Here is a list of characters which will be updated as new comics come out and things change -- contains spoilers if you haven't read the 246th comic and beyond!!! Let me know if thereis mitsakes
--Feel free to suggest updates to be made to this page or if you're a mod, just edit it as you like. Treat it like Wikipedia.
-----Evil Bastard-----
Sir Walter - Sir Walter is actually a Hat from another dimension that can control anyone who wears him. A total prick if you ask me - constantly ruining people's lives in his reckless search for power
-----Characters based on actual NELG members -----
Great Dot - A friendly blue dot who is laid back and is constantly doing renovations on his house or having food themed parties. Has a brother, Boggle.
Boggle - Great Dot's brother. Makes awesome Burritos. Always around to help Great Dot with his never ending renovations. Always likes to help out and give advise to anyone. An all around great dot!
Ninja - Great Dot's stealthy brother, now you see him, now OW MY EYE!!
Strawberry Chex - An awesome kick-bottom cereal who always gets stuck with a bad online date. Has three little cereals children.
Froot Loop - Eldest spawn of Strawberry Chex. Future neurosurgeon.
Apple Jack - Middle spawn of Strawberry Chex. A curious cereal who loves to jump and climb.
Corn Pop - Youngest spawn of Strawberry Chex. Always wants a snack.
Bella - She is a bell who helps babysit for Strawberry Chex sometimes.
LaMeow - A zen-cat who hates arguments/fights and likes the color blue and chocolate. Oh and occasionally looses her temper when she feels pressured by others.
Dowster - A British chap who loves to put on silly faces and make people laugh. Disappears often but when he comes back it's awesome!
Cho - The town butterfly!
Shay - An artist who of course would be an artist paint brush
Sizz - A musical music stand who loves to make awesome music!
Nich - A hedgehog who loves to play video games about other hedgehogs.
Eff - Bad at English and obsessed with Clarence ... !!!
Moe - A lawnmower who's obsessed with technology.
Forky - A German genius who beat every smurf game he ever played
Cherry Pepsi - Leader of the League of Severe Evil and an all out amazing guy all the way around despite being the leader of an evil organization. Former human turned Cherry Pepsi!
Princess Tee - She's a pretty intense presence in the league! Has a pet unicorn named Frederick! A telekinetic super stiletto of epic proportions and quite possibly the most powerful character in the show! Very intimidating and not afraid to stand up to anyone or just yell a lot.
The N.T.G. - Addicted to numbers - especially 255!!!
-----More friends-----
Frederick - Princess Tee's pet unicorn that talks and has magical powers.
Skateboard Jake - Nephew of Sally's Dad - er Lando's cousin in law? I can't keep track of this shazam!
Walter - Someone who has the same name as Walter
Dr. Lego - A Lego nurse who used the league influence to become a doctor!! She is outrageously stupid even when it comes to knowing anything that pertains to being a doctor which she has been working very hard to be... Now wears a reflective doctor thing to seem more ... doctor like.
Charlie the Chainsaw - A Chainsaw who carries a chainsaw ...
Crankshaft - A smurf crank shaft and friend of Great Dots'.
Pierre Razor - French straight razor that shaved criminals before they faced the guillotine. Not really evil, but numb to both life and death. Until he met Monica, a sexy Italian switch blade who made him realize there is more to life... until Peach Ring absconded with her to America!
Jackknife - A Swiss Delegate who got swept into an unexpected adventure when Bread Slice borrowed his body for a while.
-----The rest-----
Crepes - French Henchman of Maurice! Seems often confused by Maurice's antics.
Pastor Podium - The very honest pastor of the local church.
The Killer Suppository - A evil doer who does evil things to balloon knot.
Deflated Balloon - Has frequent temper tantrums if he doesn't get his way.
Dr. Disc - The greatest doctor this world has ever seen who is madly in love with Dr. Lego.
Creepy Bar Owner - A bar owner who owns it at being creepy.
Milk Crate - A poor happy go lucky milk crate who was taken over by the hat people as his body is perfect to store things! Seriously, milk crates are great! They're durable, can store things, be stack-able etc etc
Sammy - An old cellphone who refuses to die! Seriously!
Parker - Peter's twin sister who loves romantic comedies and long relaxing baths. From dimension E.
WTF - OMG!!!
----Police-----
Police Chief Bullet Proof Vest - Chief of polioce!!
Officer Badge - A really bad police officer - like the worst
Officer Winona - Some kind of whorry police officer lady
-----Deceased Characters!!!-----
Magneto (AKA Mr. Gray) - The first death in the comics from this poorly named character who is loud and has magnetic powers ... he accidentally pulled a plane into himself and died and the League of Shadowy Figures blames Cushion who was there at the time being harassed by Magneto.
Mortimer Maximus Manheim Junior III -Mortimer lead a very sheltered yet structured life with his strict parents, a wagon wheel and a bent coat-hanger. Forbidden to watch TV he wasn't able to learn things as quickly as his peers, which were few and far between because he was home schooled and not allowed to have friends. Sadly his sheltered life lead to be his undoing as he was unable to recognize the danger of the lit bomb he was holding that blew him up at McDonalds on a random Wednesday. He was one day away from being promoted to manager too, sad.
Evil Flower - A surprisingly evil flower who lost his head!
Monica - Peach Ring's knife who died tragically
Ephraim the Eraser - A killer eraser that erased everything he touched! Seems to regret that he can't touch anything but had his assistant Mustafa touch things on his behalf.
English Cucumber - Was very attractive to the ladies.... until he was treated too rough and broke in half.
Roy - Liked old music. Choked to death on ketchup?? Former member of the Elite Elderly Circuit.
Winebottle - A happy go lucky wine bottle who loved to have people over for a glass of wine. Very friendly but picked the wrong friends it seems...
Clippy - Crazy candy addict who was very stupid/random and always liked to go on an adventure and tried to be a good guy.
Mr. Gear - Stoner balloon knot who was especially mean to Clippy and never wanted to do anything, seriously lazy and unhelpful. Seemed kind of evil really.
Cheesus - Alcoholic former super hero who drank because he lost his powers and was totally useless in the end.
Steroids Man - A character who did steroids a lot and lost control of himself often. A very original character because I'm not so out of ideas that I'm starting to rip myself off.
Mr. Bucket - The bucket who exposed the Shadowy Figures' true appearance. He died so gruesomely I don't dare explain what happened
Pine - Sir Chair’s on again / off again wife. She didn’t have a lot of options, obviously. Mr. Gear and Clippy's dead Mom.
Beth - Peach Ring's baseball bat girlfriend who, like Monica the knife, never talked or was known to be sentient.
Knob - Hasn't been the same since tube left him.
Smokey - Was high all the time! Screwed up or forgot to complete his evil plans because he got high, because he got high, because he got high!! Also ran the weed store and was Mr. Gear's #1 supplier before Mr. Gear died.
Professor Tobacco Pipe - Had bladder problems and missed his Grandson, Smokey. Died in a tragic Christmas explosion.
Lord Onion - League of Severe Evil's super short lived replacement for Smokey but Tee killed him as she's allergic to onions.
Hammond - Peachy's Katana which was gifted from Cushion. Hammond died when he was shattered to bits on Sir Slices magic crystal cane!!
Fenwick - A random brick that Peachy used to talk too.... ... ???
Dominick - Cushion's bra that Peachy used to talk too ... ?? !!! :O
Benchy - A random bench that Cushion was sitting on in the first comic. Cushion flipped him over when trying to get away from Peach Ring on their first encounter. Benchy has since been trying to get back on his feet and wants to kill Cushion. Joined up with the elderly to help his cause.... but then left cause the elderly are useless.
Miss Chamberpot - Only female member of the Elite Elderly Circuit who was maybe the least evil and maybe not evil at all, kind and caring actually.
Bigger English Cucumber - Older and fatter brother of English Cucumber. Also was kidnapped by Strawberry Chex.
Mr. Blue - Former member of the League of Shadowy figures who was kidnapped by the Hat People so Sir Walter could take his place in the League!
French Fries - Leader of Maurice's French henchmen. He was the plan guy, but often got impatient and handled things his own way.
Escargot - A slimy and slippery French henchman who leaved trails of slime for people to trip on.
Pie A La Mode - Everyone got hungry and ate the pie.
Frog Legs - A French henchman who was an expert at Judo and Kick-boxing. Was very fast and limber with his legs!!
Joey the Slide - A very innocent man who was at the wrong place at the wrong time
Dread Slice - Used to have a code name of Mr. Pink which he hated because he wore a red cape... which turned pink after a laundry malfunction. Also Nurse Lego found him creepy. Liked to carry and use bombs a lot. Got mad when others think he's gay but at the same time had a lot of gay qualities. Had a fun love/hate relationship with Ban Hammer. Lost his body to Bread Slice, who permanently took it over. Dread Slice was from dimension "E" also known as the Evil dimension, and that alternate to Bread Slice.
Sir chair - A veteran super villain who got his confidence back after Mr. Gear and Clippy finally died. Was determined to take over the world and felt invincible until he was killed by a unicorn...
Boris the Beard - When Peter the Great was trying to modernize Russia, he wanted all the old Russian men to shave their beards so they looked more like the France -- at the time, the most modern country in Europe. If they did not comply, they had to pay a Beard Tax. Boris was so outraged by this that he left Russia and has been wandering Europe as a Mercenary ever since. Boris : Beard For Hire.
Thaddeus - Evil Leader of the Elite Elderly Circuit who apparently was in some horrible accident! Then in another horrible face slicing off and sewn back on thing.
Arthur the Victorian Couch - Cushion's balloon knot/racist Grandfather who wants to have her killed. May have had Cushion's parents killed as well!
Covered Bridge - A really old member who likes to insult the other members.
Ole Scratchy - Has a seeing eye disorder or something.
5 Hour Energy Drink - A bottle of 5 Hour Energy Drink who had his energy drank and became old with a beard/cane. Now very slow paced and filled with liquor instead.
Steve - Rarely talks and generally creeps everyone out. His bark may be worse than his bite, or fire breath. Basically is a total jabberwocky, especially since Tee joined the group. He's very scared of her!
Blaza - A more gangster version of fire.
Reaper - A hedgehog who loves to play video games about other hedgehogs.
Yellow Pepper - A fight crasher who crashed the wrong fight!
Car Battery - He was the leader of the Society of quilters and carried a blanket!!!
The Ibliss Trigger - The greatest villain and infiltrator of all places ... in his mind. Possessed by the hat that tried to go after LaMeow earlier in the comics.
Yo-Yo Ma - A pretty chill and cool yo yo who was pretty hip ... hip into killing that is.
Mustafa - Evil toiler paper roll that had toilet paper themed powers and is totally gangster! Formerly Ephraim the Eraser's assistant as Ephraim couldn't touch things.
Coke - A dangerous man who takes fabulous pictures!
Super Pear - Once a super hero but turned evil after his disdain for humanity and all it's corporate greed.
Bi-Polar Roller - A very happy sad happy sad HAPPY SAD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Actually, that was an act to infiltrate the Evil Bunch with great success!
Spork Man - An angry fork/spoon hybrid who isn't afraid to stab people with his prongs of death!
The Crack Hen - A hen and crack pipe combination that needs to borrow money for drugs.
Clocky AKA Timekeeper AKA Handyman AKA Ronald - A clock by many names with some kind of multiple personality disorder who is obsessed with hiding in bushes and jumping out when someone happens to ask "What time is it?"
Mr. Universe - A mysterious gem from another dimension or something who has some kind of far out, cosmic powers. Brother to Metal Diamond.
Stripper Unicorn - A stripper and only unicorn to help Frederick with his problems. Was buff and all natural. Liked to say annoying things while kicking bottom!
Jake "The Neck" Giordano - Peachy's former steroids dealer before Frederick put him out of business.
??? - A portal that can teleport anywhere who spent a lot of time being enslaved by hat people.
Yarn Ball - An innocent little yarn ball that was possessed by the most evil character on the show: Supreme Hat
Darryl the Double Down - A very fat and unhealthy KFC menu item that should have never been conceived.
Metal Diamond - The most indestructible character in my show!!!! Brother of Mr. Universe. EDIT: Turns out he was destructable
Barry the Bomb - Has an explosive personality if you get to know him.
Mandelbrot - Some guy who thinks he's Dowster's brother and has meme superpowers ???
293 - Mandelbrot's Dad who thinks he's also Dowster's Dad and is bad at keeping his secret that he is actually their rival and wants to kill them.
Peter - Parker's twin brother who enjoys trapping and sucking the liquids out of his prey. From Dimension E.
Helen - Yet another lost kife of Peachy
Winston - Leader and supreme head commander of the elite bread stick army forces. From Dimension B.
Greggor - A birthday boy who died on his birthday and prefers red cars. From Dimension B.
Fat Walter - An evil, fat version of Walter who's extremely vulgar and horrible in most ways.
Evil Cushion - From the evil dimension - Not sure what the difference is between cushions to be honest.
Evil Mr. Gear - Killed in the evil dimension by Evil Clippy!!!
Evil Cheesus - Killed in the evil dimension by Evil Clippy!!!
Evil Clippy - Killed in the evil dimension by Evil Clippy!!!
Cushion - Cowardly pillow who everyone seems to want to kill. Has annoying hobbies as well as personality. She is a woman who has been pretending to be a man to inherit her Grandfather's money as her parents have died mysteriously. Recently gave birth to a child that may fulfill an ancient prophesy?
Bread Slice - Is super in love and mega obsessed with Cushion who he is now in a relationship with. He is from Dimension "B" as in baked goods and appears to be on some kind of secret mission?
Ban Hammer - A hammer that always tries to ban people and likes to argue. Gets mad cause other people like to use him as a ... hammer ...
JawBreaker - A giant candy ball of death who loves to break people's jaws.
Sparky - A pile of electricity that was recently freed of hat enslavement and joined the good guys - yay!! But then, as a power source, he got sucked into a power cane and died :/
Evil Ban Hammer - Evil alternate of Ban Hammer but with the power of Thor!!
Hanthony - Always loves to give people a hand ... an EVIL hand!! (I'm running out of descriptions for these people)
Osama Bin Ladle - An evil terrorist who burns people with hot soup!!
Éclair - A fat, often tired French henchman who likes to blow his load ... of custard all over people.
Evil Dowster - An angry brit who loves to give people shazam!.
Evil Eff - Evil version of Eff who's obsessed with the evil version of Clarence.
Fat Moe - Evil version of Moe, but instead of being obsessed with technology, he's obsessed with EATING EVERYTHING!!!
Evil Shay - An evil paint brush who loves to paint her enemies ... with their own blood!!!
Evil Cho - Evil butterfly who loves to lift people high up in the air and drop them into power lines and laugh.
Forkenstein - Evil German pitchfork alternate of Forky who's just as smart and twice as deadly.
Evil Ninja - Another brother of Grape Dot who loves to sneak up on people and slice em to bits!!
Vlad the Inhaler - A very evil being who loves to inhale people ... it's creepy.
LaMurder - Evil brass cat statue that uses witchcraft to torture everyone.
Sizzle - She loves to murder people with trumpets and tambourines.
Gluten Free Oatmeal Chex - The most horrible version of Chex who's blood lust can not be quenched!!
Frankie Fidget Spinner - He loves to spin and spin and spin and get dizzy and puke all over everyone and ruin parties. He'll spin you right round, baby right round, like a record player, right round, right round.
Treble Clef - Always getting into all kinds of ... mischief.
X - Another evil letter like Evil Eff who's actually Evil Eff's Ex and he loves listening to DMX.
Hells Bells - Evil version of Bella who loves to kidnap people and beat them to death and cook them in a large pot.
Evil Boggle - Murderous brother to Grape Dot who loves to kill people who wears watches to add to his bloody watch collection.
Grape Dot - Leader of Dimension E, the Evil dimension - the opposite of Great Dot and wants to only harm everyone and maintain his reign as Emperor!
Evil Clarence - Alternate of our sexy neighbourhood Clarence and with a kick-bottom goatee to boot :O
Evil Princess Tee - Evil alternate Dimension E Princess Tee who loves to kidnap shirtless hunky celebrities.
Peachy - Murderous peach ring who is mostly a confused serial killer! Grows tired of disappointing adversaries that aren't worthy of the kill. Has unusual religious beliefs. Keeps getting bigger and he's on steroids. After a bad relationship with Cushion he may never be the same again. Super strong thanks to steroids, so much so that he seems to be immune to hat possession. Is now forever deaf after listening to loud, bad music.
Supreme Hat - Ancient evil being who took over a hat that in turn lead to taking over two dimensions. Strange ancient evil ball of energy that possessed the Demon Child!!.
Daemos - The evil demon spawn of Cushion and Clippy after their one off wild tickle fight romp. Suffered from rapid aging syndrome. Lastly possessed by the great evil!!
Vinny the Vacuum - An old, broken down vacuum that Great Dot repaired and is now completely loyal to Great Dot.
Mr. Matt - A resistor who can resist ANYTHING!!! Turned against the Hat People cause he was treated too badly
Supreme Hat - This is the original Supreme Hat, ruler of Dimension H and the hat people before the ancient evil took him over and assumed his identity.
Science Hat - Supreme Hat's most important minister of sciences ... or knowing how to do shazam! that Supreme Hat is incapable of doing himself.
Lord Montague - Was Supreme Hat's second in command and had the body of a portal. Became Supreme Hat for a minute.
Light Bulb Guard #1 - First of many slain by the great Shay
??? - The Illuminati muscle. He is the strongest of ... the group full of light bulbs ... ...
??? - The tiny but feisty member of the group!
??? - The trickster of the group.
??? - The balloon knot of the group, seriously this guy's a son of a jabberwocky!!
??? - The tall guy of the group. He reaches things that are up high ...
??? - The fat guy of the group. Has a paranoia related eating disability.
Frank - Big, Burly muscle of the Light Bulb People
Coal Hat - Spy for the Illuminati who spies on Dimension H: The Hat dimension
??? - Leader of the Illuminati! Has lots of wisdom and knows everything that's going on all over the world at all times.
Sally Banana - Wife of Lando - the banana that Sir Walter took over.
Little Kid Banana - kid of Sally Banana ^^^
Sir Slice - A hat person who took over a yummy slice of pizza. A super low level henchmen of the Hat people who failed horribly at his job.
??? - The Hat who tried to take over the Deflated Balloon only to realize that maybe life is better just being dead.
??? - A hat who failed to infiltrate the Illuminati!!
??? - An evil hat who had no morals and would go after women and children!!
??? - The Hat that tried to take over Blaza. He played with fire and got burnt . He also tried to take over Steve.
??? - The Hat that tried to take over Sir Chair and then Dread Slice.
??? - The hat that tried to take over Nurse Lego.
??? - The hat that tried to take over Ban Hammer.
??? - The hat that tried to take over Frederick.
??? - The hat that tried to take over Tee .... and failed dramatically.
??? - The hat that tried to take over Clarence!
Dame Genevieve - The only woman hat of Supreme Hat's top henchmen. Inherited Sir Slice's cane and was on a mission to help take over Earth! Successfully took over most of the Evil Bunch but got her bottom kicked by Princess Tee!
??? - A hat who took over a milk crate so he could hide his fellow hats inside to sneak attack our heroes!
Gary - A hat who seems to be known for causing febreeze.
??? - She was a total diva
??? - Just another member of the Trojan Horse milk crate invasion team.
St Paddys Hat - A St Paddys themed hat who died immediately.
??? - Likes to stab at people with his pointy spike!!
??? - Bladder control issues
??? - Usually gives up too easily ...
??? - Always sleepy and probably taking a nap right now!
??? - She's got a lot of spunk!!
??? - Gets shazam! done!
Micro Hat - The tiniest hat who loves to spy on people.
Evil Fedora - An evil formal fedora that infiltrated Great Dot's
??? - An evil construction hat who infiltrated Great Dot's with his twin and were tortured to death
??? - An evil construction hat who infiltrated Great Dot's with his twin and were tortured to death
Sir Phillip - A smurf tank with a modified weapon from space!!! Oh shazam!!!
??? - A Hat that took over CNN news reporter Wolf Blitzer for a while.
??? - An evil toque that took over Metal Diamond and crushed by the same.
Sir Nigel - A smurf awesome Magneto helmet that has taken over the body of a yummy chocolate chip cookie!! How smurf awesome is this for reals?
Sir Maxwell - A nut with a metal hat who is into heavy metal
Sir Montgomery - A Badass double barrel shotgun!! With a mad wild west attitude!
Sir Xavier - A hat person that had the body of electricity. One of Supreme Hat's elite henchmen.
Fred the Lover of Holiday Spirit - A Christmas themed former bad guy who only appears during the holidays. Now loves Christmas after visiting Great Dot's and no longer tries to ruin everyone's Christmas in horrible / stupid ways.
Monsieur Maurice - French brother of Sir Walter who speaks French badly and is very annoying. Is very evil and random, enjoys chaos over order!
??? - hat that took over car battery
??? - hat that took over the yoyo
??? - hat that took over clocky
??? - hat that took over super pear
??? - hat that took over coke
??? - hat that took over The Crack Hen
??? - hat that took over the weird red diamond thingy
??? - hat that took over the spork
??? - hat that took over Mustafa
??? - hat that took over The Ibliss Trigger
??? - hat that took over the bowling bal
Miss Marble - The most powerful shoehorned superhero in ever
Master Loaf - A strange, wise and master being from Dimension B, the baked goods dimension. Was on a grand mission to stop the great evil AKA Supreme Hat from taking over all the dimensions!
Belpheobe - Frederick's former girlfriend from the unicorn dimension but didn't satisfy her needs.
Dwayne - The guy ... er Uniman who moved in on Frederick's girl and then kicked Frederick's bottom.
King Unicorn - King of the Unicorn peoples in Dimension U: The Unicorn dimension.
Sally's Dad - An elderly banana father of Sally - Lando's wife - on a mission to get Lando's body back from Sir Walter Hat.
Larry Ladder - Tony T-Rex's henchman - a super powered ladder that kicks bottom and wastes no time
Tony T-Rex - Dodgy business owner of a museum
Billy Breadstick - Last of the Dimension B people
Gómez - A taco brought to live by Great Dot's next level cooking skills. Hardened from jail time
Lando Banana The banana that Sir Walter lived on for a while. Was actually the sole surviving banana from when Maurice made a bunch of banana babies. Is evil and insane and wants revenge on everyone for standing by while Sir Walter had control of his body.
Characters (old EPs 247 -310)
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- Game Destroyer
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