Chapter 170 --> The Last Battlefield

[Clarence]

Inside Brittlecliff...

Steve wakes up to see he is in a crappy room.....

Steve: Where ... where am I?

Vorthon: You are guest starring in the hell which is my life.

Steve: Morgan Freeman!??!

Vorthon: It's me! Vorthon!!! They found you passed out outside and once again put you in my room!

Steve: Hello friend!

Vorthon: Can you please put some clothes on?!?

Steve looks down to see he's only wearing underwear and burn marks and wrinkles.

Steve: I have no clothes.... I have nothing but this underwear ....

Steve cries into his hands when a joint falls out of his hair.

Vorthon: What's that?

Steve: Huh ... it must be one of Dave's joints....

Vorthon: Like the kind we all smoked last time he was over and fought a robot?

~~~

Steve is now wearing extra clothes that Vorthon had and they are both really high.

Vorthon: I forgive you man.

Steve: Are you sure?

Vorthon: As long as I'm smoking this you can do no wrong!

Steve: Awesome! Here's your credit card back!

Vorthon is very angry but inhales on the joint again and is fine.

Vorthon: Thank you.

Suddenly a red light in the room starts blinking and an a strange alarm is sounded.

Steve: What the smurf....

Vorthon: Oh no...

Steve: What does it mean?

Vorthon: ... it means that war has been declared with another nursing home ...

Steve: Wha...

Mr. Sandwich (over loud speakers): Everyone assemble at the kitchen area at once!!!

~~~

All the residents and employees are in the kitchen confused and chattering. Mr. Sandwich and his 3 evil colleagues enter the room. Mr. Sandwich begins to speak on a microphone.

Mr. Sandwich: The time has come for war....

Everyone chatters and makes concerned sounds.

Mr. Sandwich: Soon we will go to battle with Grimm Valley. I don't have to tell you all how important winning this war is ... losing this war will mean those who live here will become homeless... and those who work here will be out of jobs...

Steve: What the .....

Mr. Sandwich lowers his microphone and talks to his evil colleagues.

Mr. Sandwich: What is HE doing here? I thought he left?

Evil Colleague #4: I guess he's back....

Evil Colleague #1: What should we do?

Mr. Sandwich: Is the labyrinth ready?

Evil Colleague #1: Yes... but are you sure...

Mr. Sandwich: Yes damn it!

Everyone is confused as Mr. Sandwich is whispering to his colleagues. Mr. Sandwich picks up the microphone again and addresses the audience.

Mr. Sandwich: Everyone meet back here in one hour! We will have to train and prepare for the great battle!

Everyone disperses. Steve and Vorthon talk in the hallway. They are still slightly high.

Steve: Ok... what is this war?

Vorthon: It is the moment all elderly people who live in one of these places fear most.... when one nursing home has to battle another nursing home.

Steve: I never heard of such a thing!

Vorthon: This is typical retirement home living...

Steve: I never knew ... I never knew what it was like to live in one of these places...

Vorthon looks very concerned and upset.

Steve: ... are you ok?

Vorthon: No man, this is bad. We all have so much to lose.

Steve: I'll help man. I'll do what ever I can.

Vorthon: All we can do now is fight and hope the death toll isn't too high....

Steve: Damn man, this is really bumming me out!

~~~

Mr. Sandwich and his 3 evil colleagues are in a secret room with a large TV. The TV turns on to see Mr. Hamburger and his two colleagues.

Mr. Sandwich: You killed my son you bastard!! I have no choice but to...

Mr. Hamburger: Declare war? Yes I know and you have already broken one of the established nursing home war rules.

Mr. Sandwich: What...

Mr. Hamburger: Announcing the war to your retirement home before to me is against the code of conduct! I know everything that goes on down there!

Mr. Sandwich: Well know this! We are going to come at you with a fury you can't even imagine. So get ready!

Mr. Hamburger: Oh I am ready, I already booked Thompson Park for this Wednesday at 8 AM as the battlefield!

Mr. Sandwich: We're suppose to agree where the war will take place!

Mr. Hamburger: Oh no, did I break a war rule too?

Mr. Sandwich: Fine. Thompson Park, Wednesday, 8 AM. It's on!

Mr. Hamburger laughs and the transmission cuts.

Evil Colleague #1: Now what?

Mr. Sandwich: We have a few days to train everyone for battle .....

Evil Colleague #4: And Steve Mann?

Mr. Sandwich: Get him to the labyrinth now!

~~~

Steve and Vorthon are in their room.

Steve (standing up): Cheer up Vorthon. They don't know who they are messing with! You're a champion boxer and I'm a former super hero! They don't stand a chance!

Vorthon (more positive): Maybe you're right.

Steve: We're going to win, I promise! I won't let anything happen to you! We're not going to be homeless!

Vorthon (standing up): Ok! Let's get ready for this and get it over with!

Suddenly the evil colleagues of Mr. Sandwich enter the room.

Steve: Hmmm???

One of the evil colleagues uses a large bow and arrow and shoots Steve with it!

Vorthon: Hey!!

Steve passes out and the evil colleagues begin to drag him out of the room.

Vorthon: Stop that right now!

Evil Colleague #1 aims his bow and arrow at Vorthon.

Evil Colleague #1: This doesn't concern you.

The evil colleagues drag Steve away and Vorthon can do nothing but look on in shock...

~~~

The labyrinth begins.

Steve wakes up in a strange small room with an odd colour scheme. The walls are blue on the bottom half and have red and white stripes on the top half. Steve stands up and looks around.

Steve: Where am I???

Steve sees two doors. One has a red X painted on it and no door knob. The other door has a slot for a key and the number 2 painted on it. Steve tries the #2 door but is locked.

Steve: This is so strange....

Steve stands in the middle of the room and is very confused. There is nothing else in this room.

Steve: Ok Steve... let's figure this out....

While Steve stands and thinks, a figure begins to appear from the wall behind him. He blends in with the wall colours as he's wearing blue pants and a woolly sweater that has red and white stripes. He also has thick glasses and a red and white touque.

Steve: Hmmm...

This young man who looks exactly like Where's Waldo sneaks up on Steve and gets him in a strangle hold from behind!

Steve: What the ... *gasp* ... *choke* !!

Steve is being strangled and there's nothing he can do. The strangler remains silent and very creepy like and keeps a calm expression on his face.

Steve: Let me ... *cough* ... go!

The man's arms get tighter around Steve's neck!

Steve: Your sweater is ... *gasp* ... warm and itchy!!!

Steve flails his arms all over and tries to grab the man who is behind him. Steve knocks off the man's glasses and pokes him in the eyes with his fingers.

Strange Man: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Steve breaks free and turns around but can't see the man as his clothes match the colour scheme of the room walls.

Steve: Show yourself!!!

Steve suddenly spots him and runs and tackles him! The man is distracted because of his injured eyes and loses his balance and smashes his head against the wall and is knocked out!

Steve: Whew ... what the hell.

Steve looks down and sees a key around the man's belt.

Steve: Hmmm....

Steve takes the key and opens the door marked #2.

Steve goes into a room with blinking lights. The room keeps switching from completely dark to completely lit. It's enough to cause a seizure! The door closes behind Steve!

Steve: Oh no!

Steve tries to get out of the rapidly blinking room. Steve sees that the door which closed on him has no door knob and a large X on it!

Steve: Come on!

Steve looks across the room and despite the lights going on and off he can see another door marked #3.

Unknown voice: Welcome to hell!

Steve is able to see an elderly man on a couch with lamps on either side of him going on and off.

Steve: What is this!?

Elderly Man: Having a hard time?

Steve: Yes, these blinking lights are annoying and making it hard to see!

Elderly Man: Really? I'm just fine.

Steve: What?

Elderly Man: I have reverse epilepsy. Normal and unchanging light gives me seizures ... but this blinking light is my comfortable spot! I can't be defeated here!

Reverse Epilepsy Man charges at Steve!

Steve: Oh no!

Steve and Reverse Epilepsy Man struggle to fight in the blinking room. They are evenly matched in strength but Steve is having a hard time seeing!

Steve: This isn't fair.

Reverse Epilepsy Man: My whole life hasn't been fair!!

Steve gets knocked down and Reverse Epilepsy Man kicks him a bunch of times. Steve desperately crawls to the couch and the fight resumes.

Reverse Epilepsy Man: DIE!!!!

Reverse Epilepsy Man takes a couch cushion and tries to suffocate Steve! Steve finds a remote control and smashes Reverse Epilepsy Man over the head with it!

Reverse Epilepsy Man: Ouch!

Reverse Epilepsy Man stumbles across the room and Steve thinks fast!

Steve: Say goodbye to your blinking lights!

Reverse Epilepsy Man: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Steve smashes the lamps in the room causing it to go from blinking to very dark but some light coming in through door cracks.

Reverse Epilepsy Man: No.... level of light is too consistent ... my reverse epilepsy!!!

Reverse Epilepsy Man has a seizure on the floor! Steve uses the remote control he found to turn a TV on in the room and provide more light. Steve goes over to Reverse Epilepsy Man's body and sees a key on his belt.

Steve: Alright, let's see what's next!

Steve enters another dark room and once again the previous door shuts behind him and has no door knob and a large X.

Steve: smurf....

Steve looks around the dark room and sees a strange man with glowing green goggles on his head.

Steve: What are you???

Glowing Eyes Man: Don't remember me?

Steve: No I don't remember a man with glow in the dark green goggles, sorry!

Glowing Eyes Man: It's me ... CYRUS!!!

Steve: Ok ... hello.

Cyrus: Damn it man, you caused me to lose my eyes, remember?

Steve: I remember none of this ... can I have your key now?

Cyrus: This is the end of the Labyrinth for you! When Mr. Sandwich called me to be a part of this I jumped at the chance! I been waiting forever for REVENGE!

(Mr. Sandwich searched the internet for people who may want to have a personal reason to be in the Labyrinth)

Steve stumbles around the room looking for a way out of this.

Cyrus: With my new improved goggles I can see again ... I can see in the dark! I can see EVERYTHING!!

Steve: So what are you going to do? Stare at me to death?

Cyrus: I can see so well... I can see my fists ... My fists I will use to beat you to death!

Steve keeps frantically moving around feeling around for a weapon.

Cyrus: You're so old now ... this will be AWESOME!

Steve: I'm sorry!

Cyrus: ... what?

Steve: I'm trying something new here. I'm sorry for what you say I've done...

Cyrus: NO! YOU WILL NOT APOLOGIZE TO ME! I WISH I DREW #1 SO I COULD HAVE KILLED YOU FASTER!!!

Cyrus runs at Steve! Steve feels his way to a light switch and flicks it on and illuminates the room!

Cyrus: shazam! BALLS!!! THAT'S BRIGHT AS smurf!!!

Steve: No it's not...

Cyrus is on his knees crying and tears run down between his goggles and face.

Cyrus: It was set on night vision!!! I burnt out my optic nerves!!! I can see less than ever now!!!

Steve: Can I have my key now?

Cyrus: Oh just take it!

Cyrus rips the key off his belt and Steve opens door #4. The door closes behind him and there's a X on the door. Across the new room is a door #5.

Steve: Ummmm....

Steve sees an old man in a black costume with a W on it.... the man is extremely old and looks lifeless and sits on a chair.

Steve: What the hell?

Steve pokes at the body.

Steve: Yup... this guy is dead... guess I'll take his key.

Voice from behind door #5: WHAT!??!?!?!

Suddenly door #5 opens and a very old man wearing a costume with TB on it enters the room with Steve and the dead man.

Steve: Hey, it's not your turn yet!

Man with TB on costume: No... he's dead!

Steve: Ok.... Give me your key.

Man with TB on costume: Do you know who that man is?

Steve: No.

Man with TB on costume: He was Dr. Worse, son of Dr. Bad!

Steve: And you are...

Man with TB on costume: I am the son of Dr. Worse .... I am Dr. Tremendously Bad!!

Steve: For crying out loud... just give me your key so I can finish this stupid Labyrinth.

Dr. Tremendously Bad: No! In fact I'm going to take my father's key so you will be two keys away from advancing.

Dr. Tremendously Bad takes the key to door #5 and also possesses the key to door #6.

Steve: Give it back!

Dr. Tremendously Bad: You'll never defeat me!

Dr. Tremendously Bad and Steve wrestle but are evenly matched as they are both elderly.

They smash each other against wall after wall and Dr. Tremendously Bad gets the upper hand!

Dr. Tremendously Bad: AHA!!!

Dr. Tremendously Bad knocks Steve down and Steve crawls around while getting kicked.

Steve: smurf!!!

Steve gets away and pushes Dr. Worse's corpse out of it's chair.

Dr. Tremendously Bad: YOU MONSTER!!

Dr. Tremendously Bad and Steve push each other around! Dr. Tremendously Bad grabs the chair in the room!

Dr. Tremendously Bad: Take this!

Dr. Tremendously Bad smashes the chair over Steve! Steve is knocked down and hurt!

Dr. Tremendously Bad: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU NOW!!!

Vorthon: Oh know you won't!

Dr. Tremendously Bad: ... what?

PUNCH!!!

Vorthon knocks out Dr. Tremendously Bad with a swift right hand!

Steve (looking up): Vorthon ...?

Vorthon helps Steve up.

Steve: Vorthon ... you saved me! How did you know I was here?

Vorthon: Because I drew #6.

Steve: What...

Vorthon: Well I was pretty sore at you when you wrecked my car ... so I joined the Labyrinth.

Steve: You were going to kill me????

Vorthon: Yeah... but I changed my mind. I didn't realize that when Mr. Sandwich's men kidnapped you that the Labyrinth was going to begin, so when they called me to be in it I decided to participate anyway to protect you.

Steve: You are a true friend!

Vorthon: Well you inspired me man. You gave me hope and we need you in this war! Let's finish this damn Labyrinth and find Mr. Sandwich!

Steve: You're going to help me?

Vorthon: Hell yeah! Together we can conquer anything!

Vorthon throws some punches in the air.

Vorthon: This Labyrinth is just a warm up man! Let's get it on!

Steve and Vorthon effortlessly finish the Labyrinth together defeating one silly adversary after another in room after room.

~~~

In the kitchen, all the tables and stuff are moved out of the way. Mr. Sandwich and his evil colleagues are leading a fighting class to prepare for the war.

Show a bunch of elderly residents using walking canes and doing a series of combat moves.

Mr. Sandwich: Excellent, let's show this to Mr. Hamburger!

A large flat screen lowers from the ceiling and Mr. Hamburger comes on the screen.

Mr. Sandwich: Take a look at my soldiers in action! You stand no chance!!

Mr. Hamburger: Aww that's cute.

All of the Brittlecliff residents look sad and defeated.

Mr. Hamburger: Here's mine.

Show Mr. Hamburger's men at Grimm Valley with better walking canes and much better moves.

Mr. Hamburger laughs and laughs and then puts on a crown.

Mr. Hamburger: I can't wait to go from number two to number one nursing home!

The transmission ends. All the residents of Brittlecliff moan and make sad noises.

Mr. Sandwich: Don't worry! I know how to motivate you all to do better!

Mr. Sandwich turns to the evil colleagues.

Mr. Sandwich: Get out the whips.

Suddenly! Steve and Vorthon bust into the room! They both look like they been in fights but Steve looks especially worse for wear.

Mr. Sandwich: You!? What are you doin...

Steve: Shut up!!!

Everyone gasps!

Steve: I survived the Labyrinth!

Everyone gasps again!

Evil Colleague #2: That's ... impossible.

Evil Colleague #4: Nobody has ever survived ... the Labyrinth!

Steve: Well I did, and you want to know why? Because I'm a survivor!

Everyone is impressed and listens to what Steve has to say.

Steve: Vorthon here did help me after the first few levels.

Vorthon: We kicked bottom!

Steve: I survived the Labyrinth, I survived the coma, I survived the zinc heart, I survived losing my family, I survived fighting demons and all sorts of bad guys, I survived EVERYTHING that has ever been thrown at me for YEARS AND YEARS!

Steve goes up to Mr. Sandwich in front of the crowd.

Steve: How many times have you tried to have me killed huh?

Mr. Sandwich: A lot...

Steve: Yeah and I came out on top every time! What does this mean? This means I'm onstoppable and best of all, I'm on your side! Everyone listen! We can win this war! Me and Vorthon here will make sure you're all ready, what do you say?

The crowd cheers and even so do the evil colleagues. Steve reaches his hand out to Mr. Sandwich.

Steve: Come on. You need me. We all need each other. Let's do this!

Mr. Sandwich slowly shakes Steve's hand back.

Mr. Sandwich: Fine. Just get them all ready. Make us win!

Steve: You got it!

~~~

Show some kind of montage of Steve and Vorthon teaching all the residents, maintenance staff, nurses and others how to fight and box and what ever else they know. Everyone in Brittlecliff is a lot more confident and ready for this war now!

~~~

The War begins...

We show a large empty park with PLENTY of room for action. Each side has gathered up and are facing each other on opposite ends of the field.

Steve and Vorthon stand on the front lines with Mr. Sandwich and his 3 evil colleagues. Behind them is all the workers and residents of Brittlecliff. On the other side of the park field is Mr. Hamburger and his 2 evil colleagues and behind them all their workers and residents of Grimm Valley.

The leaders yell at each other from across the field.

Mr. Sandwich: It's time!!!

Mr. Hamburger (checking watch): Actually ... it's 7:53 ... so we're kind of early...

Mr. Sandwich: smurf it! Let's begin! CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Hamburger: CHARGE!!!!!

The leaders and their colleagues stand in place while their men run past each other to battle.

Steve (to Mr. Sandwich): Come on!

Mr. Sandwich: Leader doesn't fight. Go get them.

Steve: You really are an balloon knot!

Steve and Vorthon run to the fight and all hell breaks loose!

Mr. Sandwich and his colleagues and Mr. Hamburger and his colleagues watch on from a safe distance as a shazam! load of fighting happens in the middle! Old people hitting each other with canes and walkers and those metal intravenous stand things. Nurses fight with opposing nurses with bed pans and etc. Maintenance men on each side battle each other with mops and etc!

Vorthon is using his boxing skills to punch out enemy old person after old person.

Steve: Good job, buddy!

Steve fights dirty and pokes his enemies in the eyes and shazam!.

As the fighting goes on a strange figure flies in the sky.

Random old person: Is it a bird?

Other random old person: Is it ... a protractor?

Flying Man: No ... it's me! Math Man!

Math Man lands in the middle of the battlefield and has a blue dorky super hero costume and bright yellow cape. A large M on his chest and mathematical equations sketched all over his uniform.

Math Man: I am the new town superhero replacement! And I am here to stop this fighting!

The fighting continues uninterrupted as Math Man's words fall on deaf ears (in many cases literally).

Math Man (weak voice): Guys... please stop.

Math Man goes around and tries to break up fights without actually physically interacting with people.

Math Man (weak voice): Hey... guys ....

Two elderly guys remain fighting as Math Man stands there.

Math Man (weak voice): I think you guys should ... stop... super please?

Suddenly a random LARGE and muscular old man punches out a bunch of Brittlecliff men!

Vorthon: Hey you!!!

The large old man looks over.

Vorthon: You want to get into a punching match with someone, do it with ME!

Large old Man: I'm gonna knock you out!

Vorthon: Bring it!

Vorthon and the large old man exchange punches and good techniques, each able to block when needed.

Large old Man: I used to box professionally!

Vorthon: Back at ya!

The continue to punch each other and things get really intense!

Steve struggles to fight off multiple Grimm Valley residents but is growing tired and clutches his heart.

Steve: Damn.... I'm not a kid anymore!

Steve takes a intravenous stand and swings it around like a mad man taking out a lot of elderly residents of both sides.

Steve: Oops! *pant* *pant*

Suddenly a bunch of cop cars pull into the parking lot. As this happens a shadowy figure watches from a building in the distance.

Shadowy Figure: Now.... blow them up.

!! ** ~~KABOOM~~ ** !!

The parking lot EXPLODES and cop cars and officers and parts are OBLITERATED and sent flying all over!

Steve: What the hell is happening!?

Vorthon and the large boxer continue to exchange blows but Vorthon is looking tired!

Cut back to the shadowy figure watching from the secret building. He is sitting on a large throne next to two evil associates. We get a good look at them now to see they are all very old.

Old man who blew up cops: Perfect... with the cops gone nothing will stop the top two ranked nursing homes from destroying each other! Then I will move from third place nursing home to first place nursing home!!! WUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Show a building across the street where an old man has a crossbow aimed at the #3 nursing home owner which just blew up the cops.

Old man and crossbow: Yes... continue to laugh away ... once I kill you and the rest die I'll move all the way to the top from 4th place!!!

Vorthon is taking punches and is very gassed and losing the boxing fight against the larger enemy boxer!

Large old man: You're PATHETIC!

Steve: I'm coming Vorthon!!!

Steve runs to help but ... trips on a tennis ball.

Steve: smurf!!!

Large old man: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

Vorthon: Keep your eyes on the price mother-smurf!!!

Large old man: What?

Vorthon throws an overhand right and knocks the old man the smurf out!!

Steve rushes over as fighting continues all around them.

Steve: You ok, buddy?

Vorthon: Yeah man, nice distraction move by tripping on the ball on purpose!

Steve: Yes ... that was it.

Mr. Hamburger and his 2 evil colleagues watch from the distance as the war rages on.

Mr. Hamburger: Send the plane.

Suddenly everyone looks up as an old army fighter plane flies above them. This plane is being flown by a crazy old man and has a chain gun turret on the front of it!

Steve: Oh smurf!!

Mr. Sandwich (from the distance): Get the tank! Get the tank!!!

The army plane swoops down low and opens fire as bullets fly all over!

Steve: GET DOWN!!!

Steve pushes Vorthon down as an elderly lady in a wheelchair comes up.

Old Wheel Chair Lady: TAKE THIS!!!!

The old lady in the wheelchair grips one of her large wheels and somehow finds the strength to rip it off! She takes the wheel and throws it high in the air as Xena would throw her Chakram (circular Frisbee like weapon). The wheelchair wheel flies through the air at tremendous speed and hits the plane's chain gun turret with extreme accuracy! The chain gun turret gets dented in and bullets begin to shoot in erratic directions! The bullets even shoot inside of the cockpit and blow holes in the pilot and plane parts and the plane spins out of control and crashes into another area of the large fighting zone!

Steve (to wheelchair lady): That was the coolest shazam! I've ever seen!!!

Smug old man: I've seen cooler.

Steve looks over to see Vorthon is laying on the ground face up and some blood has formed on the grass under his back.

Steve: Come on Vorthon, get up!

Vorthon: Steve ... a bullet got me...

Vorthon feels his legs and looks terrified.

Vorthon: I can't ... I can't feel my legs.

Steve: Oh no! You lost the ability to feel with your hands!

Steve grabs Vorthon's hand.

Steve: Here, see if you can feel MY legs!

Vorthon: No I mean... I can't move my legs....

Steve: Don't worry buddy, I'll be your legs!

Steve tries to lift Vorthon up and Vorthon screams in agony and more blood pours out.

Vorthon: You ... you have to leave me!

Steve: What...

BOOM!!!

An explosion happens in the distance and old people and parts go flying from an army tank blast! The Brittlecliff tank presses forward as men from Grimm Valley throw bombs at it to slow it down!

Steve: This shazam! is crazy!

Vorthon: Steve.... go ... save yourself...

Steve: I'm not leaving without ya buddy! I'm going to save you!

Steve gets up and frantically begins screaming for help!

Steve: Doctor!!! Is there is doctor here!? It's an emergency!!! HELP!!!!!

Steve walks around looking for a doctor and accidentally steps on Vorthon's face - HARD!!

Vorthon: smurf!!!!

Steve: I'm sorry!

Vorthon: Are you smurf serious ... you stepped on my face...

Steve: I'm sorry! Do you want to step on my face!?

Vorthon: ...

Suddenly a crazy old man from Grimm Valley speeds in on a large old car and people get out of the way!

Vorthon: Move!

Vorthon grabs Steve's ankle and trips him so he falls away from the car as it runs over Vorthon.

Steve: NOOOOOOOO!!!!

The car which ran over Vorthon carries on super fast and crashes into the Brittlecliff tank and it explodes into a huge fireball!!

Steve checks on Vorthon and is teary eyed.

Steve: Don't worry buddy. I'll get you out of this somehow, I swear!!!

Vorthon (weak voice): You *cough* never knew when to let things go huh...

Steve: I'm not letting you go! You changed my life! You taught me I could continue living despite losing my family and so much!!

Vorthon: Steve ... *choke*....

Steve (crying): ... yes?

Vorthon: ... thanks for being my room mate ... *choke* ........

Vorthon is dead.

Steve: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Steve hugs Vorthon and cries into his shoulder as the noise of violence and fighting in the background is now suddenly muffled and feels far away.

Steve: I'm going to put an end to this war ... if not for anything than for you!

Steve stands up with new found determination and a strange inner strength he never knew he had before. In the distance blue energy balls are flying all over and shooting down residents!

Steve: What the hell?

Mr. Sandwich has a strange weapon that shoots blue plasma balls in rapid succession!

Steve: Is that a weapon!?

Dr. Brown: Don't forget that it's 2035!

Steve: What are you doing here???

Dr. Brown: There's injured people everywhere ... I'm a doctor...

Steve: WHERE THE smurf WERE YOU EARLIER?!?!?

As Mr. Sandwich shoots people with his plasma gun, Mr. Hamburger approaches! Mr. Hamburger has a really big smurf gun that his colleagues are helping him hold!

Mr. Sandwich: What the....

Mr. Hamburger: You call that a gun? THIS is a gun!

Mr. Hamburger fires a large and slow moving green energy ball and Mr. Sandwich runs like hell as men behind him absorb the blast and all explode and turn to people puddles.

From the distance some guys watch as more explosions and chaos can be seen from the battlefield.

Guy: Man ... your Dad is in there! Aren't you concerned?! Poor Mr. Hamburger....

Hamburger JR: Easiest inheritance ever.

Mr. Hamburger and Mr. Sandwich are now face to face with their high tech weapons of doom.

Mr. Hamburger: DIEEEEEE!!!!!

Mr. Sandwich: YOU DIE!!!!!!

They each fire their weapon to no effect.....

Mr. Hamburger: Oh crap... out of power...

Mr. Sandwich: No charge left....

They pause and then drop their weapons and then run at each other and get into a slap fight. A really lame girl like slap fight....

Mr. Sandwich: How do you like it jabberwocky!?

Mr. Hamburger: No you're the one who likes it!!

Slap slap slap slap slap!!!

Steve loses it and throws punches to everyone he can find, regardless of what side they're on!

Steve: Take this! And that!

Steve throws punches and channels the punching power of Vorthon as a vision of him is cast over Steve!

Unknown: ROOAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Steve: What the smurf!?!!

Steve sees a strange creature with animal qualities jumping and leaping around unnatural like and knocking people out of his way!

Steve: What am I seeing?!

Steve gets a better look at this man who looks more like an animal than a man! He is bald and wearing antlers and various animal skins and is covered in animal blood.

Steve: Who are you!?!?

Man in authentic animal attire (beast like voice and animal movements): I AM ANIMAL MAN!!!! *growl*

Steve (tired of a lifetime worth of silliness): Oh come on....

Animal Man: YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME!!!!

Steve: When have I ... what ... WHO ARE YOU!!??

Animal Man: THIS CREATURE USED TO GO BY THE CALLING OF ... STED....

Steve: Sted... from the FBI???

Animal Man: NOW ANIMAL MAN!!!

Steve: Wait ... smoking weed with Dave and getting kicked out into the woods turned you into .... Animal Man ...?

Animal Man: RIGHT!!

Steve: Do you know what this means?

Animal Man (normal voice): No.

Steve: Sted ... you were looking for a new hero ... but it's been you all along!

Animal Man: ... me?

Steve: Yes! It can only be you! With your new animal powers you can surely do better than ... that guy!

Steve points to Math Man who is still trying to stop the fighting ... using a squirt battle to no effect.

Animal Man: You're right! By Golly! You're right!

Animal Man leaps away majestically and tackles Math Man! Math Man screams and squirts Animal Man with the water bottle but it's too late ... Math Man is already being eaten alive.

Steve: Well ... at least someone took over the super hero role....

Steve looks around at all the carnage and fighting and gets ready to join back in.

Some old guy: YOU!!!!

Steve looks over to see a familiar elderly man in a brand new spiffy and high tech wheelchair.

Steve: Do I know you?

Elderly Wheelchair Guy: You stole my last two wheelchairs!

Steve: Oh yeah....

Steve now remembers taking two wheelchairs from this man in recent episodes.

Steve: Actually.... maybe your advanced future chair will give me the edge I need in this war!

Steve goes to take the wheelchair and the elderly man quickly draws a pistol and shoots Steve in the stomach!

We hear some kind of sad choir music playing ... in slow motion Steve looks at his bloody hand and stomach from feeling the gun wound....

Steve is in total shock and in slow motion he's shot again by the old man in the wheelchair!

We hear sad music get louder and the background fighting continue but seem less loud and further away now ....

Steve turns around to see a small flat robot vacuum with a gun mounted to it somehow.

Steve: No....

*BANG*

Steve is shot a third time and *BANG* a forth and *BANG* fifth time!

Steve stumbles around and falls to his knees covered in blood as the background fighting and explosions sound muffled now and everything gets darker.

Steve: No... whole life flashing before eyes......

##Flashback##

-Steve and Vorthon fight the labyrinth together as friends ....

-Steve trying to save Vorthon on the battlefield ....

-Steve getting shot just now...

##End Flashback##

Steve struggles to retrieve another memory and looks like he's painfully concentrating.

Steve: Damn short term memory! *cough*

Steve coughs blood and no longer has the strength to remain on his knees ... he collapses and soaks the grass with his blood. Blood is all over the front of his clothes and arms and hands and he tries to crawl.

Steve: No damn it .... *spits blood* ... I won't give up ... ever!

Steve tries to crawl and is very shaky and bleeds all over. He looks very pale and sweaty and bloody and at death's door.

Steve: Must .... keep ... going ....

Steve looks at the battlefield ahead and tries desperately to crawl to it ... suddenly a figure appears superimposed over the battle scene and looks at Steve.

Steve: ... huh ... ? *vomits blood*

Steve now makes out the strange figure in better and brighter light. The figure's light almost hides the fighting in the distance. It looks like an angel....

Steve: Amanda.... ?

We now see Phil as an angel in his usual business suit and with wings. Phil looks down at Steve.

Steve: Oh smurf....

Phil (angelic voice): Steve... your time is up ... your earthly struggles are over now ... let go ...

Steve: No! *coughs blood* Never! I'm never gonna .... *choke* ... give up....

Phil: You have nothing else to accomplish here. Your mortal vessel has reached it's end and your family has passed on ....

Steve (angry): NO!!! I will not die here! *choke*

Phil: You need to let go. A much greater task awaits you....

Steve: F ... smurf you .... *cough*

Phil: what...

Steve musters what strength he has left to flip off Phil. Phil gives a dirty look and fades away...

Steve: Finally ...

Steve tries to crawl but can hardly move. He uses the last bit of strength to roll over and looks up at the sky. It's actually a beautiful day and the sun and birds and few clouds look glorious.

Then a bird poops on Steve's bullet wounds.

Steve: Seriously!!!!??!?

Steve gargles and spits out more blood and suddenly can't move and is so tired ... so weak....

Steve: No.....

A single tear runs down his eye as all he can do is lay in the grass.... Steve can no longer hear or see anything ... he is surrounded by darkness and silence.

Steve's eyes slowly close forever and his soul escapes his body ....

Steve has died.