in front of the Brittlecliff nursing home.

Steve: This isn't the pizza store....

Steve looks back to see Dave speeds off and his car kicks up smoke and is GONE.

Steve coughs and tries to swat the smoke and exhaust fumes away and gets dizzy and passes out and once again is taken into Brittlecliff...

~~~

Cut to a back up office set up for Mr. Sandwich and his three colleagues.

Mr. Sandwich: How are repairs coming along?

Sandwich JR: slow but steady ....

Mr. Sandwich: Fix it faster!

Sandwich JR: We're trying Dad, but considering how much money this place bleeds out daily we're lucky to get it done at all.

Suddenly a disgruntled man enters the room.

Mr. Sandwich: Who the hell are you?

Disgruntled Man: You don't remember? I was your janitor before you fired me for no reason.....

Sandwich JR (to Dad): Why??

Mr. Sandwich: Because the janitor from Grimm valley defected over to us and we couldn't afford to keep both.

Sandwich JR: ....

Disgruntled Man: Yes, but things looked up for me. In this terrible economy, I landed a new janitor job at three times the pay!

Evil Colleague #2: Holy crap that's a lot of money!

Disgruntled Man: Yes ... but there is only one stipulation before I can get my pay check.

Sandwich JR: What's that?

The Disgruntled Man pulls out a gun and shoots Sandwich JR dead.

Everyone is shocked.

Mr. Sandwich: SON!!!!!

The Disgruntled Man removes his jacket to reveal a "Grimm Valley" janitor uniform.

Disgruntled Man: Done and done!

The disgruntled man leaves while Mr. Sandwich checks on his son and cries.

Mr. Sandwich: No son ... this can't be .... it can't be....

The evil colleagues all stand around Mr. Sandwich...

Mr. Sandwich gets up and looks sad but with new determination in his eyes.

Mr. Sandwich: That's it! It's time!!!

Evil Colleague #1: Time for what?

Mr. Sandwich: ...war

!!!