Here is a list of characters which will be updated as new comics come out and things change -- contains spoilers if you haven't read the 155th comic and beyond!!! Let me know if thereis mitsakes
--Feel free to suggest updates to be made to this page or if you're a mod, just edit it as you like. Treat it like Wikipedia.
-----Our Heroes-----
Cushion - Cowardly pillow who everyone seems to want to kill. Has annoying hobbies as well as personality. She is a woman who has been pretending to be a man to inherit her Grandfather's money as her parents have died mysteriously. Recently gave birth to a child that may fulfill an ancient prophesy?
Peachy - Murderous peach ring who is mostly a confused serial killer! Grows tired of disappointing adversaries that aren't worthy of the kill. Has unusual religious beliefs. Keeps getting bigger and he's on steroids. After a bad relationship with Cushion he may never be the same again. Super strong thanks to steroids, so much so that he seems to be immune to hat possession.
Sir Walter - Cushion and Bread Slice's former landlord. Former member of the League of Shadowy Figures, but quit! Enjoys a good monocle, cane and top hat. Sleazily usurped his way to become king of England! Had hilarious eye problems. Has a cane that seems to have unlimited additional functions but is currently out of power. Actually a member of the Hat People who plan to take over Earth. Sir Walter is actually a Hat from another dimension that can control anyone who wears him. Him, along with the fellow hat people are from dimension "H" for hats. Although a hat person, they hate him and want him dead forcing him to be on our side ... we hope.
Bread Slice - Is super in love and mega obsessed with Cushion who he is now in a relationship with. He is from Dimension "B" as in baked goods and appears to be on some kind of secret mission?
Daemos - The evil demon spawn of Cushion and Clippy after their one off wild tickle fight romp. Currently suffers from rapid aging syndrome.
-----The Big Bad-----
Supreme Hat - Leader of the evil hats that have invaded Earth. In possession of Frederick the muscular and more powerful than ever
-----Characters based on actual NELG members -----
Great Dot - A friendly blue dot who is laid back and is constantly doing renovations on his house or having food themed parties. Has a brother, Boggle.
Boggle - Great Dot's brother. Makes awesome Burritos. Always around to help Great Dot with his never ending renovations. Always likes to help out and give advise to anyone. An all around great dot!
Ninja - Great Dot's stealthy brother, now you see him, now OW MY EYE!!
Strawberry Chex - An awesome kick-bottom cereal who always gets stuck with a bad online date. Has three little cereals children.
Froot Loop - Eldest spawn of Strawberry Chex. Future neurosurgeon.
Apple Jack - Middle spawn of Strawberry Chex. A curious cereal who loves to jump and climb.
Corn Pop - Youngest spawn of Strawberry Chex. Always wants a snack.
Bella - She is a bell who helps babysit for Strawberry Chex sometimes.
LaMeow - A zen-cat who hates arguments/fights and likes the color blue and chocolate. Oh and occasionally looses her temper when she feels pressured by others.
Dowster - A British chap who loves to put on silly faces and make people laugh. Disappears often but when he comes back it's awesome!
Cho - The town butterfly!
Shay - An artist who of course would be an artist paint brush
Sizz - A musical music stand who loves to make awesome music!
Eff - Bad at English and obsessed with Clarence ... !!!
Moe - A lawnmower who's obsessed with technology.
Forky - A German genius who beat every smurf game he ever played
-----League of Severe Evil-----
Cherry Pepsi - Leader of the League of Severe Evil / restaurant and an all out amazing guy all the way around despite being the leader of an evil organization. Former human turned Cherry Pepsi!
Princess Tee - She's a pretty intense presence in the league! Has a pet unicorn named Frederick! A telekinetic super stiletto of epic proportions and quite possibly the most powerful character in the show! Very intimidating and not afraid to stand up to anyone or just yell a lot.
Ban Hammer - A hammer that always tries to ban people and likes to argue. Gets mad cause other people like to use him as a ... hammer ...
Dr. Lego - A Lego nurse who used the league influence to become a doctor!! She is outrageously stupid even when it comes to knowing anything that pertains to being a doctor which she has been working very hard to be... Now wears a reflective doctor thing to seem more ... doctor like.
Charlie the Chainsaw - A Chainsaw who carries a chainsaw ...
-----The rest-----
Sparky - A pile of electricity that was recently freed of hat enslavement and joined the good guys - yay!!
Mr. Matt - A resistor who can resist ANYTHING!!! Turned against the Hat People cause he was treated too badly
Monsieur Maurice - French brother of Sir Walter who speaks French badly and is very annoying. Is very evil and random, enjoys chaos over order! Took over the body of Éclair, A fat, often tired French henchman who likes to blow his load ... of custard all over people.
Fred the Lover of Holiday Spirit - A Christmas themed former bad guy who only appears during the holidays. Now loves Christmas after visiting Great Dot's and no longer tries to ruin everyone's Christmas in horrible / stupid ways.
Vinny the Vacuum - An old, broken down vacuum that Great Dot repaired and is now completely loyal to Great Dot.
Crankshaft - A smurf crank shaft and friend of Great Dots'.
Crepes - French Henchman of Maurice! Seems often confused by Maurice's antics.
Pastor Podium - The very honest pastor of the local church.
The Killer Suppository - A evil doer who does evil things to balloon knot.
Deflated Balloon - Has frequent temper tantrums if he doesn't get his way.
Pierre Razor - French straight razor that shaved criminals before they faced the guillotine. Not really evil, but numb to both life and death. Until he met Monica, a sexy Italian switch blade who made him realize there is more to life... until Peach Ring absconded with her to America!
Dr. Disc - A VERY evil doctor who missed the boat on killing Mr. Gear and Clippy and now is at a loss for what to do with himself.
Creepy Bar Owner - A bar owner who owns it at being creepy.
Milk Crate - A poor happy go lucky milk crate who was taken over by the hat people as his body is perfect to store things! Seriously, milk crates are great! They're durable, can store things, be stack-able etc etc
Jackknife - A Swiss Delegate who got swept into an unexpected adventure when Bread Slice borrowed his body for a while.
Sammy - An old cellphone who refuses to die! Seriously!
Micro Hat - The tiniest hat who loves to spy on people.
~~~~~~~~~~ Unicorns ~~~~~~~~~~
Belpheobe - Frederick's former girlfriend from the unicorn dimension but didn't satisfy her needs.
Dwayne - The guy ... er Uniman who moved in on Frederick's girl and then kicked Frederick's bottom.
King Unicorn - King of the Unicorn peoples in Dimension U: The Unicorn dimension.
-----Illuminati-----
??? - Leader of the Illuminati! Has lots of wisdom and knows everything that's going on all over the world at all times.
??? - The Illuminati muscle. He is the strongest of ... the group full of light bulbs ... ...
??? - The tiny but feisty member of the group!
??? - The trickster of the group.
??? - The balloon knot of the group, seriously this guy's a son of a jabberwocky!!
??? - The tall guy of the group. He reaches things that are up high ...
??? - The fat guy of the group. Has a paranoia related eating disability.
-----Deceased Characters!!!-----
Magneto (AKA Mr. Gray) - The first death in the comics from this poorly named character who is loud and has magnetic powers ... he accidentally pulled a plane into himself and died and the League of Shadowy Figures blames Cushion who was there at the time being harassed by Magneto.
Mortimer Maximus Manheim Junior III -Mortimer lead a very sheltered yet structured life with his strict parents, a wagon wheel and a bent coat-hanger. Forbidden to watch TV he wasn't able to learn things as quickly as his peers, which were few and far between because he was home schooled and not allowed to have friends. Sadly his sheltered life lead to be his undoing as he was unable to recognize the danger of the lit bomb he was holding that blew him up at McDonalds on a random Wednesday. He was one day away from being promoted to manager too, sad.
Evil Flower - A surprisingly evil flower who lost his head!
Monica - Peach Ring's knife who died tragically
Ephraim the Eraser - A killer eraser that erased everything he touched! Seems to regret that he can't touch anything but had his assistant Mustafa touch things on his behalf.
English Cucumber - Was very attractive to the ladies.... until he was treated too rough and broke in half.
Roy - Liked old music. Choked to death on ketchup?? Former member of the Elite Elderly Circuit.
Winebottle - A happy go lucky wine bottle who loved to have people over for a glass of wine. Very friendly but picked the wrong friends it seems...
Clippy - Crazy candy addict who was very stupid/random and always liked to go on an adventure and tried to be a good guy.
Mr. Gear - Stoner balloon knot who was especially mean to Clippy and never wanted to do anything, seriously lazy and unhelpful. Seemed kind of evil really.
Cheesus - Alcoholic former super hero who drank because he lost his powers and was totally useless in the end.
Steroids Man - A character who did steroids a lot and lost control of himself often. A very original character because I'm not so out of ideas that I'm starting to rip myself off.
Mr. Bucket - The bucket who exposed the Shadowy Figures' true appearance. He died so gruesomely I don't dare explain what happened
Pine - Sir Chair’s on again / off again wife. She didn’t have a lot of options, obviously. Mr. Gear and Clippy's dead Mom.
Beth - Peach Ring's baseball bat girlfriend who, like Monica the knife, never talked or was known to be sentient.
Knob - Hasn't been the same since tube left him.
Smokey - Was high all the time! Screwed up or forgot to complete his evil plans because he got high, because he got high, because he got high!! Also ran the weed store and was Mr. Gear's #1 supplier before Mr. Gear died.
Professor Tobacco Pipe - Had bladder problems and missed his Grandson, Smokey. Died in a tragic Christmas explosion.
Lord Onion - League of Severe Evil's super short lived replacement for Smokey but Tee killed him as she's allergic to onions.
Hammond - Peachy's Katana which was gifted from Cushion. Hammond died when he was shattered to bits on Sir Slices magic crystal cane!!
Fenwick - A random brick that Peachy used to talk too.... ... ???
Dominick - Cushion's bra that Peachy used to talk too ... ?? !!! :O
Sir Slice - A dead hat person who's dead along with the pizza body it inhabited. A super low level henchmen of the Hat people who failed horribly at his job.
Benchy - A random bench that Cushion was sitting on in the first comic. Cushion flipped him over when trying to get away from Peach Ring on their first encounter. Benchy has since been trying to get back on his feet and wants to kill Cushion. Joined up with the elderly to help his cause.... but then left cause the elderly are useless.
??? - The Hat who tried to take over the Deflated Balloon only to realize that maybe life is better just being dead.
??? - A hat who failed to infiltrate the Illuminati!!
Miss Chamberpot - Only female member of the Elite Elderly Circuit who was maybe the least evil and maybe not evil at all, kind and caring actually.
Bigger English Cucumber - Older and fatter brother of English Cucumber. Also was kidnapped by Strawberry Chex.
??? - An evil hat who had no morals and would go after women and children!!
Mr. Blue - Former member of the League of Shadowy figures who was kidnapped by the Hat People so Sir Walter could take his place in the League!
??? - The Hat that tried to take over Blaza. He played with fire and got burnt . He also tried to take over Steve.
??? - The Hat that tried to take over Sir Chair and then Dread Slice.
??? - The hat that tried to take over Nurse Lego.
??? - The hat that tried to take over Ban Hammer.
??? - The hat that tried to take over Frederick.
??? - The hat that tried to take over Tee .... and failed dramatically.
??? - The hat that tried to take over Clarence!
Dame Genevieve - The only woman hat of Supreme Hat's top henchmen. Inherited Sir Slice's cane and was on a mission to help take over Earth! Successfully took over most of the Evil Bunch but got her bottom kicked by Princess Tee!
??? - A hat who took over a milk crate so he could hide his fellow hats inside to sneak attack our heroes!
Gary - A hat who seems to be known for causing febreeze.
??? - She was a total diva
??? - Just another member of the Trojan Horse milk crate invasion team.
St Paddys Hat - A St Paddys themed hat who died immediately.
French Fries - Leader of Maurice's French henchmen. He was the plan guy, but often got impatient and handled things his own way.
Escargot - A slimy and slippery French henchman who leaved trails of slime for people to trip on.
Pie A La Mode - Everyone got hungry and ate the pie.
Frog Legs - A French henchman who was an expert at Judo and Kick-boxing. Was very fast and limber with his legs!!
Joey the Slide - A very innocent man who was at the wrong place at the wrong time
Dread Slice - Used to have a code name of Mr. Pink which he hated because he wore a red cape... which turned pink after a laundry malfunction. Also Nurse Lego found him creepy. Liked to carry and use bombs a lot. Got mad when others think he's gay but at the same time had a lot of gay qualities. Had a fun love/hate relationship with Ban Hammer. Lost his body to Bread Slice, who permanently took it over. Dread Slice was from dimension "E" also known as the Evil dimension, and that alternate to Bread Slice.
Sir chair - A veteran super villain who got his confidence back after Mr. Gear and Clippy finally died. Was determined to take over the world and felt invincible until he was killed by a unicorn...
Boris the Beard - When Peter the Great was trying to modernize Russia, he wanted all the old Russian men to shave their beards so they looked more like the France -- at the time, the most modern country in Europe. If they did not comply, they had to pay a Beard Tax. Boris was so outraged by this that he left Russia and has been wandering Europe as a Mercenary ever since. Boris : Beard For Hire.
Thaddeus - Evil Leader of the Elite Elderly Circuit who apparently was in some horrible accident! Then in another horrible face slicing off and sewn back on thing.
Arthur the Victorian Couch - Cushion's balloon knot/racist Grandfather who wants to have her killed. May have had Cushion's parents killed as well!
Covered Bridge - A really old member who likes to insult the other members.
Ole Scratchy - Has a seeing eye disorder or something.
5 Hour Energy Drink - A bottle of 5 Hour Energy Drink who had his energy drank and became old with a beard/cane. Now very slow paced and filled with liquor instead.
??? - Likes to stab at people with his pointy spike!!
??? - Bladder control issues
??? - Usually gives up too easily ...
??? - Always sleepy and probably taking a nap right now!
??? - She's got a lot of spunk!!
??? - Gets shazam! done!
Steve - Rarely talks and generally creeps everyone out. His bark may be worse than his bite, or fire breath. Basically is a total jabberwocky, especially since Tee joined the group. He's very scared of her!
Blaza - A more gangster version of fire.
Evil Fedora - An evil formal fedora that infiltrated Great Dot's
??? - An evil construction hat who infiltrated Great Dot's with his twin and were tortured to death
??? - An evil construction hat who infiltrated Great Dot's with his twin and were tortured to death
Sir Phillip - A smurf tank with a modified weapon from space!!! Oh shazam!!!
Reaper - A hedgehog who loves to play video games about other hedgehogs.
Yellow Pepper - A fight crasher who crashed the wrong fight!
Car Battery - He was the leader of the Society of quilters and carried a blanket!!!
The Ibliss Trigger - The greatest villain and infiltrator of all places ... in his mind. Possessed by the hat that tried to go after LaMeow earlier in the comics.
Yo-Yo Ma - A pretty chill and cool yo yo who was pretty hip ... hip into killing that is.
Mustafa - Evil toiler paper roll that had toilet paper themed powers and is totally gangster! Formerly Ephraim the Eraser's assistant as Ephraim couldn't touch things.
??? - A Hat that took over CNN news reporter Wolf Blitzer for a while.
Coke - A dangerous man who takes fabulous pictures!
??? - An evil toque that took over Metal Diamond and crushed by the same.
Super Pear - Once a super hero but turned evil after his disdain for humanity and all it's corporate greed.
Bi-Polar Roller - A very happy sad happy sad HAPPY SAD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Actually, that was an act to infiltrate the Evil Bunch with great success!
Spork Man - An angry fork/spoon hybrid who isn't afraid to stab people with his prongs of death!
The Crack Hen - A hen and crack pipe combination that needs to borrow money for drugs.
Clocky AKA Timekeeper AKA Handyman AKA Ronald - A clock by many names with some kind of multiple personality disorder who is obsessed with hiding in bushes and jumping out when someone happens to ask "What time is it?"
Mr. Universe - A mysterious gem from another dimension or something who has some kind of far out, cosmic powers. Brother to Metal Diamond.
Sir Nigel - A smurf awesome Magneto helmet that has taken over the body of a yummy chocolate chip cookie!! How smurf awesome is this for reals?
Sir Maxwell - A nut with a metal hat who is into heavy metal
Stripper Unicorn - A stripper and only unicorn to help Frederick with his problems. Was buff and all natural. Liked to say annoying things while kicking bottom!
Jake "The Neck" Giordano - Peachy's former steroids dealer before Frederick put him out of business.
Sir Montgomery - A Badass double barrel shotgun!! With a mad wild west attitude!
Science Hat - Supreme Hat's most important minister of sciences ... or knowing how to do shazam! that Supreme Hat is incapable of doing himself.
Lord Montague - Was Supreme Hat's second in command and had the body of a portal.
Sir Xavier - A hat person that had the body of electricity. One of Supreme Hat's elite henchmen.
??? - A portal that can teleport anywhere who spent a lot of time being enslaved by hat people.
Yarn Ball - An innocent little yarn ball that was possessed by the most evil character on the show: Supreme Hat
Darryl the Double Down - A very fat and unhealthy KFC menu item that should have never been conceived.
Metal Diamond - The most indestructible character in my show!!!! Brother of Mr. Universe. EDIT: Turns out he was destructable
Barry the Bomb - Has an explosive personality if you get to know him.
Mandelbrot - Some guy who thinks he's Dowster's brother and has meme superpowers ???
293 - Mandelbrot's Dad who thinks he's also Dowster's Dad and is bad at keeping his secret that he is actually their rival and wants to kill them.
Master Loaf - A strange wise and master being from another dimension that appears to have Bread Slice working with him on some grand mission.
Helen - Yet another lost kife of Peachy
Characters (old eps 174-198)
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