The ever growing story!

[Clarence]

Rules last revised on 01/22/2009

*Ya might want to check this first post from time to time as I may constantly revise this using pretty colours.

Please everyone feel free to give this a try, it would make me soooo happy! And many thanks to those who have contributed so far, I love how well this turned out!

YOU CAN NOW CONTRIBUTE AS MUCH OR AS LITTLE AS YOU WOULD LIKE, NO SENTENCE REQUIREMENTS!!!

If ya really don't want to participate, I'll be sad, but understand. At the very least if you're bored please read what our wonderful members have helped create, I'm sure you'll find it amusing.

If you're about to contribute to the story please post a message saying "adding to story" so people will know and won't post at the same time. *if after reserving your spot you take more then 72 hours to post your part of the story and I notice it, you could lose your spot.

Here is something I want to try, now the rules are a bit complicated, but I want to make sure everyone knows the rules before they post. Anyone who botches this up really badly will be asked to fix it, or if their contribution is really wrong or terrible it may be removed.

Every time you post start with the next # I'll post 1 and the next person posts 2 and so on in sequence.

You have to make legitimate sentences and not make the story too too completely silly, but yet very funny. You may go into any direction you want with the plot.

Kevin can't die, ever (not that he's an immortal character, but he can never be killed off)

NO DOUBLE POSING or your username will be changed to pissy piss piss pants

Also try to be as consistant with the plot as possible.... I would rather not fill it with a bunch of loopholes.

Please don't make the previous poster's post "Just a dream" or some crap like that, everything that happens, happens,

Please if at all possible leave the chapter ending on a cliff-hanger or something for the next poster to build off on.

*New Rules, please consider the numbers chapters, and give the chapter a name, thanks!




...................

Anyway I'll start the first post, please follow my lead

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Chapter 1 - Kevin and Destructo go to the mall

Kevin and Destructo decided to embark on a journey to the mall.

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Current Score:

Clarence - 493 sentences
Peppy Hare - 312 sentences
Dowster - 136 sentences
Jonny 5 - 119 sentences
Wolfe - 111 sentences
Bella - 92 sentences
Great Zot - 40 sentences
Zhiefty - 13 sentences
Legendary Dood - 10 sentences


Total sentences = 1326

[Z]

Chapter 2 - The rabid llama

On the way there, they saw a rabid llama.
"Look, it's a llama" said Kevin.

[Clarence]

Chapter 3 - Needing a hand (or two)

The llama lunged at Kevin's hands, biting them both off as he scrambled about. Destructo used his laser lance to cut the llamas face off. Kevin's robotic friend Destructo advised that we need a replacement for those missing hands post haste as to avoid bleeding to death.

[Z]

Chapter 4 - A robot who can't drive

Onlookers screamed as Kevin's blood sprayed down like rain. "That would be a good idea." Kevin said to Destructo as he finished decapitating the llama. So they decided to drive to the hospital, but soon found out Destructo didn't have a license. "You've got to be shitting me!" Screamed Kevin at the top of his lungs, as all hope of getting new hands seemed to quickly fade away.

[Edit: Fixed a typo]

[Jonny Boy]

5 - A New Menace

Elsewhere on Planet X there's a small boy who decides that t's time to hunt down the slayer of Llamas from planet earth named "Destructo". He grabs his father's pitch fork of doom, climbs aboard his space ship and takes off towards planet Earth. The cold deep space between the planets is the only thing that separates these two beings. It was their destiny to have an epic conflict, at least that's what his ghetto grandma said.
"The metal man will feel my wraith!! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" He laughed as he rocketed to earth in his super fast space ship and clutched onto his pitch fork of doom.

[Clarence]

Chapter 6 - A New Menace no More

On the boy's decent to earth he opened a bag of M&Ms and one of the chocolate coated candies got lodged under the button which slows down the space craft. The craft came crashing down to earth at tremendous speeds. Meanwhile, Kevin attempted driving with his teeth while on the highway and they suddenly crashed into another llama. The car was completely wrote off and Kevin lost most of his face in the accident. "How could this get any worse" said Kevin. "I'm sorry Kevin, I didn't quite understand that last sentence, you don't have a face" said Destructo.

[Z]

Chapter 7 - Destructo has Anger Issues

"I fid humph mmhm mfis fet heny verse" mumbled Kevin. "Oh for smurf sake Kevin TALK!" Destructo reached over and slapped Kevin in the face, peeling off his cheek in the process. Blood and remnants of flesh splattered on the car beside them. "Eww....You should get that looked at dude" The guy in the other car said to them. "I'm frying!" yelled Kevin, who was bleeding to death slowly. Destructo then turned to the guy in the other car and said "Say.....You real busy?". "Nah, not really....My names Jeff by the way" They all shook hands (Except for Kevin), got in Jeff's car and were on their way.

[Wesley]

I think that was not seven sentences.... even with the in-sentence quotes... Anyway...

Chapter 8 - Reality is Compromised

Destructo the Robot was so put off by faceless Kevin trying to speak that he developed human emotion. The human emotion of being annoyed! So new was this sensation to him that he concentrated all his robot energy and his new-found human emotion and caused a rip in the fabric of space and time. While in this Twilight-Zone-like state, he was able to rebuild Kevin's face and hands. He stiched space and time back together almost perfectly; when he finished, they were back in the car, still heading for the hospital! "Mlah yangr stoolsh sidl..." said Kevin, steering wheel still in his mouth. "Damn that is annoying..." said Destructo as he backhanded Kevin in the face -- temporarily forgetting his robot strength and thus ripping off half of Kevin's face. "shazam!..... not again!"

[Clarence]

Chapter 9 - Watch ya Say

Jeff was confused and turned to Kevin "Wait a minute Kevin... how did you end up driving this car?". Kevin stated "Oh, I think Destructo tampered with reality again, he does that from time to time." Just then they all seen a giant space craft crash down in front of them in the 6 lane highway, completely stopping traffic. The boy with the pitchfork who had been after them got out and an Amish guy came out from nowheres. "That's my pitchfork" said the Amish man, who then proceeded to kick the boy in the nuts. One of the boy's testicles descended inside him and got into his blood stream, and traveled through his veins until it reached his heart, causing an instant stroke.

"Well I guess we'll have to go to the hospital on foot now" said Jeff, not realizing that "foot" was Destructo's key word to begin a murderous rampage. Destructo used his napalm breath to burn off all of Jeff's fleash, killing him instantly, while Kevin busted out the back windshield and ran for his life. Destructo was now on a mission to hunt down and destroy kevin!

[Legendary D00d]

Chapter 10 - The Bus

As Kevin made his run for it, he could hear the sceaming behind him from the murderous robot. Keven knew the safety word to turn him off, but worrying about the blood loss, he decided to continue running. Lost, and slowly getting dizy from the pain and such, he got on a bus, screaming for them to take him to the hospital. The bus driver noded, and put the petal to the medal, and tried to drive. The bus driver was pushing on the gas, but wasn't going anywhere. Thats because Destructo was holding onto the back bumper of the vehicle, keeping it in place. Kevin ran to the back of the bus, and yelled out the word Banana. Destructo looked up and smiled at Kevin, and asked what was going on. "Well, my hands are still missing, you killed an Amish guy while on a killing spree, you kept me here longer then I needed, and I think Im about to pass out." Destructo noded, picked up the bus, and started to run towards the hospital.

[Clarence]

Chapter 11 - The Unstoppable Rampage

They arrived at the hospital just in time for the doctor to replace Kevin's hands with a pair of hands he made himself, out of some spoons, a seat belt, and scotch tape. "These new hands are very crappy", said Kevin with a very disappointed look on his face. "Oh shut up now, how about a treat to help make it better?" asked the doctor. "Well, ok", said Kevin, "What do you have?" The doctor replied, "You can have your choice of a lolly pop, some cotton candy, or some Fruit by the Foot."

At that moment Destucto reached down the doctor's mouth and ripped off his penis from the inside. Kevin yelled "BANANA! BANANA!" at the top of his lungs, but it was to no avail as Destructo was so covered in blood that his hearing chip short circuited and he was now deaf. Kevin began to run and run as fast as he could, with Destructo always one step behind. They found themselves in the woods, deep in the wild Llama terrain, Kevin jumping and swerving out of the way of the wild llamas, while Destructo just plowed through them like Juggernaught. Kevin finally ran until he could run no more, as his ACL snapped in his leg, and also he was cornered at a cliff! He watched in fear as Destructo moved in for the kill.

[Peppy Hare]

Chapter 12 - Miasma

As Destructo moved in for the kill however, a llama approached out from the woods and gave a bleak stare to him. Destructo thought at first "meh, it's just a llama, what can it do"? He examined the llama further, and found that this llama was not an ordinary llama. It's fur was pitch black, and it's eyes glowed red. Destructo was not paying attention to Kevin any longer, but rather staring down the llama, as a small look of fear appeared on his face.

Suddenly, behind the llama, a loud cracking noise was heard, as if the ground split. The cool blue atmosphere of the sky changed to a violent sea of red and orange. Magma began to pour out of the crack in the earth, which soon clumped together to forum a lava giant capable of shooting searing rocks from its hands. Kevin looked onward, his mouth agape, as the llama uttered in an extremely deep voice, "It is time, Destructo, come with me or face your demise". Destructo immediatly recognized the voice, and he announced back to the llama, "So, after all these years you finally came to seize me, huh Miasma"? The llama said in an angrier tone, "This is your only chance, you can come with me or die right here, it's your choice". Destructo just laughed as he said back in a calm tone, "Right here, right now jabberwocky, bring it on."

[Jonny Boy]

Chapter 13 - Hell on Earth

All of the evil things of the underworld cried out at once as the ground split open. Not only was this a rupture in the mantle of the earth, allowing for magma to escape but it was a ruputre in the fabric between hell and the mortal realm. The lava giant was the first to escape but soon there were many others lining up at the gates of hell, hoping to escape and cause trouble in the mortal world.

Meanwhile back on earth, Destructo was feeling quite cocky as he switched to his fighting mode. He activated his fire supression unit and software. A great hose came from between his sturdy metallic legs and began a massive stream of water. The Lava giant dived to the side and tossed a huge fireball towards Destructo. The fireball ended up causing an explosion of steam which cooked many onlookers and made the area smell much like boiled hot dogs. Kevin managed to escape barely, he knew that this fight was going to be not only epic but also incredibly dangerous and destrucive. Every bit of the lava giant that touched the ground caused the ground to catch fire but Destruco's never ending torrent of water from his mighty hose caused flooding. Eventually there was a thick fog of steam which blocked outsiders from seeing. The evil llama could see, the lava giant was mysitcal and didn't need to see, and Destructo was an advanced piece of machinery and electronics, equipped with infra red heat sensors that made the lava giant easy to see because even though the steam was hot, the lava giant was much much hotter. The only things nearby that couldn't be seen very well were kevin and the evil llama, could one of them possibly make a move that might end this epic battle of the ages in a timely fashion?

[Wolfe1]

Chapter 14 - No Rest for Kevin

But then, suddenly, the Llama spontaneously imploded! Then the remains of the llama exploded! The pieces of llama flew more than fifty miles in a giant explosion! The lava giant was so confused by this that he committed suicide. Kevin then came up to congratulate Destructo, even if he didn't do much to get to victory. However, Destructo is still on a murderous rampage. He chases Kevin, who impulsively jupms off the cliff they were next to so he can escape. As he falls, he thinks "what was I thinking?!?" But then, he hits the ground, but survives, because the cliff was only three feet high. Destructo is still chasing him, however. He runs into what appears to be a cave. He runs for what seems like miles until he reaches a door. He desperately tries to open the door, but can't because the hands the doctor made for him earlier aren't very good. Meanwhile, Destructo is gaining fast.

[Peppy Hare]

Chapter 15 - The Mystery Cave

Kevin's hands were just not good enough to open the door. But it didn't matter, because Destructo was going to ram Kevin. Kevin lept out of his path, as Destructo charged straight into the door. Destructo was running too fast however, and he slid 10 feet on the ground to stop. But suddenly a mechanical wall came crashing down in front of Destructo, completely separating him and Kevin.

Kevin, sparked by his curiosity, decided to venture into the room. There were 2 ways to go, left and right. Kevin went left, while the right hallway had a door that led to a small tunnel to the outside world. There was a button next to a door he came up to, and he pressed it. He opened the door, and continued his walk down the hallway.

Destructo was becoming angered at all the constant roadblocks thrown at him. His lust to kill Kevin was too great at this point. He walked down the hallway, and stumbled on a bunch of storage crates, all marked with a giant blue R. Kevin, however was continuing his walk when he rounded a corner and two G-men FBI agent looking people were standing in front of him, one had a blue R on the right of his shirt, and the other had a red M on the left. They seized Kevin, as he (Kevin) was wondering how the hell all of this happened, and what would become of him now.

[Clarence]

*New Rules, please consider the numbers chapters, and give the chapter a name, thanks!


If you're about to contribute to the story please post a message saying "adding to story" so people will know and won't post the same time.

Chapter 16. "The Fortress of Robots"

"Who are you people?", asked Kevin as he awoke all groggy like, as if he had been drugged, in some random interrogation room. "We are the MARS rogue scientists, I am "M" and this is "R", "S" went to the market to get some veggies and "A" is taking a poo.", said the man known as "M". M quickly explained that they are trying to build a robot army, however one of their prototypes escaped. Kevin tried to deny he knew anything about this. "Let me explain" said M, as he told the story of how Destructo found some open liquor and it confused his system, causing him to wonder off somewheres into the city, and he's sure Kevin has knows where he is.

"I never seen any robot in my life", said Kevin. Even though the robot wants to kill Kevin, Kevin still remembers the good times and will try to save his life if he can. "I never seen him!", said Kevin again. "Oh come on, we have pictures of you here, holding hands and eating icecream, or another one of you here playing Nintendo in your boxers.", said M. Kevin examined the pictures, "smurf", he exclaimed, he knew he was in loads of trouble.

Meanwhile Destructio was compelled to open these giant crates. With his mighty laser nostrils he blew open the crates to reveal more robots. These robots looked a lot like Destructo, but more advanced and with cool little LED lights of many colours. A man enters from a door marked "Men's Room" with a yellow letter "A" on his shirt. "Destructo, you've returned home, now we can complete out plans of world Domination!" he said over joyed while farting. Destructo, still deaf but able to read lips, heard this and was intrigued, but still in kill mode, these conflicting emotions began to make Destructo's head spin....

[Peppy Hare]

Chapter 17. "Secrets Uncovered"

Destructo could not handle all of these conflicting emotions at once. It was impossible to try and speak to him now, since he was in a blind rage. His arms opened to reveal a panzerfaust rocket launcher and a flamethrower on one side, and a minigun and tesla gun on the other arm. The other robots awakened and various guns came out of their arms as well. Destructo then let out a screeching noise that was so loud that it could shatter rock.

Suddenly bullets flew all throughout the room. Destructo had no emotion at this point, his only thought was to kill those who posed a threat to him, and he did. Oil and parts were strewn across the room, as A looked on at the destruction. A then said in a deep voice similar to the llama's, "Well, I guess since you will be dismembered anyways, it wouldn't hurt to show you my true form". A began to grunt loudly as his hair went back into his skull, and gleaming silver spikes took their place. His skin turned completely purple and he was now covered in scales as he said "Are you ready"?

Meanwhile, back in the interrogation room, things were not going well for Kevin. "It would be rather unsportsmanlike to kill you in this state, with your body messed up like that", M said. R then suggested "We could always use him for experimentation", to which M nodded his head to. But before he could say another word, the left wall burst open, as Destructo was sent flying to the other wall by the now-exposed A. "smurf", he said to Kevin, "I guess you know our secret as well now." Kevin was barely concentrating on M now, be he continued to say "The MARS thing is the truth, but there's one thing we didn't tell you, R, S, and A are not exactly from this planet".

[Clarence]

Chapter 18 - Galatic Rage

"Ok, what the hell is going on?" asked Kevin in a freaked out voice. "I'm helping these fine young aliens take over earth, in the name of our God and Master from Mars, the mighty and horrible galatic emperor, who answers to the calling of "Ben", explained M. A screamed in a monster like voice, "We must destroy them, they ruined half our robots and know far too much!". R and S transformed into huge monsters as well, and began to surround Kevin and Destructo, while M started eating a carrot.

Meanwhile on the planet mars we now go to a castle, and the throne of Ben. "Why haven't they taken control of earth by now?" said Ben in a most dis-pleased voice. "I don't know my Lord, all the llamas we have placed on the earth to cause confusion is successfully interfering with the military and all major Earth doings however.", explained one of Ben's servants. "Well where is the robot Army, they should have moved into all the major cities by now", Ben exclaimed. "It looks like they are having some problems down there sir, one of the robots named "Destructo" turned currupt", explained the servant. "Also his reality chip got smashed and it's causing many distortions of reality, and continuity errors in this Story", said the servant.

Just then the doors flew open and a strange figure with a metal face approached the throne. "I am from the planet X, and I hear you plan to destroy the world?", said the Metal faced man. "Who the hell are you?", asked Ben. "My son was killed on your planet.... and I want to destroy the world myself!", said the guy with the metal face. "Servant, take this man's face, back, and legs and throw him in a ditch somewheres", commanded Ben. Ben watched cheerfully as they did so and carried him off.

"What of the planet Earth my Lord?", asked the servant. Ben looked down at the servant and his minions of alien comrades, and said "The MARS infiltrators are far too slow, we must now send a phalanx of 5 billion MARS warriors to the Earth.... to take it by FORCE!"

[Peppy Hare]

Chapter 19 - An Old Freind Returns

Kevin now thought that it was all over for him and Destructo. There was no sudden stroke of luck that would save them this time. But Kevin, in all his frailty, was wrong. Suddenly the room began to rumble and shake, as the floor right in front of them opened up, as tiny lava men began to pour out of the crevice. They all swarmed S, and engulfed him alive in scalding hot lava.

"Our plan is ruined"! shouted M as he, A, and R ran to the escape pods. M was unlucky though, the lava men caught up to him, tripped him, and infested his body. What once was the ringleader of these four infiltrators is not a skeleton laying on the floor. A and R made it in time though, and they blasted off back to Mars. The lava men began to retreat back to the crevice, and once they did, a familiar face came out of the crack.

The llama that exploded stood in front of them, his face looking as stern as ever. "I told you to come with me, Destructo.", said Miasma. Destructo, his emotions returning back to normal, but still a bit enraged shouted "YOU COULD HAVE TOLD US THIS WHEN YOU APPEARED IN FRONT OF US THE LAST TIME, YOU KNOW!". "I would have figured that a dark figure coming out of a giant crack in the earth would mean that I meant buisness", muttered Miasma. "You could have been more specific" said Destructo, in a more quieter tone, with which Miasma sighed.

So, Miasma told his story to the duo. "I am not really a llama you see, I am the ruler of the Underworld, which I'll have you know is a tough job." "I have to take in account of all the souls that come into the Underworld you see, and if Ben carries out his plot, the human race will be doomed, and I'll have a LOT of work to do." "So, long story short, shall we team up to save the human race, Kevin and Destructo"?

[Clarence]

Chapter 20 - The battle for Earth

Kevin and Destructo agreed to help Miasma save the world, but they informed him that A and R escaped and would surely tell Ben what had happened. Destructo used his detachable hands which were connected to cables from his body to launch into space and latch on to one of the escape pods and brought it crashing down in front of them, they then began to interrogate the wounded alien. The alien muttered with his dying breath, "You can't stop Ben, he will take over the universe, one planet at a time....". "And he's not a half bad guy once you get to know him, he reads stories to orphans and visits his Grandmother regularly", as he faded out and passed on, throwing up all over himself. "Oh you're wrong my alien friend, we will stop your leader and his wicked ways!", declared Ben triumphantly.

As the weeks went on Kevin and Destructo worked with Miasma and the lava army formulate a plan. Meanwhile Ben and his army were ready and launched their 5 billion space cruisers to Earth. Miasma got their Lava space cruisers ready too, about 7 billion less advanced ships ready to launch as well.

"This won't end....... if we win this battle.... Ben won't stop until the whole universe is destroyed", explained Miasma. "You two must fly to space from behind, and infiltrate Ben's castle on Mars, and kill him once and for all.", said Miasma. "How can we do this?", asked Kevin. "With the most powerful robot ever built at your side, I'm sure you can accomplish this, now go in this special spaceship I built just for you, and fulfill your destiny!", said Miasma. Kevin and Destructo boarded the mighty ship made of indestructible hardened Magma and flew into space, taking the long way around the moon to avoid detection.

Just then Kevin and Destructo heard loud explosions, as the battle had begun! Billions of ships were crashing into each other, and into the planet, causing many explosions and much destruction. The world leaders fired all their nules at once and the battle was then taken to the center of the world, into Misama's domain. With all the ships blasting themselves in the Earth's core, all the volcanoes of Earth erupted, then Earth could take no more....

Kevin watched in horror from the spaceship as the world he loved so much, and the alley way where he got laid for the first time, was blown into oblivion. "That..... didn't just happen did it?" asked Kevin with his mouth wide open. But, it in fact did happen, Earth was no more, and the only thing left for Kevin to do now was to defeat the being who took it all away, and get his revenge.

Don't make this "all just a dream" or something guys, the Earth really is gone.