funny replies

[Giana]

Post here any funny replies you were given, you heard or read!
I`ll go first:


Man “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”

[Giana]

I liked that one:
Man “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy
Woman “Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.”

[chex]

Here's one from an email conversation with my husband this morning.

chex: Oh, I plan on sleeping for 24 hours straight when you get home.
mr. chex: Thats fine, I plan on having tickle fight for 24 hours straight so it all works out.

he's such a bastard.

[Giana]

Is like in that joke:`why do you need to wake me,you know where to find it`

[Dowster]

Some of mine - the few I can remember

Angry kid at school "If you don't shut up you're gonna end up in hospital
Me - "fluck off im not gonna visit you"

Me to my wife "Did you eat all the donuts in that bag?"
My Wife "yes, but I have an excuse, im pregnant
Me "well you wouldn't be if I knew that you didn't share donuts"

Grumpy guy at work (after getting a minor cut on his arm) "have we got an accident book here?"
Me "Why, are you looking for a copy of your birth certificate?"

Police officer "I need to take your name"
Me - slightly drunk *gives full name*
Police Officer "can you spell that"
Me "Well if I couldn't I'd probably be wearing the same uniform as you"

My Boss (pretending to be angry, but actually only messing with me) "what time do you call this, I hope you have a decent excuse
Me "Well I would have, but unfortunately I was late for work this morning so I didn't have time to think of one"