Clarence and Zot talk randomly forever

[Clarence]

Honestly I can't think of a time I have either

[Clarence]

..nothing significant anyway, I think everyone has done teeny tiny insubstantial things in their lives

That was kind of a horrible question I asked you actually ... sorry about that.

[Wesley]

Ha ha haha! No worries, friend!

I have had some ideas, just never actually put them into action.

[Clarence]

Ok, I got one.

One time I was running along, you know, before I was fat. And I ran and stepped in wet cement! I had no idea it was coming and there was no barrier around the cement or signs or anything ... just some construction worker in a truck who yelled at me ... and I kept on running until I was out of sight and left the scene forever ...

It wasn't premeditated wet cement vandalism ... but I never owned up to it and totally fled the scene.

See? Stuff like that, everyone's done something like that.

[Clarence]

One time at Wal-mart I helped my Mom steal toilet paper ...

Cause the package of toilet paper wasn't hers, it was just sitting on the convener belt thing with all the stuff she meant to buy, I showed up later to help her load her cart, we got home and she was like "I didn't buy this"


And we never returned it either.

So what is that?

[Clarence]

One time I blew through a stop sign in the country cause I wasn't expecting the road to randomly have a stop when it goes on straight forever ... and a tree branch was mostly concealing the stop sign ....

[Clarence]

It's illegal to set off fireworks within the city limits here ....

and I totally did that shazam!

[Wesley]

Accidents and mistakes happen. One time long ago I seem to remember that we got a fancy calculator, and the thing was displayed in the plastic, and inside was a fake leather sheath to put it in. Well, inside the sheath, there was ANOTHER calculator! ha ha h ha! So were we doing anything wrong in keeping both? I don't think so. It was just a mistake at the factory, and they account for that stuff.

And regarding fireworks? Well, I've been known to set off anything legal and lots of it! And I mix in some stuff that is not exactly legal in my state. I am safe about it, hoses and buckets of water and that kind of thing. But yeah, fire good.

[Clarence]

Here's a story, in high school, this guy kept taking my calculator apart and I had to put it back together...

... so I filled it with gold bond medicated powder... so he would make a mess of himself. Sure enough he took it apart and guess what happened next?

Are you ready for it?

HE SNIFFED THE smurf GOLD BOND POWDER

He got sick or something and poison control was called, I shazam! you not, I was being interrogated as to what the powdery substance was in the calculator.

Who the smurf sniffs random white powder from a calculator they took apart???

[Wesley]

Probably trying to be funny, then things got REAL SERIOUS!

Okay, I have to try to buy a jig so I can sharpen my chainsaw.

[Wesley]

Is this your yard?

Yeah, why? You wanna put a tent there? Too bumpy, if you ask me. Why would you want to camp in my yard, anyway? That seems kind of odd...

[Clarence]

Just wondering, so you own some woods and you're chopping trees down?

My property line just touches other property lines and I have next to no trees

[Wesley]

No, I don't own wooded property. I carefully made sure you can't see either house in the shot, but there is a ten meter causeway between me and my neighbor. Just on my side of the line there are a couple of trees that should have been taken care of years ago, but were not.

[Clarence]

Awesome man

My property touches 5 other properties.

My neighbour behind me hasn't kept their yard at all... it's like a jungle back there!

[Clarence]

My joke of the day calendar ...

Today:

-----------------------
A FINE LINE BY MARK TWAIN...
----------------------

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

----

....

I don't get it.

[Wesley]

People, generally speaking, are not that smart. All the advances we have made as a society are due to the hard work and brain power of a select few. A minority, if you will. So he was joking that if you find yourself siding with the crowds, the masses of potato chip eaters and wrestling fans, maybe look again and see if you are an engine or an anchor.

Also, it was a mildly sarcastic way of expressing contrarianism.

I'm still trying to figure out why you wanted to camp in my yard.

[Clarence]

I never wanted to camp in your yard lol

But I was curious about your property.

I know people who's property goes on to endless woods and they take free range of how much they own ... or don't own.

My Grandfather built this cool sugar shack in his back yard with random things he found, it's a pretty cool enclosed in place with a fire pit etc

[Wesley]

What, so my yard is not good enough for you to camp in now? Is that it?

[Clarence]

Are you stoned?

[Clarence]

Is it stealing if you take a 10 dollar bill away from someone and replace it with 1000 pennies?

It's not theft cause the same amount of money is there ... is that vandalism?

I couldn't pull off this heist in Canada cause we no longer have pennies .... I guess I could do 200 Nickles .... would that weigh more?