Have you ever...

[Eff]

Umm...i wish i could help but i'lll say find help somewher els, like... her parents? doctor? school teacher?

[Beany]

I'll leave her be - since she's not self harming right now i have some time to think of ways to control her...

[Dowster]

I used to do that when I was a kid, specifically cutting because I liked the marks it left and the fact that people would notice. I wasn't exactly lacking on attention (although not all of it was good), so I don't really know why I did it or why I stopped after a year or so can only say that it's usually done because of a lack of attention. Particularly from a parental/authority figure if the person in question is young. The best you can do is let your friend know that she has someone that cares about her and be depended on.

Sometimes though it can be just spoiled kids after even more attention than they get already - kind of like a big kids version of a tantrum - in which case what they need is a good kick up the bottom. Depends on how serious the "harming" is

[Beany]

Okay, next time she self harms, I'll punch her. Is that what you meant?

[chex]

I hope you're joking.

[Beany]

I had a word with her the other day, checking that she was okay with not self harming next term. She said that it was only really while her dad was ill.

[summer]

She needs help. She's acting out her frustrations and aggression on herself by self harming. Be a friend and talk to her and be there for her. Do her parents know?

[Eff]

Do her parents alive?

[Dowster]

Okay, next time she self harms, I'll punch her. Is that what you meant?

Um yeah if you choose to ignore my whole first paragraph...

[Beany]

I told her the rules. She isn't allowed to self harm or I'm allowed to punch her, but if she's annoyed I've got to be nice to her. In other words I've been suckered.

[Eff]

Alialia, TOO many movies are you watching?

[Blondie]

She just needs some professional help, and a really good friend to talk to privately.

[chex]

Without threatening to punch her.

[Blondie]

Without threatening to punch her.

Absolutely

[Dowster]

Ok maybe it's just me as someone that did self harm, but when you said shutting her hands in a door, it just doesn't really sound like it's neccessarily self harming (although it could be), it sounds like a it's possibly a spoiled kid acting out - for example I had friends that would get pissy with their parents and punch the wall or door, not hard enough to actually hurt themselves but enough to make their hand red for about 2 minutes, which would make their parents panic and give them whatever they wanted.

If she is actually doing harm to herself, then no there should definitely be no punching or kicking or bossing her around.