Clarence's way too long Infinity Wars review
Posted: Sun May 06, 2018 10:38 am
SPOILERS!!!
I saw it! I saw this movie and avoid all spoilers!!! Oh shazam! it was good! This movie was nuts and did not smurf around!! It just smurf started!! And what felt like 5 minutes in so much shazam! happened, Thanos and his henchmen, killing of Loki and Heimdel and major hulk defeat WOW!
Man like if you have been waiting to see a marvel movie and choose this as your first one ... lol. I love it though by now we don't need all these introductions - let's get to work!
This is the darkest marvel to date and it's not even close. Oh my shazam! he choked loki to death! That's some dark shazam! for a 5 year old to see!! Where is the outrage like when Apocalypse choked out Mystique?
Man I would hate to be a fanboy for the Hulk. "Oh boy I can't wait to see the HULK!!!" .... lose a 20 second match and not appear in the rest of the movie. Is this Marvel trying to subvert expectations? They faked out the trailer and I actually like that, keeps everyone guessing.
But Man how disappointing the hulk was. Like he couldn't handle a loss and wouldn't fight again ala Conor McGreggor. Banner and hulk starting to talk to each other is an avenue I don't want to see these character take - it seems weird off place
I loved telekinetic evil guy. He was AWESOME!! Seriously, all these henchmen children of thanos were great and not generic, but telekinetic guy was amazing. Loved him so much! Opening fight scene was great! Disappointing to see the telenetic guy lose first but liked how it was done, thought it was a clever spidey move. Spidey's costume was interesting but don't want to see it in Spider-Man sequel.
loved then they used the mystic portal thing to cut off that large dude's arm. Forgot if that was Strange or Wong. Man I'm trying to think of another time cutting off someone's arm off with a portal would come in handy ... hmmm...
Liked the reality stone fake out. NVM that Thor 2 said the reality stone was liquid and now it's not but smurf it. Hey ... what's with Thanos and bubbles? At least twice he turned hero's weapons or attack into bubbles... why is bubbles the first thing he thinks of? This big evil man and all he cam come up with it bubbles?? Why not spiders or something? Bubbles? smurf bubbles?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCxObybYNjY
What am I talking about
Space ships were cool, visuals were amazing, Thanos was the best. Marvel is stepping up their badguy game for sure, which was a major weakness for them before. Thanos motivations being what the movie made them be instead of a love for death was good too.
They were definitely smurf with the audience with that soul stone. Which wasn't orange enough by the way. At the start of the movie they kill Heimdel, smurf that theory! And Thor makes a remark too like "Nobody knows where that one is huh guys wink wink nudge nudge" and I hated where it turned out to be. Marvel movies are so thought out and this felt like they forgot about it until they were making the movie ... Oh smurf we gotta put it in!! The getting the soul stone scene was bothersome for me, my least favourite part of the movie and a super pointless return of Red Skull .... did we need this? This took me out of the movie and made me remember I was watching a nerdy over the top comic book movie.
The heroes in this movie were at the worst, geepers they ALL made wrong moves! Like every one of them! Quill not killing Gamora and then preventing them from almost getting Thanos oven mitt off. smurf Quill. Everyone smurf around trying to keep Vision alive when they can kill the stone???? Like the whole universe is on the line but they risk it all for a weird red robot man that I hate? Oh my gosh
The worst part about this movie though was Dr. Strange.
Let me start by saying that Dr. Strange was the best part of this movie. His fight scenes were awesome, and I loved his on screen presence. He did some cool new trippy fight moves and I loved em all, he has ths best attacks!! Man these fight scenes were next level over the top and fantastic. Where do they go from here???!? I think they reached the top of the bar.
So when they were stuck on the ship and Tony was trying to save face pretending they could fly it ummmm ... why couldn't Dr. Strange sling ring himself home? Are his portals only limited to earth or can he go anywhere?
Dr. Strange was very much about defending the lime coloured infinity stone with his life saying he wouldn't hesitate to let Tony and Pete die if it came to that. .... HE would not HESISTATE to let iron man and spidey die to save the stone!!! ... then later he's like "Here's the stone please don't hurt my best friends"
?!?!?!?!?! WHAT IN THE smurf!>!!!>!!> This shazam! better be explained in the next movie cause it was so awful it was unreal. I was astonished at that scene. ANd it happened in slow motion too ... green stone slowly floating to him .... expecting a betrayal or cool Dr. Strange movie but no ... Thanos just adds another colourful rhinestone to his Michael Jackson glove and leaves ... ????
It was actually refreshing to see the badguy win, this a a bold move for marvel, finally the bad guy smurf win and it cuts to credits on his smile! People turning into ash was shocking and haunting. Surprised what characters they chose to kill off. smurf you black panther! Spidey's death scene was heart breaking. smurf sakes he was studying for his math test 5 hours ago. Wonder how the announced Spider-Man will go without him? Wondering how the announced Guardians of the Galaxy movie will go with these remaining Guardians:
That's going to be a weird movie.
Interesting Stan Lee cameo but to be honest I was distracted because there's a 95 year old man driving a school bus of kids!!! lol legit was what I as thinking.
Iron Man's armour was cool. Cap was sexier than ever. Loved the Thor and Quill scene where Quill tried to change his voice. Guardians were involved in the best jokes. Loved the Guardians entrance with the music. Teen groot didn't do it for me, he just sucks, Big Groot and Baby Groot had more screen time and were much better characters. Teen Groot sucks bottom.
Loved Rocket's reoccurring body parts gag, the eye for Thor, wanting Winter Soldier's arm. This I think was a gag they started for the movies but it was so fun they kept doing it.
Loved the way characters played off each other. The Guardians vs Spidey and Iron Man and Strange scene was Great! Marvel can't resist situations where heroes fight each other.
Saw Thanos time reversal coming from a mile away.
Random Tobias Arrested Development scene???!
Post credit scene!!! yay!!! Samuel L Jackson!!! ... and hes dead. Loved the plane crash in the background as the pilot must have got deleted. Interesting thought, how much did Thanos smurf up the universe with this?
Calling Miss Marvel? Really? NOW!!?!? Why now? Why not with Ultron or the Chittuari etc
smurf sakes
I may have more thoughts later
10/10 I just like to nitpick and be an balloon knot but I thoroughly enjoyed this movie!! Good times. So many characters! What a show ! Time for ... Ant Man stand alone movie? Yay?
...
So in the scene where Tony Stark pulls out that old phone that Cap gave him, and he was mulling it over debating on if he should call cap or not. This felt like a long scene, the audience was quiet ... Stark was looking at that phone.
Through the silence my wife yells out "JUST DO IT!!!!"
And she put both hands over her mouth to shut herself up cause she was even surprised she did that, people around laughed. Good times
I saw it! I saw this movie and avoid all spoilers!!! Oh shazam! it was good! This movie was nuts and did not smurf around!! It just smurf started!! And what felt like 5 minutes in so much shazam! happened, Thanos and his henchmen, killing of Loki and Heimdel and major hulk defeat WOW!
Man like if you have been waiting to see a marvel movie and choose this as your first one ... lol. I love it though by now we don't need all these introductions - let's get to work!
This is the darkest marvel to date and it's not even close. Oh my shazam! he choked loki to death! That's some dark shazam! for a 5 year old to see!! Where is the outrage like when Apocalypse choked out Mystique?
Man I would hate to be a fanboy for the Hulk. "Oh boy I can't wait to see the HULK!!!" .... lose a 20 second match and not appear in the rest of the movie. Is this Marvel trying to subvert expectations? They faked out the trailer and I actually like that, keeps everyone guessing.
But Man how disappointing the hulk was. Like he couldn't handle a loss and wouldn't fight again ala Conor McGreggor. Banner and hulk starting to talk to each other is an avenue I don't want to see these character take - it seems weird off place
I loved telekinetic evil guy. He was AWESOME!! Seriously, all these henchmen children of thanos were great and not generic, but telekinetic guy was amazing. Loved him so much! Opening fight scene was great! Disappointing to see the telenetic guy lose first but liked how it was done, thought it was a clever spidey move. Spidey's costume was interesting but don't want to see it in Spider-Man sequel.
loved then they used the mystic portal thing to cut off that large dude's arm. Forgot if that was Strange or Wong. Man I'm trying to think of another time cutting off someone's arm off with a portal would come in handy ... hmmm...
Liked the reality stone fake out. NVM that Thor 2 said the reality stone was liquid and now it's not but smurf it. Hey ... what's with Thanos and bubbles? At least twice he turned hero's weapons or attack into bubbles... why is bubbles the first thing he thinks of? This big evil man and all he cam come up with it bubbles?? Why not spiders or something? Bubbles? smurf bubbles?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCxObybYNjY
What am I talking about
Space ships were cool, visuals were amazing, Thanos was the best. Marvel is stepping up their badguy game for sure, which was a major weakness for them before. Thanos motivations being what the movie made them be instead of a love for death was good too.
They were definitely smurf with the audience with that soul stone. Which wasn't orange enough by the way. At the start of the movie they kill Heimdel, smurf that theory! And Thor makes a remark too like "Nobody knows where that one is huh guys wink wink nudge nudge" and I hated where it turned out to be. Marvel movies are so thought out and this felt like they forgot about it until they were making the movie ... Oh smurf we gotta put it in!! The getting the soul stone scene was bothersome for me, my least favourite part of the movie and a super pointless return of Red Skull .... did we need this? This took me out of the movie and made me remember I was watching a nerdy over the top comic book movie.
The heroes in this movie were at the worst, geepers they ALL made wrong moves! Like every one of them! Quill not killing Gamora and then preventing them from almost getting Thanos oven mitt off. smurf Quill. Everyone smurf around trying to keep Vision alive when they can kill the stone???? Like the whole universe is on the line but they risk it all for a weird red robot man that I hate? Oh my gosh
The worst part about this movie though was Dr. Strange.
Let me start by saying that Dr. Strange was the best part of this movie. His fight scenes were awesome, and I loved his on screen presence. He did some cool new trippy fight moves and I loved em all, he has ths best attacks!! Man these fight scenes were next level over the top and fantastic. Where do they go from here???!? I think they reached the top of the bar.
So when they were stuck on the ship and Tony was trying to save face pretending they could fly it ummmm ... why couldn't Dr. Strange sling ring himself home? Are his portals only limited to earth or can he go anywhere?
Dr. Strange was very much about defending the lime coloured infinity stone with his life saying he wouldn't hesitate to let Tony and Pete die if it came to that. .... HE would not HESISTATE to let iron man and spidey die to save the stone!!! ... then later he's like "Here's the stone please don't hurt my best friends"
?!?!?!?!?! WHAT IN THE smurf!>!!!>!!> This shazam! better be explained in the next movie cause it was so awful it was unreal. I was astonished at that scene. ANd it happened in slow motion too ... green stone slowly floating to him .... expecting a betrayal or cool Dr. Strange movie but no ... Thanos just adds another colourful rhinestone to his Michael Jackson glove and leaves ... ????
It was actually refreshing to see the badguy win, this a a bold move for marvel, finally the bad guy smurf win and it cuts to credits on his smile! People turning into ash was shocking and haunting. Surprised what characters they chose to kill off. smurf you black panther! Spidey's death scene was heart breaking. smurf sakes he was studying for his math test 5 hours ago. Wonder how the announced Spider-Man will go without him? Wondering how the announced Guardians of the Galaxy movie will go with these remaining Guardians:
That's going to be a weird movie.
Interesting Stan Lee cameo but to be honest I was distracted because there's a 95 year old man driving a school bus of kids!!! lol legit was what I as thinking.
Iron Man's armour was cool. Cap was sexier than ever. Loved the Thor and Quill scene where Quill tried to change his voice. Guardians were involved in the best jokes. Loved the Guardians entrance with the music. Teen groot didn't do it for me, he just sucks, Big Groot and Baby Groot had more screen time and were much better characters. Teen Groot sucks bottom.
Loved Rocket's reoccurring body parts gag, the eye for Thor, wanting Winter Soldier's arm. This I think was a gag they started for the movies but it was so fun they kept doing it.
Loved the way characters played off each other. The Guardians vs Spidey and Iron Man and Strange scene was Great! Marvel can't resist situations where heroes fight each other.
Saw Thanos time reversal coming from a mile away.
Random Tobias Arrested Development scene???!
Post credit scene!!! yay!!! Samuel L Jackson!!! ... and hes dead. Loved the plane crash in the background as the pilot must have got deleted. Interesting thought, how much did Thanos smurf up the universe with this?
Calling Miss Marvel? Really? NOW!!?!? Why now? Why not with Ultron or the Chittuari etc
smurf sakes
I may have more thoughts later
10/10 I just like to nitpick and be an balloon knot but I thoroughly enjoyed this movie!! Good times. So many characters! What a show ! Time for ... Ant Man stand alone movie? Yay?
...
So in the scene where Tony Stark pulls out that old phone that Cap gave him, and he was mulling it over debating on if he should call cap or not. This felt like a long scene, the audience was quiet ... Stark was looking at that phone.
Through the silence my wife yells out "JUST DO IT!!!!"
And she put both hands over her mouth to shut herself up cause she was even surprised she did that, people around laughed. Good times